The Meg 2! Movie Review with Stef and Izzy!

Stefan Molyneux

Philosopher Stefan Molyneux and his 14 year old daughter Isabella take you on a surprisingly deep journey into the new shark movie THE MEG 2!  Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!  Get access to StefBOT-AI, private livestreams, premium call in shows, my new book and the History of Philosophers series!  See you soon!  https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022

Transcript

00:00 All right.

00:01 All right.

00:02 Come on, we can't start with all right.

00:04 We have to do an intro.

00:06 Fine, you want the intro, do the intro.

00:07 No, you do the intro.

00:08 Oh, so it's something you want that I have to deliver.

00:11 Yeah, that's exactly how it is.

00:12 Welcome to the Meg.

00:13 To the Meg.

00:14 To...

00:15 I can just keep doing that and I'll do it for a while.

00:16 Yeah, okay, well we're doing a review of the Meg.

00:20 Now is this a movie you wanted to go and see?

00:22 At the beginning, I thought it would be complete cheese and not even good cheese, because we'd

00:26 just seen a lot of like cheesy movies recently.

00:30 So I was like, I do not want to see another one.

00:31 I need something intelligent, because I'm losing brain cells every time I go and watch

00:35 these.

00:36 Yep.

00:37 And, you know, then there was some convincing, so we ended up going to watch it.

00:42 And we were a smidge alarmed.

00:43 Well, I actually liked the beginning.

00:46 I liked the whole movie.

00:47 I'd say this was a lot better than pretty much every other movie we've reviewed, except

00:50 for the D&D movie.

00:52 Yes, yeah.

00:53 And I thought, like, just a brief overlay, obviously there's going to be spoilers.

00:58 Spoilers, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:59 You should know this by now.

01:00 Yeah, but I'd say like the first half was kind of had a bit of a slow start, although

01:05 I did find it interesting still.

01:07 And the second half was literally just like pure chaos.

01:10 It really was.

01:11 It was like cheesier than a cheese factory, like honestly, but it was amazing.

01:14 It was hilarious.

01:15 I think we annoyed everybody standing near us in the movie theater.

01:18 Oh, we're clutching at each other, we're screaming.

01:20 We were laughing.

01:21 Yeah, we were making so many jokes and I saw there was this girl that was sitting like

01:25 three seats away from you.

01:26 I think she may be like 20 and she just gave me such a look of hostility.

01:30 Yeah, well, she did not like that we were having fun with the movie.

01:34 Like we weren't that loud.

01:35 OK, everyone could hear the movie, but I mean, it was funny.

01:39 Can we just before we get into the actual content of the movie, can we just take a moment

01:43 and just think a little bit about the parenting of the people in the movie?

01:50 So this movie was pretty intense.

01:51 It's PG-13.

01:52 Yeah, I mean, there's people getting chewed and chomped.

01:55 There's scary jump scenes.

01:56 You couldn't really see anything, though.

01:58 There wasn't like you saw from inside the shark's mouth.

02:02 Oh, come on.

02:03 People getting pulled in and disassembled.

02:04 There was no disassembling.

02:06 You got to see the shark basically just inhale some people.

02:09 It didn't even chew them, really.

02:12 It wasn't a bad movie.

02:13 Look, I don't agree.

02:15 I think it could have been like PG-12.

02:17 OK, so.

02:18 OK, fine.

02:19 Let's go.

02:20 OK, I'm just saying you're over-dramatizing this.

02:24 I'm sorry.

02:25 Would you like to revisit that word again?

02:27 You what?

02:28 Over-dramatizing.

02:29 Over-dramatizing?

02:30 Or is that something in the vicinity of what you wanted to say?

02:35 Dramatizing.

02:36 Over-dramatizing this to make it sound a lot worse than it was.

02:39 Look, I do agree.

02:40 I think you're doing more damage to the English language than the shark did to the beachgoers.

02:46 I do agree that, I mean, there were some parents in there that brought literal toddlers.

02:50 No, babies.

02:51 I heard babies screaming.

02:53 I thought at first it was just me.

02:54 No.

02:55 OK, it did sound like you, but I think babies is fine because they don't understand what's

03:00 going on.

03:01 No, it's loud.

03:02 OK, then cover the ears of the baby.

03:03 But like the toddlers that can actually understand what's going on, it's like, what are you doing

03:07 bringing them to a shark movie?

03:08 Yeah, toddlers are screaming, saying, "Mommy, I don't want to bathe again ever."

03:11 OK, they never said that.

03:12 I've been through that.

03:13 They never said that.

03:14 Right.

03:15 OK, so I'm going to point out, maybe don't bring your kids to a shark death movie.

03:19 Oh my gosh, yeah.

03:20 No, I agree.

03:21 I just think it's funny.

03:22 I think they walked out later on, but it's like, what did you all expect?

03:28 Yeah, turns out the Sharknado movie is not a kid's movie.

03:31 It turns out your kids are 10 years too young.

03:34 So you do your first major point, then I'll do mine.

03:37 So yours was that the movie was not woke.

03:39 Yeah, it was actually, I think, so the audience rating, like in general, was 13% on the Tomato

03:45 Score.

03:46 It was really low from what I read.

03:47 And I'm like, this is going to be awful.

03:50 This was after we'd already bought the tickets and everything.

03:52 But we ended up going.

03:53 I think the reason it was rated so low is because it's actually very anti-woke.

03:58 I mean, if you think about it, like when we watched the Barbie movie, and yes, to clarify

04:03 some responses, I did watch that.

04:04 I just didn't think I had anything more than like five minutes of stuff to say about it,

04:08 so I didn't do the review.

04:10 But like with the Barbie movie, it was very, everything was like following an ideology.

04:17 It was all girl power.

04:18 It was like that kind of stuff, right?

04:20 And then with this movie, it was the complete opposite.

04:23 And like the three main evil characters, no, the two main evil characters, I believe, were

04:28 women.

04:29 Yeah.

04:30 And the whiniest.

04:31 And the whiniest characters were women.

04:33 Like when the guy got eaten by the squid at the very depth of the ocean where they were

04:36 walking.

04:37 The dude--

04:38 Hold on.

04:39 25,000 feet under the ocean.

04:40 Okay, we're gonna, there's a bit of a suspension of disbelief here.

04:43 As we mentioned, it's complete cheese.

04:45 A bit?

04:46 A little bit.

04:47 Just a bit.

04:48 So anyways, I'm just saying, the guys were like, "He's dead.

04:50 He's missing his helmet."

04:51 And all the girls were sobbing, and they're like, "We need to go back and get it."

04:55 They're 25,000 feet under the ocean.

04:58 His helmet floats down from where he got eaten up by a squid, and they're like, "We have

05:02 to help him."

05:03 And the dudes are just like, "You're just ridiculous."

05:06 Sorry, ladies.

05:07 They're not migrants.

05:08 All right.

05:09 So, you found it kind of anti-woke in that it didn't seem to go with all of this girl

05:13 power, men are idiots sort of stereotype, right?

05:16 Yeah.

05:17 Yeah.

05:18 Now, I found it a surprisingly deep movie.

05:19 Yeah.

05:20 Yeah, I mean, it was pretty deep under the water.

05:22 No, 'cause they went very far under the water.

05:24 You stole my joke.

05:25 That's what I said earlier today.

05:26 You stole my joke.

05:27 He stole my joke.

05:28 You stole my youth, it's only fair.

05:29 What?

05:30 That doesn't make any sense.

05:31 Okay, so, the girl.

05:32 The girl.

05:33 I don't even know her name.

05:34 The girl who was roughly your age.

05:35 Ming Lau Power.

05:36 Okay, okay.

05:37 I gotta say something about this girl.

05:41 You know, like, she wasn't a bad actor or actress, I guess.

05:44 Her voice didn't break the whole movie.

05:46 Okay, you know what?

05:47 Enough of you.

05:48 But you gave me vocal cords.

05:50 It's your fault.

05:51 I'm sorry.

05:52 Okay, look.

05:53 Okay, when I first saw her, the very first scene she showed up, I thought she was like

05:59 seven.

06:00 She's small.

06:01 Then they mentioned she was 14.

06:02 Now, the other thing, like, there's partly one thing.

06:04 I did not, like, if I hadn't known her age, there were some angles that she was shot at

06:08 where I would have thought maybe 20, and then others where I would have thought, like, kid

06:13 in elementary school.

06:15 Slightly chubby Chinese girls are not known to look young.

06:17 It's not even that.

06:18 It's like, I couldn't tell if she was chubby or skinny.

06:21 Because obviously, a lot of Asians, like the women, have chubby cheeks and stuff like that,

06:25 right?

06:26 But sometimes when I looked at her side profile, it looked like she had a flat stomach, and

06:30 then other times, like, her arms looked chubby.

06:32 I did not know.

06:33 And then the other one was, some angles, she looked really pretty, and other angles, I'm

06:36 like, what is this?

06:37 So I just didn't know.

06:39 It's like, everything, every time I saw her, I looked at a different character, if you

06:42 know what I mean.

06:43 Probably just whatever was on the food truck that morning before filming.

06:45 Yeah, like, how many actresses do they go through?

06:47 We know her mother was, I guess, a Chinese woman.

06:51 And her father was a mouse.

06:53 Did I have that correct?

06:54 Why is she short?

06:55 No, just because she had the little ear thing.

06:58 I think those are cute.

06:59 I don't wear them, but I think they can be cute on Asians.

07:02 Okay, so this is the cliche when it comes, so you've got to have a kid in peril.

07:06 But the kid who's in peril, it can't be the result of completely irresponsible parents,

07:09 because then you're mad at the parents.

07:10 So what has to happen?

07:12 Like, adopted kid, or like, no parents.

07:14 She has to sneak on, you know, against the parents' wishes.

07:17 Like, how do you even sneak on?

07:18 This is like some top, like, advanced facility with, I'm sure they have, like, ID scanners

07:23 and stuff like that.

07:24 I mean, like, they would at that point.

07:27 And she just sneaks on.

07:28 Like, that doesn't, that's one thing that didn't make sense, but it's like, you know

07:30 what, it's cheesy enough that I'll let it pass.

07:33 Now the main guy, Jonas.

07:35 Jonah.

07:36 Like, Jonah the whale, right?

07:37 Like, Jonah in the whale from the Bible.

07:38 So Jonas, he's a tough guy, right?

07:40 Yeah.

07:41 He's a tough guy, and he's got a lot of authority, and he's really tough guy voice.

07:45 The whole movie is tough guy voice.

07:47 He was like the most Australian-looking character I've ever seen.

07:49 He really was.

07:50 I genuinely looked at him, and I'm like, he's from Australia, and he spoke, and it proved

07:54 everything I thought.

07:56 He just gives you a tour of America, American accent.

07:58 He's so Australian that every time he came in the movie, I expected him to be upside

08:02 down, like just coming from the top of the frame.

08:04 I'm Australian.

08:05 So I thought that was gonna be it that way.

08:07 But he's a tough guy.

08:09 He can take on, you know, 20 giant sharks, but does he have any authority over his simp

08:16 cocked stepdaughter who isn't really his stepdaughter?

08:19 No.

08:20 'Cause he basically just, and we never saw Meg Won, but apparently he had an affair with

08:23 a Chinese, oh no, he had a love interest with a Chinese girl, single mom.

08:27 And then he ends up, he's so tough.

08:29 He's parenting because the mom died or something like that.

08:31 But he doesn't even parent.

08:32 No, he doesn't.

08:33 Oh, it's terrible.

08:34 I think it's like, they're kinda like companions, and it's more the uncle, the Asian dude, who

08:38 parents more than anything.

08:39 I hear parenting is quite a famous Chinese action movie star.

08:42 Apparently.

08:43 Apparently, yeah.

08:44 No, so like, no kids can, no one has any authority over the kids, and it's just terrible.

08:50 So I, the movie starts with some scene about, because you've gotta have it chomp up the

08:57 T-Rex, right?

08:58 So the movie starts with that, the Meg chomps up the T-Rex.

08:59 Yeah, I'm like, you know, I'm getting flashbacks to that, like, what's it called, like, nature

09:03 geography.

09:04 Jurassic Park.

09:05 Oh, the David Attenborough.

09:06 Yes, that's the global warming guy.

09:07 Look at all these lovely animals that your parents' SUVs are killing slowly.

09:11 Exactly.

09:12 No, but they did some, like, 3D modeled, like, what's it called, animated, realistic one

09:17 about dinosaurs and stuff like that.

09:19 I saw that, I'm like, they probably hired the same people.

09:22 So then I thought we were gonna end up not with giant sharks, but with giant radioactive

09:26 sharks.

09:27 Do you know why I thought that?

09:28 Why?

09:29 Because there's this whole scene at the beginning where he's on this container ship where they're

09:32 dumping radioactive waste into the ocean, right?

09:34 And you think, so no, you think radioactive, like, they're gonna be glowing, laser eyed,

09:40 like I thought they were just gonna go completely, like, in orbit, you know, just like they can

09:43 tunnel through your dreams.

09:45 I thought we were gonna end up with giant radioactive sharks, because the whole beginning

09:48 of the movie is them dumping radioactive waste.

09:50 Does it ever come up again?

09:51 No.

09:52 Nope, completely isolated.

09:53 It's a bit about, like, I don't know, some stuff with the ecosystem and, like, temp,

09:59 temp, no, not really temperature, the ecosystem and how things work.

10:03 Sorry, I'm enjoying your science, go ahead.

10:05 I'm gonna cover his mouth real quick.

10:07 The ecosystem and, like, how some things work with the plants and the sharks.

10:12 And they talked a bit more about it.

10:17 Peak advertisement for homeschooling is currently underway.

10:19 Look, I don't study global warming, that's because I'm homeschooled.

10:23 Right, right, right.

10:24 Okay, so there was a bit where I was really going into the depth and analogy, and I'm

10:29 serious about this.

10:30 Yeah, sure you are.

10:31 The depth of the analogy, no, no.

10:32 So at the beginning, remember, he gives them, I don't know, that finger gesture, I'm not

10:35 sure what that is.

10:36 Yeah, mysterious.

10:37 Yeah, yeah.

10:38 So he, and then he falls off, and then he gets, remember the airplane comes and scoops

10:40 him up?

10:41 Yes.

10:42 Now the airplane is about the size and dimensions, minus the wings, of a giant shark.

10:45 And I thought, look, here he's getting scooped up into the mouth of an airplane, like getting

10:48 scooped up into the mouth of a shark.

10:50 And I thought, oh, that's an interesting analogy.

10:52 And then do you know what happened?

10:53 My brain just went, shut up.

10:55 Thank you.

10:56 Stop doing analogies.

10:58 This is not the movie for that.

10:59 Stop doing abstract intellectual stuff.

11:01 Give me your hand.

11:02 You're learning.

11:03 Thank you.

11:04 I'm learning, coming along.

11:05 I'm coming along.

11:06 All right.

11:07 So yeah, my brain just went dark, but not as dark as the movie.

11:08 Not as dark as the movie.

11:09 So they go down 25,000 feet.

11:12 And do you know what there is down at 25,000 feet, other than barely visible anything in

11:16 the camera?

11:17 An underwater secret security.

11:19 A giant mining village.

11:21 Look.

11:22 Come on.

11:23 I was thinking about this because I always try and figure out the realism of things when

11:26 I watch movies.

11:27 Because you know how critical I am with this stuff.

11:31 I thought it made perfect sense.

11:34 Nothing could have been, stop mocking my voice, Crack.

11:35 I saw that.

11:36 I'm sorry.

11:37 Look, it's probably, you know, there's a bit of suspended disbelief.

11:42 My English isn't working today, but you could have, I mean, it's placed it in the future.

11:49 They could have figured out some technology to build it above water with the air and then

11:54 sink it underwater.

11:55 Stop looking at me.

11:56 With air in it?

11:57 Yeah.

11:58 You ever try pushing down a balloon that's full of air?

11:59 Well, it depends.

12:00 If it's heavier than Lizzo, it could probably sink to the bottom.

12:03 Yeah, that's true.

12:04 That's true.

12:05 Yeah.

12:06 But I just found, so there's a giant mining village at the bottom and they are, what are

12:11 they mining?

12:12 Gems.

12:13 Things.

12:14 Yeah.

12:15 Things that are needed for other things that are worth, like how much is a little handful

12:18 worth?

12:19 A billion.

12:20 And the great dialogue is, "What?

12:21 Is that billion worth a B?"

12:23 And it's like, that's the whole great dialogue is the math.

12:26 And I was like, "Oh, Lord."

12:27 I got to add one thing.

12:29 I don't blame him for asking what the Asian guy said because every time he talked, I heard

12:34 like, "King Chong."

12:35 It's like, even when he spoke in English.

12:36 No, you heard emotional damage.

12:37 Emotional damage.

12:38 Yeah, yeah.

12:39 No, but like-

12:40 It's not a business.

12:42 You know what you say to actors?

12:45 John Venti with ice and cavern.

12:48 That's good.

12:49 That dude is hilarious.

12:51 I can feel my spatial reasoning increasing when I hear the accent.

12:54 Yes, I see my eyes shrinking.

12:55 No, I mean, okay, I'm just going to say the guy, I think he's like Stephen Heat or something

13:00 on YouTube.

13:01 He's hilarious.

13:02 Go watch him.

13:03 Stephen Heat?

13:04 Yeah, or Sue, something like that.

13:05 Yeah, he's very funny.

13:06 Yeah.

13:07 So they were really, it was really dark and it took, see, for me, the movie, like up to

13:11 about halfway was kind of like vaguely serious.

13:14 Like people were dying and, "Oh, oh, and there's, apparently you're down 25,000 feet."

13:19 So I looked this up.

13:20 I looked this up.

13:21 What timeline is the movie setting?

13:22 Because I remember we talked about this.

13:24 At the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the water column above-

13:27 It's Maranara.

13:29 Sorry.

13:30 When you go for a dip in the Maranara Trench, the whoa, whoa, whoa.

13:33 Okay, I'm leaving.

13:34 Goodbye.

13:35 You started it.

13:36 Okay, the water column exerts a pressure of 1,086 bar.

13:42 That's barometric pressure, or 15,750 pounds per inch.

13:49 But he's off-

13:50 No, no, that's measured also, that's pounds on Lizzo's heel of the shoe, right?

13:56 15,750 pounds per square inch.

13:57 So all they had to do was build the spaceship with Lizzo's shoes, or sorry, the spaceship,

14:02 the suit, the underwater suit, and it would have sustained the pressure.

14:05 And then they end up getting sued by their dancers too.

14:07 So this is more than a thousand times as standard as atmospheric pressure.

14:11 But you can just have glass, just clear plastic or glass.

14:15 It's set in the future.

14:16 Okay, remember your novel literally-

14:17 It's not that far in the future.

14:20 Don't talk about that.

14:21 Remember your novel, The Future, where they literally had any kind of technology they

14:25 possibly wanted?

14:26 No, that's just science projected outward in time.

14:28 Okay, so maybe this is just science projected outward in time.

14:31 Hey, I'm holding you to your own standards, okay?

14:33 How does it feel?

14:34 Painful, as usual.

14:35 Yeah.

14:36 Now, so there's this bit where he has to swim underwater at 25,000 feet of depth, and they're

14:41 like, "No, no, just breathe out first."

14:43 You know, that's what they should have said to the people in that terrible sub accident

14:46 recently.

14:47 "Just breathe out, you'll be fine."

14:48 Oh, I saw the submarines going out, and I was like, "Ocean gate intensify."

14:51 Oh, yeah, ocean gate intensify.

14:53 So that was like, "No, no, you're fine.

14:55 It's just oxygen reacts to pressure.

14:57 Apparently nothing else."

14:58 Yeah, nothing.

14:59 So if you get, you know those vice things where they crush stuff?

15:01 You can put your whole hand in there.

15:02 As long as you breathe out, you won't get crushed.

15:04 Yeah.

15:05 And that was just like, "Okay."

15:06 So, for me-

15:07 No, that was, he's just, he's Australian enough that the pressure, just the gravity is like

15:12 the other way around.

15:13 So he's technically, like, if he's Australian, he's actually at the surface.

15:17 Oh, yeah, yeah.

15:18 Because it's so deep down, right?

15:19 He's actually at the surface of his homeland.

15:21 So it's actually, that's why he lived.

15:24 Science plus geography is irrefutable.

15:25 I'd be so good at writing one of these.

15:28 So I felt like halfway through the movie, because they were, I think, striving for a

15:32 kind of realism, and then halfway through the movie-

15:34 I think they just gave up.

15:35 They were just like, "All right, that's enough of that."

15:37 And it was just like, "Forget it.

15:38 The rest of it, we're just going to smoke weird drugs and write a movie."

15:41 I genuinely think, they must have been on something writing the second part, because

15:45 like, what?

15:46 Yeah, because the second half, okay, so, oh gosh.

15:50 No, it's okay.

15:51 So they end up escaping from the bottom, and they go through this thermocline, which is

15:56 this warm, cold temperature mix the sharks can't penetrate.

15:58 They rip a hole in it, and three creatures come out.

16:01 Now, see, it's the bottom of the ocean.

16:03 They can make up anything they want.

16:05 So what are the three things?

16:07 Bioluminescence.

16:08 No, no, the- that come out.

16:10 The squid.

16:11 The squid?

16:12 The mini dinosaur things.

16:13 Do you know- they have legs for a reason.

16:14 It's so that they can walk at the bottom of the trench.

16:18 Don't, no, don't.

16:19 Don't try.

16:20 I'm begging you.

16:21 And they have eyes for a reason.

16:22 Because?

16:23 Because they need to see the darkness.

16:25 In the bioluminescence.

16:26 You could make an argument that they have some vague eyesight because of the bioluminescence.

16:29 And you could make an argument that since there's, like, stuff down there that needs

16:34 mining, that's why they have claws, so that they can help the miners.

16:37 Nice, nice, well done.

16:41 If you take creatures used to a thousand- oh, no, fifteen thousand pounds per square

16:46 inch and you take them to the top, what do you think would happen to them?

16:49 They would just- they would just explode.

16:51 It's like humans in space.

16:52 They just- Yeah, yeah, or yeah, like, yeah, that's why.

16:55 So I just thought that was kind of wild.

16:57 So the Megs, Megalodons, right, these giant sharks-

17:02 It's Megalodon.

17:03 They were like thirty million to about three million years ago.

17:06 They went extinct about two and a half to three million years ago.

17:08 Now, these sharks have been trapped in virtually the complete darkness for millions and millions

17:13 of years.

17:14 Why do they still have eyes?

17:17 Well, didn't the bioluminescence, we went over this with the mini-

17:21 You can hunt with the bioluminescence.

17:25 And I don't also know, I've seen bioluminescent animals but never plants.

17:29 But anyway, I don't know, like at the bottom of the ocean, I mean.

17:32 So what I did was I looked this up because it's important to bring scientific realism

17:37 to the Meg.

17:38 Over the past few million years, there's a blind form of the Mexican tetra fish.

17:42 They've evolved in caves.

17:45 Maintaining eyes in the visual parts of the brain uses a lot of energy, so the loss of

17:48 eyes is a big advantage for animals living in the dark.

17:52 So they see by sucking, and this movie sucked by seeing.

17:56 So they see by sucking.

17:57 Actually, what's interesting about this is they didn't actually lose the genes for eyes,

18:02 they just switched them off.

18:03 So the eyes didn't develop.

18:05 So why does anything have eyes when it exists in almost perfect darkness?

18:10 That didn't make any sense.

18:11 How do fish that are 25,000 feet down get to the surface and know what jumping is, have

18:16 no problem with light, with the light being suddenly bright, have no problem with the

18:21 water pressure, I mean - Instinct.

18:23 Okay, that's good, that's good, instinct.

18:26 Because I mean like even though their evolution on land was a long time ago.

18:30 The sharks?

18:31 No.

18:32 What?

18:33 Please tell me more about your history of life.

18:37 I've had the things from Jurassic Park.

18:41 Oh, the dino, the dino kids.

18:43 The mini dinos.

18:44 Yeah, yeah.

18:45 The chompies.

18:46 Okay, so they were, their evolution on land was a while ago.

18:48 A while ago.

18:49 Probably around the time you were born, so.

18:51 Wait, not that far.

18:52 I mean, let's not get crazy here.

18:54 Fair, fair.

18:55 No, so I mean, you know, instinct.

18:59 No, see those guys also, what did they have?

19:03 They had eyes.

19:04 Their eyes, which had perfectly adjusted to 25,000 feet near perfect darkness, saw no

19:09 problem with eyes, could focus no problem in the light, and also, funnily enough, they

19:14 had running and jumping muscles even though they were entirely underwater for millions

19:18 of years.

19:19 Did they have a tailbone?

19:20 Go on.

19:21 No, no, go on.

19:22 Well, I mean, you can keep some muscles through evolution.

19:27 Oh, like the whales have those little back legs buried in there?

19:31 Yeah, can they use them for anything?

19:34 Looking cool.

19:35 How do buried limbs make things look cool?

19:39 I don't know.

19:41 Okay.

19:42 Extra scientificness of the skeletal-ishness.

19:44 Okay, let's get back to this.

19:47 So these sharks are never full and they can eat anything.

19:51 Rubber, they can eat wood, they can eat metal.

19:53 No problem with indigestion, nothing like that.

19:56 Also how many, sharks have five gills, these seem to have more.

19:59 I don't know why.

20:00 Because they're better.

20:01 Yeah, yeah.

20:02 You know how like big people have three lungs?

20:03 Okay, do you remember when we used to hunt humans in that private island run by Greta

20:07 Thunberg?

20:08 I do, yeah.

20:09 It was a great time.

20:10 Right, right.

20:11 Good times.

20:12 Do you remember how many calories are in a human being if you eat them?

20:13 115,000.

20:14 Actually, let's see here, if a cannibal eats an entire human being from the muscle to the

20:17 lungs, bones and skin, they get about 143,771 calories.

20:22 I think that might mess up my diet a bit.

20:25 Fatty tissue was unsurprisingly the most calorie-rich portion weighing in with 49,939 calories.

20:32 A meal of human liver offers about 2,570 calories and so that's...

20:41 Now, so I also looked up...

20:44 Okay, who actually...

20:45 Okay, genuine question though, because you looked this up.

20:47 Who genuinely makes articles like, "If a cannibal ate a human?"

20:52 No, that's not...

20:53 The weird thing was the recipes on that website.

20:55 I know, right?

20:56 Yeah.

20:57 Yeah, yeah.

20:58 Okay, so now the sharks...

20:59 They're almost perfectly.

21:00 Historically, sharks would have been about 52 feet long or 16 meters.

21:04 They weigh about 135,000 pounds.

21:09 But they were way bigger than that in this.

21:10 Well, yeah, okay.

21:11 So they can eat a killer whale in how many bites?

21:16 Five.

21:17 Five bites, right.

21:18 Okay.

21:19 So an adult Megalodon would have to have needed to eat how many calories a day?

21:24 Right here.

21:25 98,175.

21:26 So that's 20 times higher than an adult great white shark.

21:31 Somewhat.

21:32 So a human being has over 140,000 calories.

21:38 And sharks need 135,000 calories a day, so one human is more than their daily requirement

21:44 for eating how many humans do they eat?

21:46 Well, there are a lot of Megalodons.

21:49 There were three.

21:50 Ish.

21:51 Three.

21:52 It's not ish.

21:53 There wasn't an ish fish floating around.

21:55 What if there was?

21:59 What if there's an extra dimension inside their bellies where it gets fed to other sharks?

22:03 Remember in that Goat Simulator 3 game?

22:06 What?

22:07 Inside the whale there was a whole civilization.

22:09 Oh yeah, that's right.

22:10 That's right.

22:11 So clearly what I'm getting out of this is that there was.

22:14 So they basically ate a lot more.

22:17 Now mom had issues with their speed.

22:20 Oh, what's the other thing about going to a disaster movie with mom?

22:24 Who practiced psychology.

22:25 What is the other thing that mom says always?

22:28 It wasn't...

22:29 Wait, what?

22:30 So in disaster movies, mom is like...

22:31 Oh, but they're gonna be traumatized.

22:33 Is it gonna be so upset?

22:34 It's gonna be...

22:35 They're gonna have PTSD.

22:36 They're gonna be traumatized.

22:37 They're not gonna be making jokes.

22:38 They're too manly to get traumatized.

22:39 Yeah, yeah.

22:40 No, trauma is too girly.

22:41 It's too girly.

22:45 So let's see here.

22:47 Also mom had problems with the speed.

22:49 Now the average cruising speed for a Megalodon would be about 3.1 miles per hour.

22:53 It's pretty slow, right?

22:54 That's average.

22:55 Yeah, yeah, average.

22:56 That's average walking speed for humans.

22:58 So if...

22:59 Hold on.

23:00 If humans can run, I can run pretty fast.

23:03 I don't remember exactly quite how fast, but I can go pretty fast.

23:06 So clearly if their average speed is the same as humans, they can go pretty fast.

23:12 Now they say that they could swim at five meters per second.

23:17 So that's pretty cool.

23:20 Yeah.

23:21 All right.

23:22 So I gotta tell you, I normally feel, as you know, super manly by podcasting.

23:31 Sometimes.

23:32 Yeah.

23:33 I mean, it is kind of talking for a living, which is kind of a woman's usually typical

23:37 profession.

23:38 Go on.

23:39 I'd like to hear a little more about this.

23:40 Well, you know how men, you told me all about this, how men usually prefer like inanimate

23:44 objects and women...

23:45 What is this?

23:46 Is this an animate object?

23:47 Yeah, but you're like talking to people and literally going into emotions, which is girly.

23:53 And women prefer like people jobs, like teaching and being a secretary, like taking phone calls

24:00 and stuff.

24:01 So...

24:02 Oh, and psychologist and social worker.

24:04 I mean, you're basically a psychologist, but like a mix of Gordon Ramsay and a psychologist.

24:09 So don't question me.

24:11 I know.

24:12 I just, I'm going on this journey with you.

24:13 Gordon Ramsay's personality of being a lot more fast paced and aggressive than like therapy

24:19 and psychology.

24:20 So that's why I'm saying you're a mix, which is seems like a womanly profession.

24:24 Do you think that Gordon Ramsay should have more bleeping or my show should have more

24:28 bleeping?

24:29 Honestly, I think everything needs more bleeping.

24:31 Fair.

24:32 Because we've been, just context for the audience, we've been watching Kitchen Nightmares recently

24:36 and there will be scenes where the entire, like all you hear is like the entire scene,

24:42 genuinely, like just a camera angle.

24:45 It'll show like one second of like video and then just...

24:50 He's about as calm as a guy who just had a cactus jammed down his pants.

24:53 Yeah, that's pretty fair.

24:54 But I also think he's good and fair and right because people are facing the loss of their

24:59 dream, their home, their savings.

25:01 I'd rather keep my business and be yelled at by a professional for a few days than the

25:06 other way around.

25:07 So...

25:08 Right.

25:09 Now, I didn't get a very strong sense, like the sharks had an inner life because they

25:13 ate a lot of life that was inside them.

25:15 So the sharks had an inner life.

25:17 I'm not totally positive that many of the characters had an inner life of death.

25:22 There was that one cringy, depthful scene at the bottom of the ocean.

25:27 No, I'm kidding.

25:28 It was when the annoying Chinese girl, the 14-year-old, went up to the shark and was

25:33 like, "Do you miss your mom too?"

25:36 The shark?

25:37 Yeah.

25:38 Missed your...

25:39 Oh, oh, because they have that shark that's in captivity.

25:41 Yeah, that didn't have a mother and she lost her mom.

25:44 Right.

25:45 So she went...

25:46 It was literally just...

25:47 She just stood there.

25:48 They didn't do enough of a pause.

25:49 Her dewy-eyed sentimentality.

25:50 She literally just walked up and went, "Do you miss your mother too?"

25:55 Like that.

25:56 And then the scene just ended.

25:57 There's supposed to be a good 20-second pause while you anticipate what she's gonna say,

26:02 and that's when she's supposed to start sobbing or whatever.

26:05 I don't know.

26:06 I'm just going off cliches.

26:07 I mean, if they wanted to make it cheesy, they should have.

26:09 Just don't make it bad and not effort.

26:12 They could have increased the length of the movie to make it two hours, but they didn't.

26:16 This was that one scene.

26:17 This is just a little tip as a whole.

26:19 If you're ever around people who are really empathetic to animals but have no empathy

26:23 for people, run.

26:24 Do not walk.

26:25 Run.

26:26 If you've got to run off a plane, do that.

26:28 So this girl, does she have any empathy for any of the adults who are trying to protect

26:32 her?

26:33 No.

26:34 But she has empathy for a giant shark that would eat her like a toothpick.

26:38 So just wanted to point that out.

26:39 Yeah.

26:40 Oh, also, I saw this.

26:42 I'll be honest.

26:43 We have four ducks.

26:44 I can say, "I'll be honest."

26:45 Nothing has happened before.

26:46 Yeah, just this once.

26:47 Just this once, I'll be honest.

26:48 In true break with precedent, I'm going to tell you what I really think.

26:53 No.

26:54 No.

26:55 Look, it's, with our ducks, I can think, like, obviously, they're very different than giant

27:00 sharks.

27:01 I mean, some of them, at least, aside from that two that we had, but.

27:03 This is a great segue.

27:04 I'm enjoying this ride.

27:05 It's about animals.

27:06 Okay.

27:07 Okay, so they're going to be affectionate towards me because I provide them with food and affection

27:12 and I'll help them eat and stuff.

27:13 I'm going to view it as part of the flock and bonding animals.

27:15 Yeah, so they're going to be affectionate.

27:16 They'll try, if I have, like, genuinely, if I have some sort of mud on my hand, they

27:20 try and take it off my hand by cleaning, right?

27:22 Which is just an affectionate thing to do towards each other.

27:24 And they're affectionate towards each other, too.

27:26 After a swim, we have two ducks, Mellon and Nibbles, and Mellon will clean, Mellon and

27:31 Nibbles, they're sisters, and she cleans Nibbles.

27:34 She helps dry because Nibbles has an issue with her waterproofing.

27:37 So again, they're nice to each other, but I mean, they don't actually have emotions.

27:42 So all I'm saying is like.

27:44 They don't have emotions?

27:45 I don't think that's true.

27:46 I think they do have emotions.

27:47 They have fear.

27:48 They have emotions.

27:49 They also have sadness, because when Waffle died, Donut was very distressed.

27:52 Very sad, yeah.

27:53 So, look, they have emotions, but what I mean is it's not an actual, like, love or affection.

27:57 So it's just a basically a rant for all these people who are like, "My dog loves me."

28:01 It's like, no he doesn't.

28:02 You're part of the flock.

28:03 I understand.

28:04 A dog flock?

28:05 Sorry.

28:06 Please, go on with your analogies.

28:09 You're part of the herd.

28:10 What's it called?

28:11 No, a pack.

28:12 You're part of the pack for the dog, right?

28:13 And you're the alpha in the dog's eyes.

28:15 So the dog's going to try and be nicer towards you, right?

28:18 That's how it is.

28:19 They don't love you for who you are.

28:20 Like dogs and animals loved Hitler.

28:22 Do you think he was a good person?

28:24 Like I mean, obviously not.

28:25 So do you remember that video we saw?

28:27 What?

28:28 The guy pretends to die with cat treats.

28:30 Oh my gosh, yeah.

28:31 Do you want to mention that to people?

28:32 Yeah, this was like, I love this video.

28:33 I think I have it saved.

28:35 So the guy, the owner, he has two cats.

28:37 They're very pretty cats.

28:38 They look very friendly, right?

28:40 And he has a handful of treats in his hand, and he falls over and pretends to die.

28:44 And he has a camera set up and the treats fall and the cats go and eat the treats.

28:48 And then they start trying to eat him.

28:50 Yeah.

28:51 And he literally starts chewing on his cheeks.

28:52 And he has to bat them away.

28:53 He tries again.

28:54 I think they bit the ear.

28:55 And then he does the same thing with his dog and dog doesn't go for the treats.

28:58 Dog doesn't do anything.

28:59 Dog just kind of nudges at him and sits there.

29:01 Right.

29:02 And the dog will try and wake him up.

29:03 Didn't take any of the treats.

29:04 Was whining sad.

29:05 Again, that's not out of love.

29:07 That's just out of fear that your pack is dying.

29:10 Yeah.

29:11 I mean, I don't know how people who have cats even take naps.

29:14 Oh, genuinely.

29:15 Yeah.

29:16 All right.

29:17 No, cats are psychos.

29:18 I mean, they're very nice sometimes, but no, they're not.

29:20 They're not good.

29:21 So there was a.

29:23 Yeah.

29:24 So.

29:25 So I felt that sometimes my career hasn't been the manliest.

29:29 I typed a lot when I was a computer programmer.

29:31 That's manly.

29:32 Oh, it's a bit of manliness because I faced a lot of threats when I was doing public.

29:37 I'd say the manliest aspect of your career was Hong Kong.

29:40 Oh, yeah.

29:41 I took tear gas.

29:42 Or Australia.

29:43 Australia just increases testosterone when you're there.

29:45 Make at least with Australia.

29:46 I had to security with Hong Kong.

29:48 Not so much.

29:49 Yeah.

29:50 So but I feel I feel that this was about as manly a movie as you could possibly get.

29:54 Honestly, like no day that one.

29:56 I don't.

29:57 We never watched it, but I saw ads for it.

29:58 It looked hilarious.

29:59 Cocaine Bear seemed pretty manly.

30:00 Oh, yeah.

30:01 I never saw that.

30:02 It was like rated R or something.

30:03 So it's probably pretty manly, but R for really manly.

30:06 Yeah.

30:07 So I feel again, I take on some challenging topics.

30:10 I think I show some moral courage.

30:11 I was trying to think back on my career as a whole.

30:16 I can't think of a single time that I've killed a giant shark with a helicopter blade.

30:21 Yeah.

30:22 No, I don't think so.

30:23 When I say single time, I mean, because it's been more than once, obviously.

30:26 Yeah, totally.

30:27 But it's not a daily.

30:28 I can't think of a single time where I have speared a giant shark with explosive tipped

30:34 harpoons while riding a wave on a sedu.

30:37 Yeah, like when mom and I went seduing last summer, we really needed to up our game.

30:44 She was scared to go fast over waves, and this dude was literally flying through the

30:49 air with a spear.

30:51 So there's a, have you heard the phrase jumping the shark?

30:54 I don't know if you've ever heard that.

30:55 I have not, no.

30:56 Okay.

30:57 So jumping the shark is when a show just becomes bad or something just becomes bad.

31:00 It's a show nowadays.

31:01 And it's from, there's an old show called Happy Days where it was about a bunch of teenagers

31:05 and young people in a sort of Midwestern American town, I think it was.

31:10 And Milwaukee, I don't know, somewhere.

31:12 Anyway, so at one point, it went on too long.

31:15 And at one point, they had one of the guys had to jump a shark on water skis, like jump

31:19 over shark.

31:20 And it was considered to be like they were out of ideas and just came up with ridiculous

31:24 stuff, right?

31:25 And so it's called jumping the shark.

31:27 But in this movie, literally.

31:29 Literally jumped the shark.

31:31 I just remember, this is like not exactly related to that, but I just remember that

31:34 one scene when all the dudes, like the bad guys were in the forest on Fun Island.

31:39 And they heard a noise and they all had like these giant machine guns and you just heard

31:43 all the clicking.

31:44 I don't know, it was only you and I, but we just started like wheezing at that scene.

31:49 I don't know why it was just so funny.

31:51 Like every time they heard something, like the guns were like, like that every time.

31:56 It was so funny.

31:57 So I like it when these kinds of goofy action movies, I like it when you just get yanked

32:01 along for the ride.

32:02 Yeah.

32:03 And they don't try and explain anything and they don't really give you any characters.

32:05 Just like figure it out.

32:07 Yeah.

32:08 Like stuff's going to happen.

32:09 And when obviously like everything is trying to kill them.

32:10 I was waiting for like the plants to start trying to strangle them.

32:14 Like it was just like, there are dinosaurs on the land.

32:18 There are giant squid and sharks and everything in the water.

32:22 And then there are guys, the bad guys trying to shoot you.

32:25 And it's just like from every direction, your teeth will turn on you.

32:28 Your intestines will crawl out of your butt and try and strangle you.

32:30 Like it just gets ridiculous.

32:31 Yeah.

32:32 I was going to say another thing, like there was a lot of opportunity in that movie for

32:36 humor that they missed.

32:38 I think there was at one point when you said like, um, when the, the giant like octopi

32:44 or octopus was trying to, it was octopus.

32:46 Why do you think?

32:48 Cause I said so.

32:50 No, I think it was a giant squid.

32:51 Cause it had its.

32:52 I think the head looked like an octopus.

32:53 Cause the squid has like a pointed head.

32:55 Oh yeah.

32:56 Yeah.

32:57 Who ordered the calamari?

32:58 Yeah.

32:59 I think it was a giant squid.

33:00 I think they said that when it got chopped up by the helicopter wings.

33:03 Or they could have taken a baseball bat and said time to butter, batter the calamari.

33:07 Anyway I could have done this all day.

33:09 Should we do this all day?

33:10 Should we just take that the rest of our day?

33:11 No.

33:12 No.

33:13 Do you still want subscribers?

33:14 I know when they blow up the shark and say sushi time.

33:16 Yes.

33:17 There were a couple other ones.

33:19 I can't remember what it was, but I remember I turned you in the theater and say something

33:21 and it would just be like take away from the moment or whatever.

33:24 But I just thought that one, like there were a lot of opportunities for missed humor.

33:28 So another one, this wasn't a really big thing, but I thought at the very end of the movie

33:31 when they were drinking the vodka or whatever it was, or the bourbon, and I think it would

33:37 have been very funny if they just chugged the entire bottle.

33:39 Like had poured a cup for himself and like just a little bit in the cup and then put

33:44 the cup aside and just drank the bottle.

33:46 Or you know, so they have tequila sometimes comes with a worm in it.

33:49 I don't know why.

33:50 What?

33:51 It's to show that there's enough alcohol in it to kill the worm so it's not, I think there's

33:54 some, so it would have been great if they'd been drinking tequila and then the worm had

33:57 come to life and try to kill them because everything in this movie tries to kill humans

34:01 like no matter what.

34:02 Yeah, yeah, that would have been funny.

34:03 But it was nice to see the dog getting saved I thought.

34:05 Okay that was so-

34:06 It was lovely because he's a doggy reference.

34:08 I saw that dog and I'm like, I just genuinely not hated a character more in my life.

34:12 He had a bow in his hair.

34:13 Or hair or whatever.

34:14 It was a girl.

34:15 It was a female dog, yeah.

34:16 Look, these influencers with their like stupid like pillow sized dogs, why?

34:23 Get a husky or like a German Shepherd because those things are just like pathetic.

34:29 They're useless.

34:30 They bite you, like they're incredibly aggressive, they're mean, they don't care about you, they're

34:34 not often very good at being tricked.

34:35 Oh that guy's got demon dogs in those memes.

34:36 The chihuahuas.

34:37 Every single time I see a chihuahua they're screaming within the next five seconds.

34:43 I don't understand why are little, like I hate little dogs.

34:46 I'm sorry, I know the only pets I have are very small.

34:50 Actually I know for ducks they're huge.

34:51 They're big ducks, yeah.

34:52 I know they're huge for ducks but look, it's just like the dog should not be the same size

34:56 as a duck.

34:58 I think some of these dogs are smaller than other ducks.

35:00 Male Muscovies can get a wingspan of five feet.

35:04 And these dogs are like five pounds.

35:07 And how much can the biggest male Muscovies weigh?

35:10 30 pounds I think.

35:11 I heard that there was one that was 30 pounds.

35:13 It's not like, the average is 20.

35:15 And live for how long?

35:16 No, longest living duck.

35:17 Longest, okay, this is, I do not know how accurate it is but it is on the Guinness World

35:21 Record.

35:22 I believe it's like either 40 years or six years.

35:24 Crazy.

35:25 But I think it was like a mallard and those are very small so they live a long time.

35:29 So I, there were, so a couple of jokes were sort of subtle.

35:34 So the black guy DJ, he was very funny.

35:37 He was hilarious.

35:38 He was hilarious.

35:39 Dude, the backpack, why did he have a makeup mirror?

35:42 Why did he have a makeup mirror?

35:44 Because reasons.

35:45 I don't even use makeup.

35:46 Like I'm a little girl, I don't have a makeup mirror.

35:47 Right, right.

35:48 I won't talk about mine.

35:50 But he was very funny.

35:52 Now at one point, so this is a sequel shark movie and at one point he said, do you remember

35:56 what he said about the bullets in his gun?

35:58 What?

35:59 Ah, poison bullets.

36:00 Oh yeah.

36:01 And he said, I have poison bullets which they used in a movie called Jaws 2.

36:04 So they- It's also like, dude, it's a bullet.

36:07 It's gonna kill you.

36:08 The lead will kill you.

36:09 Why do you need poison?

36:10 Lead poisoning.

36:11 But yeah, so he was very funny.

36:14 The other characters were mostly forgettable for me other than just kind of whiny and complaining.

36:18 No, that dude was hilarious.

36:20 Every scene he was in, it was like infinitely funny.

36:23 Yes.

36:24 That one scene where he's like, we run on three, two-

36:25 And then he just runs.

36:26 No, she was already running by the time he said that.

36:29 And then he overtook her somehow.

36:30 I don't know how that worked.

36:31 Yeah, it's like, rah?

36:32 It was subjunctivistic.

36:34 Anything else that you would mention about the movie or wanted people to know?

36:38 I think they needed T-Rex.

36:42 It was only mentioned, it was a very minor character at the beginning.

36:44 They could have gone in depth with that character development.

36:46 Yep.

36:47 It was a very minor character arc, they needed a T-Rex at the end.

36:51 Also, it did seem kind of cold-blooded.

36:52 Reptilian.

36:53 Anyway.

36:54 I'm not dictifying anything with the response anymore.

37:00 You came, so okay, let's be honest, because in the first third of the movie, what did

37:04 I see out of the corner of my eye?

37:06 Okay.

37:07 What did I see?

37:08 When they were at the very bottom and that secret place was like shooting at them.

37:12 Oh wait, one thing I wanted to mention.

37:14 The secret underground mining thing, because mines mysterious items.

37:17 Okay.

37:18 I wanted to mention one thing about that before the end.

37:21 So in there, when the evil blonde woman, because all blonde women are evil, no offense, but

37:28 ... You have looked at your hair color, right?

37:33 I used to be blondish.

37:35 I'm like orangey brown with a bit of blonde at the end.

37:40 The ends of my hair are evil, because that's where the blonde is.

37:43 Do you remember what the hairdresser told you when you were younger?

37:46 She thought my hair was dyed.

37:47 She thought your hair was dyed?

37:48 What did she say about it?

37:49 A woman literally said to my mom, she's like, "You dye her hair?"

37:54 Because apparently I have the hair color that women dye their hair to get.

37:57 Yep.

37:58 Actually, we'll also murder.

37:59 Smug, wait, what?

38:00 She said women pay how much to get your hair?

38:02 $200.

38:03 Hundreds of dollars to get your hair.

38:04 I don't like this topic.

38:05 It's hair.

38:06 It's lucky.

38:07 I got lucky hair.

38:08 Yeah, you got lucky hair, but it's pretty hair.

38:11 The other thing is, why did we even bring that up?

38:13 Oh yeah, because blonde women are evil.

38:17 Especially women who dye their hair blonde, because then they're just trying to be evil.

38:19 I mean, honestly.

38:22 That woman, the blonde woman, she was on the camera and she's like, "Kill this guy or else

38:27 we'll send away the other escape pod."

38:28 Right?

38:29 Now, obviously he was manly, so he's like, "Do it."

38:31 Kill the Jason Stratham character.

38:34 Noah.

38:35 Jonah.

38:36 Jonah, yeah, yeah.

38:37 So realistically, now obviously they didn't know if they could trust her because she's

38:40 blonde, but they wouldn't spear him.

38:46 Now realistically, they should have died in that situation because he would not have been

38:50 able to swim out and open the gear.

38:52 No, but he breathed out, so he's fine.

38:55 No.

38:56 He's breathing out, magically reduces pressure.

38:58 Okay, if you have no air in your lungs, then you can't swim that far.

39:02 He was underwater for like a minute.

39:04 Oh, and then he basically half passes out, half dies, and then he's up and fighting some

39:09 dude in like 10 seconds.

39:11 Yeah.

39:12 Oh, that's crazy.

39:13 Sorry, go on.

39:14 No, but anyways, I mean, realistically, they should have just shot him.

39:16 I don't mean to be rude, but it was either his life or they all-

39:19 I don't think that's a politeness thing.

39:21 I don't think shooting someone is a matter of etiquette.

39:24 Excuse me, would you mind awfully-

39:25 I sincerely apologize.

39:29 They had to take the chance because he-

39:30 Because otherwise they were all going to die.

39:32 It's either one dies-

39:33 But that's what he said.

39:34 No.

39:35 Shoot me, right?

39:36 So then he should have just taken the gun and shot.

39:37 I mean-

39:38 Oh, shot himself?

39:39 Yeah, because if she's not going to man up and shoot him to save them all, then realistically

39:45 they all would have died there.

39:46 So I mean, either one guy dies or they all die and he dies anyway.

39:49 So it just seems like-

39:50 I'm giving you a very baleful and skeptical glare.

39:53 I can tell.

39:54 Do you know why?

39:55 Why?

39:56 Well, he should have taken the ultimate self-sacrifice and given up his life.

39:59 Issy, would you like to come and play some pickleball?

40:01 Oh no, it's far too hot.

40:03 I will melt and die.

40:04 I can't make that sacrifice.

40:06 Okay, that's-

40:07 Sorry, go ahead.

40:09 Do you understand how different that-

40:11 Like, that's supposed to be an analogy or something, but like, look, this is literally

40:16 a life and death matter.

40:18 I like pickleball.

40:19 It's very important to me.

40:21 You have mom to play pickleball with.

40:22 No, mom hurt herself.

40:23 She can't play.

40:24 Yeah, she can play again in like two days.

40:25 Get over it.

40:26 Look, it's-

40:27 Sacrifice is so important.

40:28 Oh, it's hot out.

40:30 Look, obviously the male characters in life are sacrificeable.

40:34 Not me.

40:35 They're disposable.

40:36 Because I identify as a woman or a turkey.

40:39 So I'm clearly-

40:40 Where did the turkey come from again?

40:44 I don't know.

40:45 Oh, it came from that game Goose Goose Duck when we were making some jokes about pronouns

40:49 and someone put the turkey head on as their accessory and he goes, "My pronouns are turkey."

40:56 Gobble, gobble.

40:57 Right.

40:58 That's exactly what-

40:59 That's where it came from.

41:00 I'm sorry.

41:01 I'm sorry.

41:02 That's a long reference.

41:03 But it's- Look, I was saying clearly male characters are disposable and I'm not a male

41:09 character.

41:10 I'm a female and I'm a child in peril when we play pickleball.

41:12 So that's why it's different.

41:13 So I just wanted to point out the syllogisms that we're going through here.

41:16 Number one, blondes are evil.

41:19 Number two, is he's kind of blonde.

41:21 Number three, is he believes that males are disposable.

41:23 Ah, you're proving your own thesis.

41:25 Well done.

41:26 Exactly.

41:27 I'm not blonde though.

41:28 Can you talk back about where this blonde thing came from?

41:31 Okay, look.

41:32 So the blonde people that I have known, there's a few exceptions.

41:37 Specifically when I say people, I mean women.

41:38 There's a couple exceptions of some girls I know now, but every blonde person I met

41:43 before the age of 12 is just irreversibly and unhopefully evil.

41:50 Now do you feel that that might be a bit of a strong statement?

41:52 No, they're evil.

41:53 Genuinely.

41:54 They're genuinely just the worst, most insanely evil people I've ever met.

41:58 They're probably like eviler than the Meg.

42:01 What?

42:02 Okay, first of all, there's so much wrong with that.

42:05 Don't even question me.

42:06 First of all, it was the Meg too.

42:07 Second, eviler is not a word.

42:09 Third, they're just eating machines.

42:10 They're not evil.

42:11 Yeah, that's fair.

42:12 Okay, but like the women, the blonde women, especially the ones that dye their hair blonde,

42:17 just they're also just eating machines.

42:19 They lack brain cells.

42:20 Who would genuinely- Wait, the blonde women or the Sharks?

42:24 Yeah.

42:25 I mean, look, who would genuinely go and be like, "I'm going to change my hair color

42:31 to the low IQ hair color."

42:33 Everybody is like a blonde people being blonde is like such a joke because blonde people

42:38 are just considered to be dumb.

42:40 So like who would genuinely be like, "I'm going to advertise my low IQ by voluntarily

42:45 dyeing my hair blonde."

42:46 There's also, I mean, it just proves that they're evil.

42:49 It's all I can say that blonde people, they're just evil.

42:51 Now, hang on.

42:52 So there could be another theory.

42:53 I don't know if blondes have lower IQ on average, but what I would say is that people who don't

42:59 feel like they have as much to offer maybe intellectually dye their hair to look prettier

43:02 so that they can attract a man that way.

43:04 Which is evil.

43:05 Altering your appearance to be more attractive is evil.

43:09 Just grow intelligence.

43:10 Dye your hair for more neurons.

43:14 Exactly.

43:15 Just something you could snort that would make your brain sludge.

43:17 Right?

43:18 That's the idea.

43:19 Yeah, exactly.

43:20 Got it.

43:21 Got it.

43:22 So I think the only blonds that I know are just like the most annoying creatures on earth.

43:26 Well, I mean, no offense, no offense.

43:29 No offense.

43:30 The most evil creatures on earth.

43:32 I don't mean that in a negative or offensive way.

43:36 You are Satan spawn.

43:38 Not negatively though.

43:39 We just don't happen to get along very well.

43:42 Look, it's just, all I'm saying is that the blonde people I know are not very nice.

43:47 And often you'll show me like those videos of like women on like, I don't know, Tik Tok

43:52 or something like complaining about their life.

43:54 I never show you negative videos about women because I don't want anything to feed into

43:58 this prejudice.

43:59 So look, and then, and then like in the video, they always have dyed blonde hair or naturally

44:04 blonde hair.

44:05 I like, they're always blonde.

44:07 Like I don't know what it is, but women who dye their hair blonde are evil.

44:11 I'm sorry.

44:12 I'm sorry.

44:13 I mean, no, I mean actually huge offense.

44:15 Just break through, break through the thermal client.

44:19 Just get your natural hair color is fine.

44:23 Right.

44:24 Okay.

44:25 Dye your eyebrows blonde.

44:26 Now.

44:27 So you saying I become less evil as I got gray.

44:28 Cause I platinum dudes are fine.

44:30 Like blonde dudes.

44:31 Okay.

44:32 They can be a little rude sometimes and they often end up as a surfer bro.

44:34 But I mean, they're mostly fine.

44:36 Wait, teenage boys being a little rude at, I can't imagine.

44:39 It's like the, the, uh, they, they always, they're either rude or they end up as the

44:44 surfer bros with that like shoulder like there in the dude.

44:47 Yeah, dude, you see the waves.

44:50 That's gnarly bro.

44:51 Okay.

44:52 I think we kind of went off the topic of the mag a little bit, but look, all I'm saying

44:57 is she had dyed blonde hair and she was evil.

45:00 You see everything I'm saying is adding up to the conclusion that women who dye their

45:04 hair blonde are evil.

45:05 Right?

45:06 No offense.

45:07 Do you think they're evil?

45:08 And then they dyed their hair blonde or dyed their hair blonde makes them evil.

45:12 Well they have the idea.

45:13 Okay.

45:14 So there's two stages.

45:15 You've really worked this out haven't you?

45:16 There's evil one, which is when they're just kind of evil and then they realize they need

45:21 a way to display it.

45:23 So they decide that like they're not evil enough to dye their hair like rainbow, but

45:27 they're evil enough that they're going to pretend to look pretty by wearing like a lot

45:31 of pale makeup and then dying their hair blonde.

45:34 That's stage two.

45:35 So that's when they're going to their hairdresser and booking their appointment.

45:38 Stage three is when they're already, they've turned blonde.

45:41 They realize that it suits their evil personality perfectly and they keep dying their hair blonde.

45:48 Would you like an example of something they call ADHD?

45:51 Do you remember the question that I asked that prompted this wild, wild segue?

45:58 So we're in the movie, we're about a third of the way in.

46:00 I turn and what do I see next to me?

46:04 Glowing in the dark like bioluminescence in the bottom of the ocean.

46:07 Okay so this brings me back to the blonde people.

46:09 No, let them go.

46:10 This brings me back to when they were escaping that, not escaping, but when they were in

46:18 their original Ocean Gate submarines with the orange lights and that Hispanic dude in

46:23 the, I don't know, the control pod was launching missiles at them underwater because you know

46:27 why not.

46:28 He set off bombs or something.

46:29 Yeah.

46:30 And they were crashing with the rocks.

46:31 I knew that they were probably all going to live and I didn't really know the characters

46:34 names and I still don't.

46:35 And it was really chaotic and dark.

46:36 I didn't know what was going on half of the scene.

46:37 Yeah so I was just kind of like I might as well check my messages because the scene is

46:45 irrelevant because it doesn't like, me watching it.

46:47 They're going to survive.

46:48 We don't know what we're looking at.

46:49 Yeah.

46:50 Yeah.

46:51 So I just, I went on my phone and I shared a meme with someone.

46:53 So there you go.

46:54 I thought you were trying to give me some bioluminescent vividness in the movie theater.

46:58 I really wanted to.

46:59 I had the urge to just flashlight.

47:00 So I thought, and honestly I thought we were kind of doomed.

47:03 It was like at the beginning of Barbie we thought we were doomed, right?

47:05 At the beginning of all these movies we think we're doomed and then 50% of the time we actually

47:09 are doomed.

47:11 And then the other 50% of the time we were doomed all the way through.

47:13 I never watched that.

47:15 But I thought we were doomed and then when did it really start to pick up for you and

47:20 save itself?

47:24 I don't know.

47:25 I liked the whole thing.

47:26 Yeah?

47:27 Okay good good.

47:28 I thought for me once they got to the surface, like once they got up further to the surface

47:30 things got better for me because I could see what was going on.

47:32 I just liked it.

47:33 Okay.

47:34 So let me tell you this audience rating of 13% there were four people that walked out

47:37 during the movie, which is less than the Barbie movie.

47:40 Although I guess the theater was a lot bigger for the Barbie movie, but the amount of applause

47:45 at the end people like it was so, it was louder than like every other movie I've ever seen

47:50 at a movie theater.

47:51 Well, but some of the people applauding were blonde.

47:55 I hate the Meg.

47:56 No, I didn't see any blonde.

47:57 No, I didn't either.

47:58 Except for that one woman that was giving me like the most incredible stink eye for

48:03 laughing.

48:04 But it was like, everyone, like everyone applauded and they seemed so enjoyed of the movie.

48:10 Or they seemed that they enjoyed the movie a lot.

48:13 So you would, you would recommend this strongly, right?

48:15 I would, if you have a friend that will and can make offensive jokes during the movie,

48:21 I would absolutely recommend going to it because I think if I had just seen it myself or something

48:24 it would have been like not as fun.

48:26 But when you have somebody who you can just mock the movie with relentlessly and annoy

48:30 everybody sitting near you, it's a great time.

48:33 Literally clutching your arm in joyful horror.

48:34 You literally like ripped my arm in half basically.

48:37 I wanted to give you a strong Meg feel.

48:39 Like you gave me bioluminescence, I gave you dismemberment.

48:40 You saw somebody and you were laughing and you just yanked my arm.

48:44 That was great.

48:45 Yeah.

48:46 So I think, I think we should, I think it's recommended.

48:48 I recommend this.

48:49 This is better than the Barbie movie.

48:52 And I actually-

48:53 I think they should have put the two together.

48:54 Honestly, I think in the Barbie land at the very beginning when Ken went into the water,

48:58 like the water in his Barbie land, the Meg should have just come up and that should have

49:02 been the beginning of the movie.

49:03 Or put the three together, you get Barbie Meganheimer.

49:06 I enjoy that.

49:07 And then just at the end they're like, we finally live with the bomb.

49:12 But yeah, anyways.

49:13 All right.

49:14 So thanks everyone so much.

49:15 Freedomain.com/Denae if you'd like to talk about the show.

49:17 Recommend more movies we should do.

49:18 Yeah.

49:19 If you want to recommend, so somebody recommended an alien movie that we should play.

49:22 Oh no.

49:23 No, an alien video game that we should play.

49:24 An alien video game.

49:25 Okay.

49:26 Because people really enjoyed our video game stuff.

49:27 But yeah, freedomain.com/Denae.

49:28 Also, speaking of video games, I'd recommend Diablo 4.

49:31 It's a great game.

49:32 It is fun.

49:33 It is a good game.

49:34 It's a lot of fun.

49:35 The story's great.

49:36 At least I actually kept track of it, Dat.

49:37 I don't know.

49:38 There was stuff to smash with the club.

49:39 I was playing a barbarian.

49:40 I had to be low tech and low IQ.

49:41 I was playing a sorceress.

49:42 I had to be intelligent and distinguished.

49:45 Pulled it off.

49:46 All right.

49:47 Thanks everyone.

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