00:00 (dramatic music)
00:01 If someone said to me,
00:02 would you have been able to play a straight lead
00:04 or a gay character in a romantic series?
00:07 What would feel more possible at the age of 12?
00:11 I probably would have said a straight lead.
00:13 (dramatic music)
00:15 (dramatic music)
00:18 The circumstances I grew up in,
00:33 I was in this industry at a time that was very repressive
00:35 and it was very hard to be an openly gay person.
00:38 As a matter of fact, it could cost you your career.
00:40 I moved to New York in the early 1980s
00:43 and there was this thing called AIDS that hit.
00:46 Although we were watching people die around us,
00:49 we still managed to fall in love
00:51 and it was like very confusing.
00:53 I grew up during the 70s and the 80s.
00:55 Being in those hospital rooms,
00:57 there's many days on set that I can stay for one or two takes
01:00 but then I have to walk away
01:01 because the performances are so extraordinary.
01:05 Everything that Marcus faces in terms of racism, homophobia,
01:10 I've experienced since the day I was born.
01:12 I never had anyone to talk to about my feelings
01:16 of being a gay young man, a gay athlete.
01:20 You know, in the 70s, we talked about anything else.
01:22 You couldn't speak about being homosexual.
01:25 It was so hard.
01:27 I carry around with me every day
01:29 that I am a man of color living with a queer experience.
01:33 I've been so fortunate to also be on this new bubble
01:37 where people are open and accepting.
01:39 (dramatic music)
01:43 I thought I knew a great deal of our history
01:45 and I realized that my understanding of LGBTQIA+ history
01:49 really began at Stonewall.
01:51 I didn't know what was going on before that.
01:54 I was surprised at the level
01:55 by which people had to homogenize themselves
01:57 in order to survive.
01:58 The amount of cover that these characters had to have
02:02 to protect themselves was vital.
02:05 Throughout history and even today,
02:07 it really is its own act of protest to just be yourself.
02:11 So it was very interesting for me to jump back
02:14 another decade and see really what led up to Stonewall.
02:18 (dramatic music)
02:20 As a gay man, I felt like I've been hunting
02:24 and sniffing this out for so long.
02:28 When I was coming of age, I wasn't like,
02:30 "Oh, let's go to the movies
02:31 'cause maybe I'll see a gay character."
02:33 That was not even in the realm of possibility.
02:35 I felt an affinity with Tim's character
02:37 because I really understood what it's like
02:40 to grow up Catholic and to have a secret like that.
02:43 I think the first time that I became emotional about,
02:47 you know, seeing myself on television
02:49 was the Dawson's Creek kiss.
02:51 I think I was 13 or 14 years old
02:53 and there was a movie that came on television
02:55 called "An Early Frost."
02:56 I remember reading the story and it was like
02:58 the first time I saw King T'Challa in "Black Panther."
03:01 When I was younger, I didn't ever know
03:03 if I'd like have a love story or know what that felt like.
03:06 These are the stories of the men who came before us,
03:10 who have created the pathway
03:12 for us to be making this TV show.
03:15 If you look back through queer history,
03:17 it is the queens of color that have actually been responsible
03:20 for creating real and lasting change
03:22 and having audiences see that.
03:24 And the first time in a real way is gonna be so exciting.
03:27 I think it's very important.
03:28 Oh, blame me.
03:34 There's a lot of things I wanna tell in this.
03:36 (laughing)
03:37 Live authentically, no matter the consequences.
03:40 There are so many people like you that are feeling this,
03:43 that are just as isolated.
03:44 Thank you for being daring
03:46 and taking the dive into who you are.
03:49 It's gonna be okay.
03:50 You don't have to be so hard on yourself.
03:52 It's easy to despair because things are dark,
04:00 but the only point to be in this struggle
04:03 is to find the joy.
04:04 (gentle music)
04:07 (gentle music)
04:10 (gentle music)
04:12 (gentle music)
04:15 [BLANK_AUDIO]
Comments