Chuck Webber's Land of Abusement | movie | 1999 | Official Featurette - video Dailymotion

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A 35mm cut-out animated infomercial for the world's most dangerous theme park. | dG1fblQybGlFQ09VQkU

Transcript

00:00 The following is paid advertisement from Erecto Industries and Chuck Webber's Land of Amusement.

00:07 [music]

00:11 Let me ask you, are you tired of the average family vacation?

00:15 Boring excursion to a so-called paradise?

00:18 [screeching]

00:19 [splash]

00:20 Or the so-called back to nature with nothing to do but talk?

00:27 [music]

00:32 Let's face it, it's too late to try and talk to those rotten kids now.

00:37 I hate you all.

00:40 Well change all that and come party at my house, 26 miles off Round-a-Clock F.U.N.

00:47 Right away you'll be parked by one of my courteous prehistoric parking attendants.

00:52 $50? That's kind of a lot for parking, isn't it?

00:57 Hop in line with 75,000 of your closest friends as you join in a short 7-mile jaunt to my epicenter of fun,

01:06 my Land of Amusement, where almost 200 days a year we welcome our friends, regular folks, and the foreigners.

01:15 Due to a small explosion and a few minor deaths, the petting zoo has been closed.

01:19 Okay, let's see now. I got two adults and three kids. No, wait.

01:23 Let's see, there's two adults, two kids.

01:26 That'll be $1,763 cash.

01:31 [music]

01:37 If you want, jump right into the one and only Prune Flume.

01:41 Yeah, you're gonna get wet.

01:43 [laughing]

01:45 [engine revving]

01:47 Yippee!

01:48 Right next door is my one and only restroom. Make reservations.

01:53 For my youngest guests, I offer the infinitely popular Mommy Nearest.

01:58 Finally a ride for babies.

02:00 [baby crying]

02:03 It's not sexual. It's just what babies like.

02:06 So absolutely no daddies.

02:09 This ride is rated from Zygo to three years old.

02:12 [gunfire]

02:14 Try your luck shooting it out with an automated crazed postal worker.

02:18 [gunfire]

02:21 It's real down to the last detail.

02:24 Watch out kids, there's real radioactive waste in those drums.

02:29 And don't forget to buy plenty of souvenirs.

02:32 There's a gift booth at every major attraction.

02:35 And every spot is a photo spot.

02:40 But I know yous. You want excitement.

02:44 Jump on my bug tram and it'll take you to the front door of my very own cathedral.

02:50 For an experience I call Sinner, the Christian Crunch.

02:56 [music]

03:03 [radio chatter]

03:09 This is no simulation.

03:11 You battle it out with your alleged zealots driving 50 ton robots.

03:15 And you with just a machine gun.

03:18 [gunfire]

03:22 Still fired up? Well I'll bet Dan Grandpa will love the haunted whore house.

03:27 [gunfire]

03:30 [roaring]

03:34 Hey, but I'm not sexist. This house has a few treats for the ladies as well.

03:39 [laughing]

03:41 In hangar 18 is my 3 million gallon tank of freezing sea water.

03:46 All for flight 666, the airline disaster simulation.

03:51 Complete with boarding passes.

03:53 Did you dry up from before?

03:55 Well you're gonna get wet again.

03:57 [radio chatter]

04:05 [music]

04:12 [gunfire]

04:17 [screaming]

04:25 [explosion]

04:28 [screaming]

04:32 All simulations are controlled by our safety system to ensure maximum funnage and numerous injuries.

04:39 I can see you're still begging for more and more I've got.

04:43 [music]

04:48 Jump in the jam and ride the colon blaster.

04:53 Hey, that handsome devil looks like me.

04:56 [music]

04:59 [screaming]

05:05 You really want physical? Well maybe you're right for rock around the crock.

05:09 You have 10 seconds to swim through a pool of live crocodiles.

05:14 If you make it, dinner for two on us.

05:18 Here's Mr. Dex Leatherby of Rugburn, Iowa.

05:21 He likes that wager.

05:25 You still want more excitement? It's called the drop.

05:29 It's the roller coaster that has broken every roller coaster fatality record.

05:35 [music]

05:40 [screaming]

05:44 [music]

05:52 What can I say? See you this summer.

05:57 Chuck Webber Land of Abusement is located directly off the E49 Lincoln Expressway.

06:00 Take the DAP junction, follow to the M27 bypass, cross over the Slough River, turn left onto Duncan Avenue,

06:04 turn left on the second light, you get to the E69 interchange, take the Tally Walker exit, turn to the bottom of the hill,

06:07 turn left onto Webber Lane Road, take the road 66 miles, and you're there.

06:14 [music]

06:39 [BLANK_AUDIO]

Chuck Webber's Land of Abusement | movie | 1999 | Official Featurette

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