10 Things DC Comics Wants You To Forget About The Flash

WhatCulture

The Fastest Man Alive! Except when he's a turtle. Or really fat.

Transcript

00:00 The Flash, the Scarlet Speedster, the Crimson Comet...Bazza.

00:04 Whatever you call this red streak, it's always been a relative second stringer for DC Comics.

00:08 Whilst the trinity of Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman - aka Rich Dude, Bondage Girl,

00:12 and I Can Do Anything Better Than You Can - have always been the tentpoles that hold

00:16 up the entire publisher.

00:17 Things are changing, though, with the likes of Green Arrow and the subsequently mentioned

00:20 Fast Man getting TV shows which help push their second-tier characters up to the main

00:24 stage.

00:25 And with his own movie in the works, the Flash seems poised to make a grab for Olympic gold.

00:29 But as a new audience turns their head to watch these super-peeps, there are many - like

00:32 myself - who notice how DC skim over a lot of the more questionable Flash moments, in

00:36 their efforts to make a man who runs really fast, really, really cool.

00:39 Well, DC, I'm here to expose you.

00:42 Why should you be the only one allowed to have skeletons in their closets?

00:44 I certainly wasn't, now my storage spaces are boneless and I'm not gonna let you have

00:48 all the fun.

00:49 With this in mind, I'm Jules for WhatCulture.com, and here are 10 Things DC Wants You To Forget

00:53 About The Flash.

00:54 10.

00:55 Jay Garrick Getting His Superpowers From Heavy Water

00:57 Barry Allen is probably the best-known Flash, owing to his making the character popular

01:01 during his time in the costume, and will be the character people will get to love or loathe

01:04 in the upcoming film.

01:05 But he wasn't the first act as DC's Red Runner.

01:08 Nope, that one was Jay Garrick.

01:10 Debuting in 1940s Flash Comics #1, Garrick had all the hallmarks of future Flashes - the

01:15 powers, the average personality, and a red shirt.

01:18 It was even revealed that Barry Allen read Jay Garrick's adventures in comic books,

01:21 basing his own costume and taking his superhero name from him.

01:23 But Garrick will be best remembered for his origin story.

01:26 You see, Jay Garrick got his super-fast footwork from inhaling hard water vapors during a cigarette

01:30 break.

01:31 Now, I'm no scientist, but that makes about as much sense as me getting the power of super

01:34 strength from molesting dogs.

01:35 9.

01:36 A Lot of His Terrible Villains

01:38 Some have compared the Flash's rogue gallery to that of Batman.

01:41 Heh, those people are idiots who forget that the Flash fought a man called Top who fought

01:44 like a goddamn dreidel and that his power was that he spun around really fast.

01:47 He also fought the Golden Glider, whose power was that he used ice skates.

01:51 Seriously, he fought the f---ing Pied Piper of Hamlet, for Christ's sake.

01:54 Best rogues gallery since Batman.

01:56 Are you off your nut?

01:57 8.

01:58 All of His Smallville Appearances

01:59 Long before the charmingly baby-faced butter-wouldn't-melt-in-his-bum-hole Grant Gustin graced our screens, the Flash

02:04 has appeared on TV in a multitude of guises.

02:07 He appeared in the very cheesy superhero sitcom Special Legends of the Superheroes, the Justice

02:11 League TV film, and, more recently, in Smallville.

02:14 You know, the teen's hope that he was meant to be Superman in the early days and then

02:17 got so fast and impatient exploring Clark Kent's high school days that they just jumped

02:20 ahead to introduce tons of characters and concepts which aren't meant to be here until

02:22 he puts on the tights?

02:24 Flash-o.

02:25 The Flash actually appeared multiple times in this.

02:27 Bart Allen, a self-centered brat who challenges Clark Kent to a race, robs people, and has

02:31 multiple phony IDs which use the names Barry Allen, Wally West, and Jay Garrick.

02:35 Ha ha, oh, my eyes done see what you did.

02:38 Not exactly a hero by any means, and when you see him get arrested in season 9, not

02:42 very super either.

02:43 7.

02:44 The Existence of Bizarro Flash

02:46 Bizarro is a great character.

02:48 In Bizarro World, I of course am kidding as I personally hate his existence.

02:52 But goody for me, The Flash gets one too.

02:55 Created when the original Bizarro attempted to clone The Flash, Bizarro Flash originally

02:58 had a mallet symbol, but that's since been replaced by a thunderbolt-shaped mustard stain.

03:02 He's a clumsy oaf who moves really slowly.

03:04 The fattest man alive.

03:06 The opposite of The Flash.

03:08 See?

03:09 Get it?

03:10 Don't you get it?

03:11 'Cause it's funny, because he's less a superhero now and more the people that are actually

03:13 reading the comics.

03:14 Ha ha ha ha ha.

03:15 What do you mean, comic sales are going down?

03:17 6.

03:18 Whether Superman or The Flash is faster

03:19 Su-Superman.

03:21 The answer is Superman.

03:22 He can do anything, and if he can't then the writers just make it so that he can.

03:25 I-I-I hate Superman.

03:27 He's just too good.

03:29 So when people are like, "Who's the fastest?

03:31 Supes or the Pink Pega?"

03:32 The answer is, obviously, Superman.

03:34 The fuchsia foot worker and the man of steel had their first race in 1967, with a rematch

03:38 a couple of years later, both of which Superman won.

03:41 Following Crisis on Infinite Earths, they challenged each other again, and The Flash

03:44 finally triumphs, but only with the rationale that Superman is actually more accustomed

03:48 to flying really fast than sprinting.

03:51 Since then, The Flash has been illustrated as being way faster than Superman, but has

03:54 subsequently still lost to him time and time again.

03:56 Just-just come on, DC.

03:58 Give the man whose ability you've made as being the fastest thing alive beats your oh-so-perfect

04:02 man-mountain.

04:03 5.

04:04 The 90s TV Show

04:06 The Flash TV show that younglings and fans enjoy nowadays is a charismatic affair.

04:10 Light-hearted but still deep enough to stand out from all of the other over-the-top explosion-laden

04:14 affairs.

04:15 But it's not the first time that The Flash has sprinted on the smaller screen.

04:18 Set in the '90s, this show was so hokey, so lacking in production values, and so underwhelming

04:23 that it was only recently released on DVD, and without much fanfare, I should add.

04:27 Like most '90s versions, it is as an offering without much grit and can end up feeling extremely

04:32 silly.

04:33 Not that a show about a man who legs it around at the speed of sound isn't silly, but you

04:36 know what I mean.

04:37 4.

04:38 His Alternate Universe, Turtle Equivalent

04:40 An equally stupid joke character to the aforementioned Bizarro Flash appeared in the pages of Captain

04:44 Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew.

04:45 What?

04:46 I'm just reading that sentence back again.

04:48 That still makes no sense.

04:50 In this superhero crew who's led by a bunny, the equivalent of The Flash is a turtle.

04:56 This world and storyline is a place purely for furries and fans of bad puns, so, uh,

05:01 see you there.

05:02 3.

05:03 Batman's Goo-Goo Eyes for Him

05:04 It's not often that the Dark Knight will display emotions other than anger, angst,

05:08 and maybe a brief flirtation with rage.

05:11 Even more rare is getting the miserable get-to-smile.

05:13 After losing his parents at an early age and almost everyone who gets close to him dying,

05:16 Batman is a fairly closed-off sort of guy.

05:18 It's just like, "Get over it, Bruce, you're just the downer at the party, the ghost at

05:22 the feast.

05:23 Sort it out.

05:24 Go to counseling."

05:25 Which makes it all the more surprising that he would have so much respect for Barry Allen.

05:28 Even long before The Flash made his final heroic sacrifice to save all of reality in Crisis

05:32 on Infinite Earths, the Caped Crusader couldn't help but make clear how much respect and affection

05:36 he had for old Bazaar.

05:37 Predictably, though, this slight sentiment ushered by the Bat hasn't been repeated any

05:41 time since.

05:42 I mean, you don't want to ruin the dark, moody teenager in the throes of a breakup angst,

05:46 after all.

05:47 2.

05:48 Iris West and her time-traveling miscarriage

05:49 Wally West served for a time as Barry Allen's sidekick, Kid Flash, and was the younger nephew

05:53 of Allen's one true love, Iris West, who, it turned out, was actually from the 31st

05:56 century, sent back in time to escape the crosshairs of a murderous nutball called Professor Zoom.

06:00 No, no, we're not getting into this.

06:04 I just need to move on.

06:05 I've got a lot to cover.

06:06 I've had enough.

06:07 It was his connection to Barry, Iris, and Zoom that eventually left the most lasting impression

06:10 on Wally's tenure as The Flash.

06:12 Linda Park became Wally's one true love, much as Iris was to Barry, but only after he'd

06:16 obviously exorcised her of an 800-year-old Irish bard that had been possessing her body.

06:19 Nope, no, see?

06:21 No, we're not getting into it.

06:22 Moving on.

06:23 Then, Professor Zoom decides to wreck sh*t and come mess with the younger West.

06:26 In the process, he attacks Linda and causes her to miscarry the twins that she was pregnant

06:29 with.

06:30 Realizing that this was both gross and ridiculous, it got retconned during another time-traveling

06:33 fight between The Flash and Zoom.

06:34 I mean, good, because I don't want to deal with any, you know, hard-hitting real-life

06:38 consequences, DC.

06:39 Thanks for continuing to coddle me.

06:41 1.

06:42 That there was ever anyone but Barry Allen

06:43 Barry Allen replaced Jay Garrick, Wally West replaced Barry, and Bart Allen was all set

06:48 to replace Wally West when the time came.

06:50 Except then, DC got cold feet, decided that everything was much better as it used to be,

06:53 and Jeff Jones went on a sustained campaign of undoing all legacy characters.

06:57 It's Barry Allen in the hit TV show.

06:59 It's Barry Allen in the film.

07:00 It's Barry time.

07:01 Barry o'clock.

07:02 All the Barry, none of the Wally.

07:03 And that's our list.

07:04 Do you have any other secrets about old Barry that you'd like to share?

07:06 Well, drop 'em in the comments section below.

07:08 And if you want to see how quick I can be, then drop me a message here.

07:11 If you enjoyed the video, then like, share and subscribe.

07:12 I've been Jules, WhatCulture.com, and I'll see you soon.

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