LE RÉSUMÉ PAS SURPRENANT DE NINTENDO !! (Vidéo exclusive Dailymotion)

INFOSMILE

27/03/2024

Abonne toi BG !

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Amusant

Transcription

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00:00 *Pokémon sound*

00:02 Hey man, did you hear about the new Pokémon?

00:05 Pokémon? Never heard of it, bro.

00:07 But bro, you wear a Pikachu sweatshirt!

00:09 Pikachu? Never heard of it? How do you spell it? Pi-a-kli-a-tissue?

00:12 Oh, you're that kind of guy, yeah, who buys clothes with pop culture references without knowing what it is, right?

00:17 Clothes? Even more never heard of it.

00:19 Ok, you're a loser, boring, and you're also annoying me.

00:21 Great, very good. That's a lot, right?

00:23 Loser? Never heard of it, actually.

00:27 *Pokémon sound*

00:31 So today, we decided to talk about Nintendo.

00:34 You know, this Japanese company founded by the Yamoshi family.

00:37 But before becoming one of the three modern pillars of video games,

00:40 it was actually a company that sold playing cards.

00:43 So be careful, these weren't Pokémon cards, no.

00:46 David Lafarge, unemployed.

00:48 Actually, they were Anafuda cards, a traditional Japanese game.

00:51 The rules are, open the Guilhemets, go look on the Internet, asshole, close the Guilhemets.

00:56 You'll see, it's super nice, around a bowl of ramen, it's super racist, yes, I know.

01:00 And it's only almost a century later that Nintendo turned to video games,

01:04 thanks to Hiroshi Yamoshi, a guy who looks weirdly like a Japanese version of Stanley.

01:09 Definitely, the multiverse will never cease to surprise me.

01:12 But finally, Nintendo quickly became one of the prophets of video games,

01:16 by participating in the expansion of this new media in the whole world,

01:20 thanks to ultra-popular licenses such as Marius, Zelda, or even Nintendogs.

01:25 A game in which you'll have to take care of a cute little dog,

01:29 in order to make him participate in canine contests,

01:32 which he'll have to win in order to be deleted from your Nintendo DS

01:35 and replaced by a much more efficient dog, which you'll call Medor, by lack of imagination.

01:40 "Hey, that's not right, yes, I'll call the SPA to be cruel to animals, me, eh!"

01:44 It's pixels! Your moralizing speech has no effect on me, okay?

01:49 "No, but oh, the little bastard, did you see that? I go for two seconds to do my little manicure of the abdominal fiac,

01:54 and the guy tries to replace me, like that!"

01:56 "Yes, yes, it's good, go, follow the video, I don't have time, and I don't have a watch, in addition!"

01:59 So, Nintendo, in the space of a few years, it has accomplished a whole lot of things,

02:03 ah yes, we're not on precise information anymore, as said before, I don't have time.

02:07 And this whole lot of things allowed him to be for a long time the undisputed and uncontested master,

02:12 yes, even Sony and Microsoft ate in his hand!

02:15 Imagine Kratos the demi-god and Master Chief eating in the hand of Mario,

02:18 Mario the funny plumber, this guy supposed to fix toilets!

02:22 When the PS2 came out, Sony pulverized Nintendo,

02:25 but they didn't let it go, and reposted it with the Gamecube!

02:28 It's a purple cube, in fact, in which you put small CDs, and the controller has a tumor, in fact!

02:32 Okay, I'm not going to lie to you, they never managed to catch up with Sony after that!

02:36 Even the Nintendo DS, which is the second most sold console of all time,

02:40 did not manage to give back to the tribe its past glory!

02:42 And in our time, they just try to catch the whole world,

02:45 based on fan service, by paying special attention to always keep a generation behind on its competitors,

02:51 it's a bit of a trademark!

02:53 But still selling at a high price games such as Pokemon Arceus,

02:56 whose graphics and technique supposed to enjoy the budget of the most profitable license in the world,

03:01 would have amazed me if I had been offered it for my 12th birthday!

03:05 That is to say, 50 years ago, because yes, I am a vampire who has aged very well 2 out of 3 as we can see!

03:10 And yes, I regularly apply moisturizing cream to the extract of the blood of his dead!

03:14 Well, I already hear the pro-Nintendo trying to defend their prophet against Mahen,

03:18 like "Yes, but graphics, it's not all, yes, but it's their first open world, uh ..."

03:24 So already know that you can not do anything against my bad faith!

03:27 And anyway, I did not even test the game and I do not intend to buy it,

03:30 I just settle for shooting an ambulance that is already on fire in fact!

03:34 So please do me the pleasure to go back to hunting shinies and not break my eyes!

03:39 In addition, concretely, I have nothing against Nintendo, it's even the opposite!

03:42 If I had the means, I would get a Switch Animal Crossing edition,

03:45 as well as all their flagship products, and I'm not talking about the tower that is the sailors!

03:49 I will then say goodbye to my friends and my family,

03:52 and I will begin to live my dozens of new lives,

03:54 in which I will be both Pokémon trainer, Breath of the Wild speedrunner,

03:59 island manager on which I will impose myself dictator, or painter in the BTP!

04:03 But unfortunately, I do not have time for all that, because you see, I'm trying to build a lucrative career,

04:08 a bit like a kind of alchemist of the net,

04:11 who is trying to turn your fun time into cash!

04:14 But as at the time I wrote these lines, it is Tuesday, February 1st, 4.30 pm,

04:18 and that this video must be released on Wednesday, February 2nd, 4.30 pm,

04:21 that is in exactly 24 hours,

04:23 as much to tell you that the alchemist must go to do the editing!

04:26 Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!

04:30 So if you stayed on your hunger to go see the other videos of the chain,

04:34 do not hesitate before leaving to activate the bell and subscribe to the chain, it's fun!

04:39 A big thank you to all the tippers, one of you is my favorite of course, and see you next time!

04:43 Subscribe ! Subscribe ! Subscribe ! Subscribe ! Subscribe ! Subscribe !

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