Stuart Goldsmith: Like I Mean It | movie | 2019 | Official Clip - video Dailymotion

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Comedian’s Comedian Podcast host and ‘expert stand-up’ (Times) Goldsmith now commits to the bit. This year: second | dG1fVmptR2ZONS1NaFE

Transcript

00:00 I'm not an angry person.

00:02 (audience laughing)

00:04 Genuinely not.

00:05 In my life, I've had no relationship with anger really at all.

00:07 It's never been a problem for me.

00:09 But you know what it's like when you finally get a thing that you've wanted for so long.

00:14 Like, okay, last year I had a big birthday, right?

00:18 One of the two main big...

00:21 Of the two you're thinking, the higher one.

00:24 (audience laughing)

00:26 A birthday so big that my manager doesn't want me to say the number out loud on stage

00:29 because she feels it will harm my television prosperity.

00:32 (audience laughing)

00:35 As the granite temple door of that age came slamming down forever,

00:39 at the last second, I managed to roll underneath it.

00:42 Wife, baby, leather hat, yes!

00:44 (audience laughing)

00:48 But you know what it's like when you suddenly get a thing or things that you've wanted so badly,

00:53 and then you find yourself sitting alone in your car howling with impotent fury at no one.

00:59 (audience laughing)

01:03 Don't go quiet on me now.

01:05 Everyone does this and no one ever talks about it.

01:07 As a comedian, it's my job to normalise it.

01:10 I should be making sure that everyone knows that everyone does it and you're not weird.

01:13 I should be starting my show every night by going, "Hey, what's your name? Where are you from?

01:16 Where do you do your howling?"

01:17 It's important.

01:18 (audience laughing)

01:20 The first time I ever mentioned it, I was at a gig in Soho in central London,

01:23 and I was out on stage and I did a few minutes and I just stopped and I went,

01:26 "Look, I'm just going to be honest with you.

01:28 Do you know what it's like when you're sat alone in your car howling with rage?"

01:32 And they just looked at me. It was the loneliest I've ever felt on stage.

01:36 It cast a shadow of doubt across my entire emotional landscape.

01:39 (audience laughing)

01:41 Anyway, they don't have cars, so that's the...

01:43 (audience laughing)

01:45 But everyone does it and there's no role models, no one to reassure us that we all do it.

01:49 You never get Tom Cruise, right? I love Tom Cruise. I know.

01:52 (audience laughing)

01:54 I love his film work specifically.

01:56 And you never get Tom Cruise mid-action movie go, "Right, okay, you bring the truck around the front,

02:01 you get the guns and the missile launcher in the back of the trunk.

02:03 Brilliant. You put the money in the bag in case we need it later on.

02:05 You get the helicopter and you grab the rubber head and bring..."

02:08 What do you mean, which one? There's only two.

02:10 And the one the entire mission is... No, I realise...

02:12 No, I'm sorry. I wasn't clear. I know.

02:14 I'm just saying that I assumed... I made an assumption. That's my fault.

02:17 I'm just tired. I'm just tired.

02:19 I know you're tired as well. That doesn't mean I'm not also tired.

02:23 (audience laughing)

02:25 Just wait there. Wait there.

02:27 (grunting)

02:31 (grunting)

02:33 (audience laughing)

02:35 (grunting)

02:37 (grunting)

02:39 (audience laughing)

02:41 (sighing)

02:45 (audience laughing)

02:47 Absolutely fine. No, the mission was just looking a bit possible.

02:50 Let's go!

02:52 (audience laughing)

02:54 For tour dates, news, updates, whatever they are,

02:56 and the latest episodes of the Comedians Comedian podcast,

02:59 go to stuartgoldsmith.com.

03:01 (silence)

03:03 (silence)

03:05 (silence)

03:07 (silence)

03:09 [BLANK_AUDIO]

Stuart Goldsmith: Like I Mean It | movie | 2019 | Official Clip

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