Arzuu Ki Peshgoi, Abid Ke Mithu Ne Bhi Nikali Faal, Vikky Ne Agha Majid Ke Election Ka Kiya Bura Hal
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00:00 "Hoshiyaariyaan. Hoshiyaariyaan."
00:03 Hello, viewers. I am Haroon Rafiq and you are watching Hoshiyaariyaan.
00:07 Friends, if someone's half body is paralyzed,
00:10 and only half of it works,
00:12 then he cannot be called a healthy person.
00:14 Half of our country is made up of our mothers, sisters, daughters,
00:19 that is, women.
00:21 This is a very big part of our country.
00:24 And I think, in hindsight,
00:27 that this part of our country is not actively playing its part.
00:32 That day is far away, or at least I see it far away,
00:36 when I find out that both the muscles of my country
00:40 are working perfectly and equally.
00:43 What you are doing is a great thing.
00:46 You are educating the next generation.
00:49 But I would like to request that when it comes to the country,
00:53 the country is run by politics and politicians.
00:57 You should be aware of this.
01:00 These things should be visible on your screen,
01:03 so that you have political awareness.
01:06 You see that the men who talk,
01:09 they are very aware. You should be aware of this.
01:12 This is your responsibility.
01:14 And you have to do this. It's your duty.
01:16 God has created you as a Pakistani.
01:19 So you should play your part in this.
01:22 And don't let this country be paralyzed.
01:24 The most important thing for that is that I request
01:29 that the day there are elections in Pakistan,
01:32 you have to come out.
01:34 You have to come out and cast your vote.
01:36 Don't waste your vote.
01:38 Do cast your vote.
01:39 And be politically active and aware.
01:42 Let's start today's show with this message.
01:45 Today, we'll take you to a politician's den
01:49 and see what's happening there.
01:50 - Is everything ready? - Yes, everything is ready.
01:53 Where is Mr. Akhtar Rai?
01:55 - He's coming. - Is he inside?
01:57 Yes, he's inside. Actually, there are good reports.
02:00 - Is that why you're so happy? - Yes.
02:02 - We have to cast our vote. - Okay.
02:05 And you know, this time, the Prime Minister is going to be our boss.
02:09 How can an MPA become the Prime Minister?
02:11 - Who told you? - Who told you, sir?
02:13 Sir, if an MPA becomes the Prime Minister,
02:16 he'll go to the Assembly and make a law.
02:18 According to that law, an MPA can also become the Prime Minister.
02:21 An MPA will present a bill like this.
02:22 - Who told you this? - Who told you, sir?
02:25 Sir, I'm making people so aware.
02:28 We'll cast our votes.
02:30 And Mr. Rai will receive all the notifications.
02:33 Tell me, who told you this?
02:35 Who told you?
02:36 This is the forward message of WhatsApp that is always fake.
02:41 Who is he?
02:42 Sir, I'm the PSO of Mr. Rai.
02:44 - Is he a staff officer? - Yes, he's a staff officer.
02:45 How many staff members does he have?
02:47 His staff is...
02:48 One.
02:51 Mr. Rai is coming.
02:52 The chain of four mornings.
02:54 - Yes, sir. - Yes, sir.
02:56 Look, who is here.
02:58 Yes, sir.
03:00 "The days are going to be full of fun."
03:03 "Your colour is going to be beautiful."
03:06 "Don't die. Don't die."
03:09 "Don't die, or you'll be a sinner."
03:11 - Thank you very much. - He's so shameless.
03:13 - Oh, man. - Thank you very much.
03:15 Sir, look, he's singing the slogans.
03:16 Who told you that these are your slogans?
03:19 Who told you?
03:20 One of your slogans is very famous these days.
03:24 - Which one? - Give Akhtar to Pakistan.
03:25 - What? - That's it.
03:27 You won't be disappointed.
03:32 - You know, according to a survey... - Yes.
03:34 I've won the election by 99.9%.
03:38 - Wow. - Once again...
03:40 - Akhtar Rai. - Akhtar Rai.
03:42 We'll get our revenge.
03:44 - Akhtar Rai. - Akhtar Rai.
03:48 How do you pronounce these slogans?
03:50 Just say Akhtar Rai.
03:51 - Can I say a slogan? - Go ahead.
03:54 - "Everyone is happy." - "Who will give?"
03:57 - "Who will give?" - "Who will give?"
04:00 He's asking for his own money. You're not saying it.
04:03 Father, sit down. Let him go.
04:06 Look at him. Sit down.
04:08 Everyone, sit down.
04:10 Why are you sitting on the stairs?
04:12 The hen is not letting you touch it.
04:17 I'm not the hen. I'm the one who's letting you touch it.
04:19 Father, he's talking about the hen.
04:22 - What is he talking about? - The hen.
04:24 Uncle, sit down. The members are sitting on the chairs.
04:28 You sit here.
04:29 - Let me introduce you. - Yes.
04:31 - The government has given security. - Yes, it's a must these days.
04:34 Yes, they said that a winner has come.
04:37 He wants to become a minister.
04:38 He's sitting there so comfortably.
04:41 He's a police officer. He's my mentor's son.
04:46 He's here to give the security.
04:49 Yes, I opened it. I said, "Drink it."
04:51 Mr. Akhtar, congratulations on your advance.
04:55 - Very good. - What happened, father?
04:58 Don't you have the right to do this?
05:01 Mr. Haroon, you said that women should be politically active.
05:06 How will women remain active if there are men like him?
05:09 Oh, no.
05:10 - You don't know about this. - What don't I know?
05:13 I don't want to make the entire public proud.
05:17 - He's my son. - Okay.
05:20 How do you know?
05:22 - The public. - The public.
05:26 If someone from the public comes and tells me, I'll believe it.
05:29 Why did you call me here?
05:36 Father, praise me. I called you.
05:38 We'll find out about your fate.
05:41 A parrot will tell you about your fate.
05:44 Do you think my son is a reasonable person?
05:47 If you repeat this sentence in your mind
05:51 that a parrot will tell you about your fate,
05:53 you'll know what kind of a person you are.
05:56 I wrote it down.
05:58 'The suspect should not argue when he makes a move.'
06:01 - You wrote it down? - Yes.
06:04 He made a move. We'll find out what's going to happen.
06:08 Hold this. Give him Rs. 100.
06:10 Hold this.
06:11 - Thank you. - And a betel leaf for Rs. 100.
06:15 Come on, parrot.
06:18 He's not ready to give it.
06:20 "The suspect should not argue when he makes a move."
06:23 Come on, give me the betel leaf.
06:24 Come on. Give me the betel leaf.
06:27 - Wow! - Wow!
06:30 Very good.
06:31 Let's celebrate this happy occasion.
06:35 Wow!
06:37 - Wow! - Wow!
06:40 - Wow! - Wow!
06:43 Thank you.
06:45 You're so weak that you can't even carry a note.
06:51 Oh, God! He's been robbed.
06:54 - I'm ruined. - What did you understand from this?
06:57 He's just making us listen to his words.
07:00 He's saying that good days are yet to come.
07:02 - Celebrate the good days. - I think there's something more.
07:05 Celebrate the good days.
07:07 - And then.. - Even after getting a good tie?
07:11 - Yes. - It's a bad omen.
07:13 - Who told you? - Who told you?
07:16 Did you tell him?
07:20 I swear on my mother, I didn't tell him.
07:22 Very good, Chalo.
07:24 - Chadatta. - Thank you, father.
07:26 Son, call me father.
07:28 Call me son. I don't mind.
07:31 Come on, Totia.
07:33 Show us another act of Akhtar Rai.
07:36 Let's see what his fate is.
07:38 - What's the name of this parrot? - His name is Danish.
07:40 - I don't believe it. - Why?
07:43 He's a clean shave Danish.
07:45 - Mr. Akhtar Rai. - Yes.
07:47 - The parrot has shown you his fate. - Yes.
07:50 The good days are yet to come.
07:58 - That's it. - That's it.
08:00 - Yes. - Now it's fun.
08:02 - Father, do you agree? - I agree.
08:04 - What does it mean? - Sit down.
08:06 - It means.. - Yes.
08:08 - When I win the election.. - Yes.
08:11 - I'll go to the assembly. - Yes.
08:13 I'll sit on the front of the assembly.
08:15 Your father will take the oath first.
08:18 If I miss the oath, will you remember?
08:21 - I'll go to the assembly. - Yes.
08:24 I'll go there and sign on the roast.
08:26 - Wow! - Wow!
08:28 - That's great. - After that, I'll go to the assembly.
08:32 I'll sit on the front seat of the assembly.
08:35 - They'll make me stand on the point of order. - Wow!
08:38 I'll give a speech there.
08:40 All my enemies will be watching me.
08:43 - Oh! - Yes!
08:46 - The bet is fine. - Give me Rs. 5000.
08:48 It should be a good bet of Rs. 5000.
08:51 - I'll bet Rs. 5000. - Okay, thank you.
08:56 - Thank you. - Come on, Totia.
08:59 - Give a good bet of Rs. 5000. - Oh, cutie.
09:04 - Wow! Very good. - My dear..
09:07 Come here, my dear.
09:08 I like this sweet and gentle man.
09:12 Wow! Mr. Akhtar Rai, a bet of Rs. 5000.
09:16 Those who can't do it, do it themselves.
09:21 - Oh! - Oh!
09:24 - Oh! - Oh!
09:26 - Rai, give me Rs. 10. - Yes.
09:28 - Akhtar's slogans. - Will be heard.
09:33 - Akhtar's slogans. - Will be heard.
09:35 - Wow! Mr. Azam, you're great. - Yes.
09:36 I think they've paralyzed my skull.
09:39 It means that those who can't do it,
09:46 will do it themselves.
09:48 How can I say bad things?
09:50 We should look at both sides.
09:53 I think you didn't hear the example
09:55 that if you hit someone,
09:58 - you'll get a good beating. - Why not, sir?
10:00 I think you'll go to your mother's house after the election.
10:05 I don't thank each and every one of you.
10:09 But I thank everyone
10:14 for your hard work.
10:16 I wish that today, Akhtar Rai
10:19 - will be successful. - Yes!
10:24 And...
10:25 Don't make noise.
10:32 Akhtar Rai, at least get him a pillow.
10:36 She thinks that the scout is so stupid.
10:38 Give him all the money.
10:42 Give him such a beating
10:44 that he'll start crying.
10:45 He'll start crying.
10:47 - No one should make noise. - Okay.
10:48 Because he's sleeping.
10:50 Come on, you guys.
10:59 Let's cut the fruits of Akhtar Rai.
11:01 Wow! Cut it.
11:03 Cut it, my dear.
11:05 Wow!
11:08 Sit here and enjoy.
11:10 Akhtar Rai,
11:14 good days have come and bad days will come.
11:18 Wow!
11:20 Wait, guys. What are you doing?
11:22 - Sit down. - Start.
11:24 Wow!
11:26 - We're saved. - We're saved.
11:29 Sit down.
11:32 What's so good about this?
11:34 Why do they take money from the channels?
11:37 - Why? - What do you mean?
11:38 Good days have come for us.
11:40 And bad days will come for the opponents.
11:43 - Okay. - Yes, dad.
11:44 He's taking out his own meaning.
11:47 Dad, even Jhumi is here.
11:49 She's getting down from the car.
11:50 Yes.
11:51 - Dad. - Yes.
11:53 (Sanskrit)
11:57 (Sanskrit)
11:59 (Sanskrit)
12:03 - Yes. - And, sir.
12:04 - Yes. - Good days have come, right?
12:06 But she's asking you to bring coriander and mint.
12:10 She's asking me to do it.
12:11 (Laughs)
12:13 (Applause)
12:15 (Sanskrit)
12:19 (Sanskrit)
12:25 (Sanskrit)
12:27 (Sanskrit)
12:31 (Laughs)
12:33 (Sanskrit)
12:35 (Sanskrit)
12:37 (Laughs)
12:40 Hey!
12:41 You're always in trouble.
12:43 (Laughs)
12:44 Okay, tell me what's going to happen.
12:47 I'll tell you what's going to happen.
12:50 And then I'll tell you what's going to happen.
12:53 - Okay, hold on. My PSP. - Yes.
12:56 If you get caught, lock the main door.
12:59 (Laughs)
13:01 Sleep deeply.
13:02 Security, sleep.
13:03 (Laughs)
13:05 Yes.
13:08 I think you're a very decent man.
13:11 - What? - No, sir. He's a star.
13:14 (Laughs)
13:16 - Didn't you read today's newspaper? - No, what's in the newspaper?
13:19 The newspaper's ID is red.
13:21 The newspaper's ID is red?
13:23 (Laughs)
13:24 Speak clearly.
13:26 The news is in the newspaper.
13:28 You keep the crooks in check.
13:31 Sir, I've never done this in my life.
13:34 - Haroon, I've only one crime in life. - What's that?
13:38 (Laughs)
13:39 I'll tell you what's going to happen.
13:42 - I'll slit your throat. - I don't think so.
13:45 Sir, how would you know?
13:47 Every criminal is checked.
13:50 Every criminal is tied to a thousand.
13:52 (Laughs)
13:53 How can you search? Do you have a warrant?
13:56 Sir, I should be the first to be searched.
13:59 - I should know who the criminal is. - Yes.
14:01 I should be the first to be brought to the front line.
14:03 - That's true. - Yes.
14:05 - He should be caught. - Of course.
14:07 Do you know what this is?
14:08 This is an emergency.
14:10 (Laughs)
14:11 He always had 8-10 brunts in his pocket.
14:14 (Laughs)
14:15 Listen, you know everyone.
14:18 Where's Mafroor?
14:19 Sir, it's not like that.
14:22 You can search me whenever you want.
14:25 Hey!
14:27 Get up.
14:28 We don't give energy drinks.
14:29 Leave him. He's already dead.
14:31 (Laughs)
14:33 Get up, you crook.
14:35 Get out. Come here.
14:36 You're taking the security back.
14:38 Sir, this is the duty of the people.
14:40 He's taking the security back like his own son.
14:43 He picked him up like this.
14:45 (Laughs)
14:46 He literally picked up the security.
14:48 (Laughs)
14:50 Mr. Rahi, your name is in the newspaper.
14:52 Yes. How can I not be in the newspaper?
14:54 He's here to say that you're a bad man.
14:57 He might not even let you fight the elections.
14:59 - Oh. - Oh.
15:01 Sir, this is the enemy's trick. They call it politics.
15:03 I've made my calculations, Haroon.
15:06 And I've found out that
15:08 there's black magic on Akhtar.
15:12 What?
15:13 Do something about him.
15:15 - Sir. - He's a bad man.
15:18 Don't worry about that.
15:19 I've called Amal. He'll come and fix the black magic.
15:23 (Grunts)
15:25 Will you eat the rice pudding that I make?
15:28 I'll use my magic to do that.
15:30 First of all, congratulations. You can eat the rice pudding now.
15:33 What?
15:34 (Laughs)
15:35 I've heard that you can eat the rice pudding.
15:37 (Laughs)
15:38 I'll use all my magic.
15:40 I'll use all my magic.
15:42 Wow. Look at him.
15:43 He called me a black magician.
15:46 He called me a black magician.
15:48 (Laughs)
15:49 (Grunts)
15:50 Dad, you don't know. He's a famous magician.
15:53 - He's a magician. - No one will say anything.
15:55 Stand up, kid. Stand up.
15:58 (Grunts)
16:00 I told you to stand up. Why are you sitting?
16:03 (Laughs)
16:05 Stand up and come here, kid.
16:06 Yes, dad.
16:07 - Come here. - Okay.
16:08 This is Baba Phadla.
16:10 (Grunts)
16:11 He's a magician.
16:12 Very good.
16:14 He's a magician too.
16:16 (Laughs)
16:18 Everyone say, Baba Matloob.
16:21 - Long live. - Baba Matloob.
16:23 - Long live. - Baba Matloob.
16:25 Long live.
16:26 You're done for.
16:27 Who?
16:29 This Matloob.
16:30 His name is Matloob.
16:32 No, sir. He's Matloob.
16:33 That's what I'm saying. His name is Matloob.
16:36 - No, sir. He's right. - What?
16:38 - His name is Mirakram. - Yes.
16:39 He's Matloob.
16:41 (Laughs)
16:42 His name is Mirakram.
16:43 Yes. Then why didn't you tell us that you're a magician?
16:46 That's what I was trying to tell you. I'm Matloob.
16:49 (Laughs)
16:50 - Come on. - Okay.
16:52 Stand up and come here, kid.
16:54 I knew it.
16:58 You're a magician.
16:59 - And you're under arrest. - Yes.
17:02 He's a very bad guy.
17:03 Oh God. He's such a bad guy.
17:07 He's such a bad guy.
17:09 He's a very bad guy.
17:11 Even my cards say he's a very bad guy.
17:14 He's a very bad guy.
17:16 I'm not going to keep a sheet on my face.
17:18 He's a very bad guy.
17:20 Oh.
17:22 Mr. Rai, what will happen now?
17:24 He's a very bad guy.
17:28 (Laughs)
17:31 (Applause)
17:32 Ladies and gentlemen, we'll take a short break.
17:34 We'll meet again after the break.
17:36 "Awakening. Awakening."