10 Most Unreliable Video Game Companions Ever
Sometimes it feels like it'd be much easier to go it alone...
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00:00 When the odds are stacked against you in a video game,
00:02 you really want somebody reliable in your corner,
00:05 someone to carry your burdens, even the score,
00:07 and help you live another day.
00:09 For every Marcus, there's a Dom,
00:10 for every Ratchet, his clank.
00:12 Sadly though, not every pairing
00:14 shares that special connection.
00:16 Players need someone who's got their back in a firefight,
00:19 not standing in front of them playing catch-eat-shop
00:21 with their face.
00:22 Whether it be down to some misread programming
00:25 or just good intentions gone wrong,
00:27 companions can sometimes be more hindrance than help.
00:30 I'm Jess from WhatCulture,
00:31 and here are the 10 most unreliable
00:33 video game companions ever.
00:35 Number 10, Aery, Bravely Default.
00:39 Fairies or some kind of pixie companion
00:41 that joins you on your journey
00:43 feel like part of the framework for a lot of Eastern RPGs.
00:46 I could list examples,
00:47 but chances are you've already thought of one.
00:50 You know, the annoying squeaky voice companions
00:52 that get more insufferable as time goes on,
00:54 much like Navi from Ocarina of Time.
00:57 When it comes to Aery from 3DS hit Bravely Default, however,
01:01 she's not just an unreliable companion,
01:03 she's also an unreliable narrator.
01:06 In short, the fairy guides players
01:08 to light crystal pillars throughout the land,
01:10 apparently saving the world.
01:12 Yet this creates a sort of parallel world/time loop scenario
01:17 bringing you no closer to saving the proverbial day.
01:20 Across the parallel worlds and as time goes on,
01:23 characters will start to hint
01:25 that the little fairy may not be all she appears,
01:28 which becomes apparent when our heroes break the cycle
01:31 and a crystal halting the schemes of Aery's master, Ouroboros.
01:35 She's far from a sweet and innocent fairy when that happens,
01:38 revealing her true nature in shocking form.
01:41 Even the title screen alludes to this deception
01:44 as time goes on, if players aren't getting it.
01:46 Number nine, Any Survivor, Dead Rising.
01:50 Frank West may have covered wars, you know,
01:52 but nothing could prepare him for this.
01:54 Not the zombie outbreak,
01:55 he handles that quite well, surprisingly.
01:57 No, I refer to the arduous task of making sure
02:00 that people that he rescues
02:02 actually make it to the rescue point.
02:04 Now, it'd be fair to think that someone in need of rescuing
02:07 would adhere to their savior and follow their commands.
02:10 All right, some disarray and panic may ensue,
02:13 yet in Dead Rising, where Frank can yell, "Follow me,"
02:16 and some will indeed follow, not all will,
02:19 some players might think, "Right, let's arm them,
02:21 "give them a fighting chance," whilst they follow Frank.
02:24 Turns out that's an even worse idea,
02:26 as for some reason, a plank of wood
02:28 turns them into a would-be cone in The Barbarian.
02:31 Weird about the self-preservation instinct of a lemming.
02:34 Like unsupervised kids in a playpen,
02:36 taking your eyes off what a survivor's doing is lethal.
02:39 Lose that focus and you'll be seeing,
02:41 "Sophie has died," before you know it.
02:44 At least the Pied Piper had it easy,
02:46 the rats didn't mutiny or refuse to follow him
02:48 to a parent's safety.
02:50 Number eight, Tales, Sonic 3/Sonic & Knuckles.
02:54 In terms of companionship throughout the ages,
02:56 Tales has proven most of his worth behind the scenes.
03:00 The two-tailed tinkerer of a fox has helped Sonic
03:02 and friends with aircrafts and ingenuity.
03:05 It's when he's in the fray
03:07 that he becomes a right little (beep).
03:09 Sonic the Hedgehog games are largely
03:11 about precision platforming,
03:13 not to the controller-crushing degree of Super Meat Boy,
03:16 but it can be tricky enough in places that demand attention.
03:19 So imagine the dismay on players' faces
03:21 when you're soaring through the air,
03:23 having nailed the timing,
03:24 and Tales plucks you out of thin air
03:26 in a vain attempt at helping.
03:28 It kills the trajectory of the jump,
03:30 and if you try to jump again,
03:31 you may end up plummeting to your death.
03:33 There's also the occasions when the AI fox
03:36 hits a switch at the wrong time,
03:37 resulting in a hedgehog pancake
03:39 because Tales has gone on without you.
03:41 When a friend is playing,
03:42 it's not so bad as you can coordinate,
03:44 but much like another example later on,
03:47 when the AI is in charge, all logic goes out the window.
03:50 Stick to aircrafts and tinkering, Tales.
03:53 Number seven, Dogmeat, Fallout 4.
03:56 Dogs are generally considered to be man's best friend.
03:59 You've got unwavering loyalty, a constant companion.
04:02 You can't fault them.
04:04 You can fault their digital counterparts, though,
04:06 when they cause players to die umpteen times.
04:09 Dogmeat, the stray that the player adopts early on
04:12 in Fallout 4, is a prime example of this,
04:15 prioritizing willful obedience
04:17 over something as integral as longevity.
04:20 You can't blame him, really.
04:21 He's not gonna know the difference
04:22 between loyalty and suicidal tendencies, is he?
04:25 At least that's the only reason I can think of
04:27 as to why he'll charge into proximity mines
04:30 if you accidentally direct him that way,
04:32 or while he'll wander into your line of fire/explosion
04:35 in a valiant effort to defend you.
04:38 Good thing there's no morality meter in this game,
04:40 or players would seem like right bastards.
04:42 It's not the end of the world
04:43 if Dogmeat does catch some friendly fire
04:46 or accidental blast radius.
04:47 It's just a constant pain in the butt
04:49 for players who have to wait until the battle is over
04:51 to go pick his little fuzzy butt up.
04:54 Immortal?
04:55 Maybe.
04:55 Annoying?
04:56 Absolutely.
04:57 Number six, Trip, "Enslaved, Odyssey to the West."
05:01 In this loose adaptation of the Chinese fable,
05:04 the relationship between Tripitaka and Monkey
05:06 is already strained from the start.
05:08 Well, putting an explosive proximity-controlled device
05:11 on someone and enslaving them tends to do that.
05:14 But as the unlikely pair start to bond,
05:17 Trip trusts Monkey to do the grunt work
05:19 and scout out safe passage.
05:21 Which is fine, except for when she decides not to follow
05:23 and Monkey goes one step too far and explodes.
05:26 It breaks the flow of the gameplay
05:28 when players want to push forward
05:29 and the fickle Tripitaka decides she won't climb that ledge
05:33 and sets off the proximity popper on Monkey's braincase.
05:36 Or when players are off exploring
05:38 when the game allows some extra length,
05:40 only to be cut short by Trip startling some enemies
05:42 and getting herself kidnapped and taken out of range.
05:45 Sure, there are times when the game calls for it,
05:48 but at other times, it's a right pain
05:50 when your companion literally brings your progress
05:52 to a halt.
05:53 Why Monkey doesn't just carry her and chuck her in a bush
05:56 when he needs to fight is beyond me.
05:58 Number five, Maria, "Silent Hill 2."
06:01 When it comes to survival horror,
06:03 it's usually hard enough trying to keep the protagonist
06:05 from meeting a terrible fate, let alone somebody else.
06:09 If they can handle themselves,
06:10 then it's the more the merrier.
06:11 But as you probably gathered from this list so far,
06:14 it's not really the case here.
06:16 James Sunderland is already having a right time of it
06:19 in "Silent Hill" already.
06:20 You know, what with that whole "Letter from a Dead Wife,"
06:22 geometric-headed, relentless fiend
06:24 and pursuit shtick going on.
06:26 What he doesn't need is a survivor
06:28 with a death wish bigger than James' guilt complex.
06:31 That'll make sense if he finished it.
06:33 Escort missions are a burden most of the time anyway,
06:35 but this one goes the extra mile.
06:37 Should Maria take too much damage
06:39 from either James or the manifestations
06:41 that the titular town has conjured up,
06:43 it can and will affect an ending,
06:46 which wouldn't be so bad
06:47 if Maria didn't have an obnoxious habit
06:49 of getting right in the way
06:50 of James' flailing about in a fight.
06:53 In a game like this with such sticky combat,
06:55 it can be an extra contrivance to keep an eye on her.
06:58 Number four, "Yung," Tom Clancy's "Rainbow Six, Vegas 2."
07:02 In the world of highly trained special operatives
07:05 sent into dangerous locales and volatile situations,
07:08 you can expect your team to work as a well-oiled machine.
07:12 But all that it takes is one loose cog to disrupt that flow,
07:15 and that's where "Yung Park" comes in.
07:17 When your team works well in the "R6 Vegas" games,
07:20 it's great.
07:21 The level of precision and tactics required
07:23 to clear missions room by room
07:24 is some of the slickest around for its time.
07:27 But keeping the protagonist alive
07:29 isn't the player's only concern.
07:31 They have to look after their team too.
07:33 Your other companion, Walker, is self-sufficient
07:36 and has the common sense to not get shot much.
07:39 Not Yung, though, no, no.
07:41 Take your eye off him, though,
07:42 or leave him to what you'd think
07:44 is taking out the enemy shooting at him,
07:45 and you'll hear "Yung down" more often than you'd like to,
07:49 which is a good dozen more times than necessary.
07:51 What makes it worse is if players have to risk themselves
07:55 to pick the daft spot back up again, repeatedly.
07:58 Seriously, Yung could incapacitate himself
08:00 in a room with a folding chair if you left him there.
08:03 Number three, "Shiva," "Resident Evil 5."
08:06 Ashley Graham gets a load of flack in "Resi 4,"
08:09 what with the annoying voice and the kidnaps,
08:11 but that could be tolerated, mostly.
08:14 What she didn't do, however,
08:15 was waste all of your precious ammo
08:17 and healing items at every opportunity.
08:19 No, that honor goes to Shiva Alamar,
08:22 BSAA agent, Chris Redfield's partner,
08:25 and all-round inconvenience when being handled by the AI.
08:29 In human-controlled co-op,
08:30 it's amazing to have another helping hand.
08:32 It's when she's controlled by the AI
08:34 that we run into problems.
08:36 Normally, you'd think rationing out the firepower
08:38 accordingly would be fair, and it would,
08:40 but Shiva doesn't do normal.
08:42 She'll waste a few magnum rounds on a standard enemy
08:45 rather than the surplus handgun ammo she's carrying.
08:48 But worse than wasting ammo
08:50 is wasting your high-strength healing items instead.
08:53 For example, if Chris takes a tiny bump
08:55 or throwing axe to the head,
08:57 that's nothing a little green herb can't fix.
08:59 Yet if Shiva's got a full health-filling
09:01 first-aid spray in her hands, she won't hesitate to use it.
09:04 You literally have to run away and heal
09:07 quicker than it takes your AI partner to catch up to you,
09:10 which is worrying when there are bigger threats in the game.
09:13 Number two, Natalia, Goldeneye.
09:16 In Pierce Brosnan's first outing in "Goldeneye,"
09:18 Natalia Simonova broke away from the Bond girl trope.
09:21 Well, a bit.
09:22 She still becomes a love interest by the end,
09:24 but for the majority is a savvy foil to Brosnan's Bond.
09:28 A survivor throughout, Natalia becomes integral
09:30 to the spy's plan to thwart Trevelyan
09:32 and the titular weaponized satellite device.
09:35 In the video game tie-in on Nintendo 64, however,
09:38 that logic didn't carry over.
09:40 Rather than accepting that she's not a battle-trained agent,
09:43 the polygonal counterpart would do her best
09:46 to eat every bullet.
09:47 It's almost like she took national patriotism too far,
09:51 taking the bullet for each of her fellow countrymen
09:53 over this English pig dog killing them all.
09:55 Or at least that's what it felt like,
09:57 as you attempt to clear the room of enemies
09:59 intent on killing you both.
10:01 You had to pick your shots carefully
10:02 on these escort missions,
10:04 as Natalia has an annoying habit
10:06 of running in the way of fire,
10:07 friendly or otherwise.
10:09 It wasn't at all uncommon to see the words,
10:12 Natalia has died, which is pretty darn frustrating
10:15 when you are all the way at the end of the mission.
10:17 Number one, Roach.
10:19 The Witcher 3, The Wild Hunt.
10:21 When you start a Witcher game,
10:22 it may seem odd that Geralt has a disconnect
10:24 with his horses.
10:25 Calling each one Roach, our hero seems to bear
10:28 no significant attachment to his mares,
10:30 unlike say Wanda from Shadow of the Colossus.
10:33 Then as you come out of a tavern
10:35 and find your horse atop the adjacent roof,
10:37 you begin to see why.
10:39 I'm personally playing through The Witcher 3 right now
10:41 for the very first time,
10:42 and whilst I appreciate Roach
10:44 and I think she's gotten a lot better,
10:46 boy does this horse love to jam itself on a small fence
10:49 midway through a really important race.
10:51 Whilst it's unreasonable to expect your horse
10:54 to stick to you every step of the way,
10:56 when you summon them and they're in what seems like
10:58 the next county, it can be a pain to wait.
11:01 Or better still, when a player summons their trusty steed
11:03 and finds her stuck on a branch or a fence post,
11:06 or something that may not even be real,
11:08 yet still enough to hinder them from coming to you.
11:11 Over time, set up right, Red did fix up some bits and pieces
11:14 with Roach's AI, but not all of them.
11:17 Plenty of players like me are still finding frustration
11:19 with her puzzling programming.
11:21 Whilst the world of Temeria and the bordering lands
11:24 is beautiful to take in,
11:25 when your horse decides that it wants to be a scaffolder
11:28 when you summon it, it somewhat ruins the illusion.
11:31 That's the end of our list of the most unreliable
11:33 video game companions ever,
11:35 but if you can think of any more,
11:36 be sure to write them in that comment section below.
11:39 As always, I've been Jess from WhatCulture.
11:42 Thank you so much for hanging out with me.
11:44 If you like, you can come say hi to me on my Twitter account
11:46 where I'm @JessMcDonald,
11:48 but make sure you stay tuned to us here
11:49 for plenty more great gaming content.