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  • 3 years ago
Memorably unmemorable clashes that put smiles on faces but forgot all about the heels...

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00:00 I, Simon Miller, love nonsense.
00:02 I actually have a t-shirt that I wear sometimes that says "Goofy Wrestling For Life" and
00:06 this ain't no saying, I totally mean it.
00:09 WWE has always embraced such things too, even when they don't mean to.
00:14 Because sometimes they put on matches and everyone looks around like "what the flub
00:19 is going on?"
00:20 So please do hit that subscribe button and prepare yourself, because this is the 10 most
00:24 absurd forgotten WWE matches.
00:27 10. John Cena vs Shinsuke Nakamura
00:30 With the winner getting Jinder Mahal.
00:33 Even though John Cena had basically done it all in WWE when 2017 rolled around, when we
00:38 learned that he could face someone like Shinsuke Nakamura, we all started to do the dance of
00:43 joy.
00:44 Because in many ways, this was like a dream fight.
00:46 You could even spin it as WWE's most important performer of the generation taking on one
00:50 of New Japan's, which is why it was hilarious, when they did clash, whoever was victorious
00:56 was going to take on Jinder Mahal.
00:58 Now I get that sounds like a swipe at Jinder too, but I do not mean that in any sense.
01:03 It was just so strange, because the week prior, Mahal had basically just been an opening dude,
01:09 and now he was the WWE Champion and no one had been given time to catch up.
01:13 So basically everyone was asking, well how the hell did he get into this position, and
01:18 I'm still a bit salty, that at that year's Survivor Series, we were supposed to get Mahal
01:23 vs Brock Lesnar, but The Beast didn't want to do it.
01:27 Or he went and hindered Jinder.
01:29 9.
01:30 Umaga, Viscera and Kevin Thorn vs Doink The Clown, Eugene and Kane
01:36 What the hell was going on in the mid 2000s when it came to WWE, and who the hell came
01:42 up with this fever dream?
01:43 For some reason though, the WWE did decide, well we are about to relaunch Saturday Night's
01:47 Main Event, we need a match, so they put these six people against each other.
01:53 And once again you have to ask yourself, why was Doink The Clown still around in 2007,
01:59 and if he could appear there, where is he now?
02:01 It was around the same time that WWE also booked Matt Hardy vs Evander Holyfield in
02:06 a boxing match, which kind of sums up the era.
02:09 And if you do care, this ended when the Big Red Machine chokeslammed Viscera, and given
02:14 how big Visc was, he took it pretty well.
02:17 It's just so strange to watch though, because none of these people, aside from maybe Umaga
02:21 and Kane, were treated seriously at all.
02:25 So you lay there, and you kind of start freaking out.
02:27 8.
02:28 Bret Hart vs The Undertaker
02:29 No we are not talking about their 1997 series, which was totally awesome.
02:34 We are actually talking about 2010, after Bret Hart had come back to the company and
02:40 definitely shouldn't have been put in matches like this.
02:42 Existing to help move forward the Nexus storyline, obviously as soon as people found out about
02:47 it they were super-duper pumped.
02:50 Before the bell even rang, here was Wade Barrett's crew and they basically just beat up The Undertaker
02:56 until Kane made the save.
02:59 And if you're wondering where the Hitman went during all of this, we're never going to know,
03:03 because he just vanished.
03:04 Now this was of course because of Bret's condition and nobody should have been touching him,
03:09 but surprise surprise, everybody went boo after this did go down.
03:14 Because deep down in your tum tum, of course you want to see Bret vs Taker, it was always
03:19 brilliant.
03:20 7.
03:21 Bret Hart vs The Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels
03:23 These days triple threat matches are everywhere and they're more of a storytelling device
03:27 than anywhere else, but back in 1997 they got a bit of a woo-har out of people.
03:33 If you can believe it too, we did have one of these one month before the Montreal Screwjob,
03:38 where indeed it was Bret Hart taking on Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker.
03:42 And if you're wondering why people don't make a bigger song and dance about this, it's because
03:46 it happened when the cameras were off so it doesn't count and it actually ended when Bret
03:51 Hart pinned Shawn.
03:52 That's a different conversation for a different day.
03:55 As you would expect too, it was a really fun brawl and WWE started to use the finish that
04:00 they would use for the next 30 years.
04:02 Because after the Deadman has hit the tombstone and Triple H has pulled him out of the ring,
04:06 the Hitman was like, alright, if he's down I'll just steal the pin and he was successful
04:11 at that.
04:12 So it's no wonder that feels really old, because it's been going on for decades.
04:16 But seriously, you should check this out.
04:18 Your eyes won't believe it.
04:20 6.
04:21 The Legion Of Doom vs. Money Inc.
04:22 If you're not used to old school wrestling this will blow your brain, but back in 1992
04:27 the Legion of Doom were the tag team champions, but sadly they were going to have to take
04:31 a sabbatical, mostly due to Hawk's personal problems.
04:35 Vince McMahon was the person that informed them of this and said, look, why don't you
04:38 just drop the titles or give them up and then you can walk away.
04:41 But the LOD decided, no, we don't want to do that, we think that makes us look weak.
04:47 So they came up with this instead.
04:49 For you see, given that Money Inc. were the brand new Hill tag team, that of Ted DiBiase
04:53 and IRS, and we had a house show in Colorado, Animal and Hawk were more than willing to
04:58 drop the titles there, as long as Earthquake and Typhoon as well as Secessional Sherry
05:03 interfered.
05:04 This did indeed happen, meaning Money Inc. became the brand new tag team champions, but
05:08 at the same time the natural disasters turned face, because now we needed a new match to
05:12 WrestleMania and of course the Legion of Doom wasn't going to be here.
05:15 And all of this didn't happen on TV.
05:18 So if you tuned into the show next week, it was like, what the hell is going on?
05:22 There was also another sub story in the sense that Jimmy Hart turned his back on everyone
05:26 here to join up with this brand new pairing that had a bunch of money.
05:30 All of it was just so damn confusing.
05:34 LOD should have just given up the belts.
05:36 Number 5 - Jeff Hardy and Bradshaw vs. Farouk and Matt Hardy
05:39 In 2001 Vince McMahon was out of control, not only did we have all that stuff with Trish
05:44 Stratus, but we also had a story where Linda McMahon was in a wheelchair because she had
05:50 been comatose.
05:52 Some tradition still did remain though, especially when it came to the Royal Rumble and the tag
05:55 line "It's every man for himself" which is why we took two separate tag teams and
06:01 broke them up.
06:02 It was kind of cool, because when Matt and Jeff went at it they turned back the clock
06:05 and also said "this is a window into what wrestling will be in the future" and when
06:10 Bradshaw and Farouk were in there, they absolutely kicked each other's ass.
06:14 This is why it was so funny though, because even though they'd been putting this thing
06:17 against their will, they still decided to take it really seriously.
06:22 Good for them.
06:23 It all changed at the end because it turned out the Hardys were still inca hoops and Jeff
06:26 helped Matt win, but then you were like, you're an idiot Jeff, because in the record books
06:32 it's still going to say that you lost.
06:33 This is why it was absolutely absurd, but actually fair play to everyone in this, because
06:38 they didn't play it for laughs and told you you should care, that feeling and emotion
06:42 came out the TV and lo and behold, we gave a damn.
06:47 4.
06:48 Johnny Gargano vs. Dexter Lumis in a Love Her or Lose Her Match
06:51 I mean the clue is in the title, and imagine if this happened in the real world.
06:56 But in August 2021 down in NXT, a consenting adult was told "listen, I know you're in
07:02 a relationship with Dexter Lumis, but he's going into a match and if he doesn't do very
07:07 well you guys gotta break up."
07:09 Now I actually struggle to say this with a straight face because it is absolutely ludicrous
07:13 and of course the damsel was Indi Hartwell.
07:17 The best part about this is Dexter did lose and then Indi Hartwell went "well I don't
07:22 care, I'm going to stay with him" and so she just did.
07:25 It is only fair to say that the story was actually really good and some of the best
07:28 stuff these two got up to, but it was also a waste of your time and a waste of your life.
07:34 It's like me saying to you now, if you run in this door I will give you $1 million and
07:39 you run in, I just turn to you and go "nah, can't be bothered."
07:42 3.
07:43 Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder and John Cena vs. The Miz, R-Truth and Kevin Nash
07:48 And Mick Foley was a special guest referee, it's like Reddit booking.
07:52 Even better this went down in the UK during their 2011 tour where I think somebody decided
07:58 we need to inject some fun into this situation.
08:02 The real joy is that it started off as just Ryder and Kofi taking on The Awesome Truth,
08:06 when all of a sudden Foley's music hit and he just walked out and was like "oh hello
08:10 Great Britain, I fancy being a referee, alright".
08:14 Miz and Truth didn't like this at all because they felt like it was another conspiracy,
08:18 so they had an ace up their sleeve when all of a sudden they introduced Kevin Nash and
08:23 you can imagine the reaction to that.
08:25 Turns out this was just a game of one-upmanship with the babyfaces having the final say, because
08:30 they then said welcome to John Cena and once again everyone went crazy.
08:34 Given this was a house show as well it meant the rules didn't apply so everybody just
08:38 went out there to have some fun and if you were a part of this you know it felt like
08:43 a happening.
08:44 Mostly it was a nice reminder that when WWE wants to have fun they can have fun, those
08:49 three letters F-U-N are the most important part about sports entertainment.
08:54 2.
08:55 Chris Jericho, John Cena, Mark Henry, The Big Show and Roman Reigns vs. The Authority
09:01 and The Wyatt Family.
09:02 I mean this happened on Smackdown, what a crazy time it was.
09:05 And look at the teams too, because it did mean you had Seth Rollins and Corporate Kane
09:10 wearing his trousers, teaming up with Bray Wyatt, Eric Rowan and Luke Harper and even
09:15 looking at that you're like "nah, I don't think that works".
09:18 On the other end of the ring too we had John Cena who was just coming off his massive beating
09:22 by Brock Lesnar at Summerslam, that's The Big Show and Mark Henry, well they weren't
09:28 doing much of anything.
09:29 Clearly WWE didn't think this was anything big either because they didn't advertise
09:33 it and once again if you sat down to watch the 3rd of September 2014 Smackdown it was
09:39 just there even though it was pumped with star power.
09:42 It didn't have any fallout either so we just did it because we felt like we should
09:46 do it.
09:47 And the real shame is this when you can start to see the wheels coming off The Wyatt Family.
09:51 I don't think WWE ever knew what they should do.
09:54 Number 1 - The Street Profits and The Viking Raiders vs Tozawa and a bunch of ninjas.
10:00 All you need to do is listen to that title again and you will remember why the pandemic
10:05 era was nuts.
10:06 I mean it's bad enough that it's down in the Performance Center, I can't handle
10:11 these matches now, but you also have to ask the question, why is Tozawa a ninja, where
10:16 did he get these other ninjas and why the hell are ninjas in wrestling to begin with?
10:20 They also get absolutely wrecked by the Street Profits and the Viking Raiders.
10:23 And this is so stereotypical you'll think you've transported yourself back to 1985.
10:28 Nobody remembers this for obvious reasons and it's never been explained, which also
10:32 goes for that match where the Street Profits took on the Viking Raiders and it ended when
10:38 they were chased away by a monster.
10:41 I'm not making that up, it actually happened, you can google it, but take it from me, don't.
10:47 Please do leave a comment below and let me know of any absurd matches that we don't
10:50 talk about anymore, and secretly these are the best wrestling matches.
10:54 Then please do like the video, share the video and subscribe.
10:56 There's also a video on the screen right now so give it a click.
10:59 Come follow us on social media @OneCultureWWE and @SimonMiller316 and if you'd like to
11:04 check out the website, I think you should.
11:07 Thank you for joining me as always, you're good good people, see you soon.
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