00:00 Oh my gosh, now I'm on my own. I'm all alone.
00:04 Hi, PEPsters! This is Karen Pagsulingan-Caliwara, your host for today's edition of PEP Spotlight
00:25 with the one and only Miss Pops Fernandez! Hi, Karen! Hi! Thank you for having me.
00:33 My first question will be about your concert, which happens to be the title also of your song,
00:39 right? It's "Always Love." "Always Love." I heard it last night. It's so beautiful. Thank you.
00:45 You're one of the people who wrote the lyrics, correct? Yes. Actually,
00:52 does it mirror your current life now? Yes, I think so. When we discussed it,
00:58 Jonathan Manalo, the producer and also one of the writers of the song, the composers,
01:06 when we discussed, I told him, "Jonathan, I have not done a new song in a long time,
01:15 and I'm preparing for a concert." I said, "It's so weird. Out of nowhere, I just want to have a
01:20 concert. I want to come up with a new song, something new." He got excited. It took a while
01:30 because Jonathan was busy. Then we met. We talked. He asked, "What kind of song do you want?"
01:38 I said, "Songs are always about love." I said, "But for a change, I don't want the usual
01:48 sinusulat about love. Heartbreak, I've sung that already. Falling in love, I've sung that already.
01:55 And all sorts of love." I sang it. I said, "I want it for a change. It's for my listeners."
02:04 When they hear it, it will remind them of feeling good about themselves,
02:11 which is always love. It's about self-love, taking care of yourself. Don't be afraid
02:17 to decide on something else because it's your decision. It's you. You're always loved. In a way,
02:24 very inspirational. Even though I'm single or alone or by yourself, you have to always remind
02:33 yourself that someone up there loves you. That's why it's always loved. You're at a point in your
02:39 life when you can actually make your own choices and work at your own pace. To get to this point,
02:48 how did we prepare for it? In terms of finances?
02:54 Oh, I said, "I'm saving." Maybe because when I was young, I saw my mom's hardships. And as a kid,
03:11 I said, "Oh my God, Mama is always crying." So even as a kid, I would tell myself, "When I grow up,
03:19 I want to save, save, save, save, save. I want to earn, save, save, save, save, save." That's
03:23 what I would always tell myself. And of course, when you're young,
03:27 you don't appreciate what you're earning. When I was young, I was saving. Why? Because
03:38 when I remember my childhood days, I remember my mom crying. I said, "I don't want to do that anymore."
03:46 I don't want to go back to that. Being responsible, I have to admit, my mom kind of babied me.
03:54 She didn't want me to do that. But when it comes to work, she's okay.
04:02 Housewife chores are not allowed. Because, "Oh, you don't need to cook. Don't do that."
04:09 But when it comes to work, ever since, when I say work, I really mean it. Because my mom would get
04:19 angry. "You're late! Wake up!" She would always say that she doesn't want me to be late. And I think
04:28 it helped me a lot, because I'm always either early or on time. Even if I'm late, it's because
04:34 I don't know if there's traffic or something. I don't want someone waiting for me. I get very
04:40 angry. The responsibility and the independence came later on, when I became single again.
04:50 Because I realized, "Oh my gosh! Now I'm on my own." Before, there was support because we were
05:01 working. Now, I'm on my own. So, of course, your first thought is, "Can I do this? Can I do this?
05:13 Can I do everything?" And still take care of a lot of things, and my family, and my children,
05:19 and whatever. When you're in that situation, as long as you're not weak inside, especially
05:29 when you say, "I need to raise my children," that's when my heart gets strong. That's when I realized,
05:39 "I can do this. I can decide on my own." But of course, there's a lot of fear because I'm not used
05:49 to it. I'm always... Someone is always deciding for me, from my mom to, of course, my ex-husband.
05:56 They're the ones who decide. I was spoiled. Someone decides, right? So, when I became single,
06:03 all of a sudden, I'm not sure. There are doubts, right? "Huh? So, what do I do? Oh, wait. Can I do
06:10 that?" But that's it. Because I feel like I need to do it. I have no choice. And I'm so... I always
06:20 say the word "grateful" because I am grateful. I feel so grateful and blessed that God didn't leave me
06:27 alone. I prayed a lot. I was one of those who didn't want to cry because that's one of the things
06:34 that I'm afraid of. But God allowed it. So, I feel that when you're in a situation where you have to
06:46 save yourself, save your kids, save your family, you can do it. You can do it.
06:53 - At the time, were you able to discuss money with Martin Rivera?
07:00 After what happened or is it something... - It was just the decision of the annulment.
07:08 That was it. And then, pretty much, I was on my own. We help when it comes to the boys.
07:16 But on my own, really. I realized... I might sound so preachy, but
07:25 maybe I had to go through that for me. I always tell... Well, I tell my ex this. I think I'm
07:34 grateful because I think I had to go through it so that I can realize my other capacity and
07:41 capability. Now, I know I'm strong. Now, I know I'm independent. Now, I know I can do it.
07:50 The other day, I was so baby. Whatever. Okay. What do you want to eat? You, what do you want to eat?
07:58 That? Okay. I'm okay with everything. So, I think it had to happen to me because pops had to know
08:06 and pops had to figure out who pops really is. Maybe I am less afraid now to decide on certain
08:14 things, to try out new things.
08:17 [Music]
08:21 [BLANK_AUDIO]
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