Laurie Kilmartin: Cis Woke Grief Slut | movie | 2024 | Official Clip - video Dailymotion

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Stand-up comic and long-time Conan writer Laurie Kilmartin jokes about single motherhood, the abortion gag that got her  | dG1fZkM5LW9uWEZSdWs

Transcript

00:00 I had a terrible pandemic, guys.

00:03 I don't know if you guys did. I had a bad one.

00:05 My mom died of COVID.

00:08 Thank you, some of you gasping, "Like my mom."

00:12 [laughter]

00:15 [applause]

00:17 Come on now.

00:19 You guys all told me you like dark comedy.

00:23 I got it on tape, motherfuckers.

00:26 Here we go!

00:28 [applause]

00:31 Now, I know what happens, okay,

00:33 when I start talking about this.

00:35 Everyone thinks that they're all mom-dying for a sec, right?

00:37 And about 85% of the audience pulls away from me in horror.

00:41 But about 15% of the audience leans in.

00:46 [laughter]

00:49 They're like, "Tell these jokes and tell 'em slow."

00:53 [laughter]

00:57 My mom died early in the pandemic.

01:00 She died in June of 2020, which was shocking to me

01:04 because I'd started coughing on her back in March.

01:07 [laughter]

01:10 That's why I'm mad at Fauci.

01:13 He promised me a two-week turnaround.

01:16 [laughter]

01:19 I guess I might seem like a monster to you.

01:23 Let me defend myself.

01:26 I was my mother's caretaker, okay, for four years.

01:29 My mother lived with me for four years.

01:31 I had no privacy.

01:33 If I wanted to masturbate, I had to go outside.

01:36 [laughter]

01:38 So when I heard in March of 2020 there was a virus,

01:42 if you remember, that was only killing elderly people,

01:46 I was like, "Oh."

01:49 Even Jesus wants me to come inside.

01:52 [laughter]

01:55 [cheers and applause]

01:58 My mom was a Trump supporter who died of COVID,

02:04 so the coroner ruled her death a suicide.

02:07 [laughter]

02:10 Cause of death, her vote.

02:13 [laughter]

02:14 She died before the vaccines,

02:16 and of course that genuinely does suck.

02:19 But I do wish my mom had lived long enough

02:22 to turn down the vaccines.

02:25 [laughter]

02:28 In an epic seven-paragraph Facebook post

02:33 entitled "I've Done My Own Research."

Laurie Kilmartin: Cis Woke Grief Slut | movie | 2024 | Official Clip

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