00:00 This is what I'm doing now, my grandmother doesn't know about this.
00:03 I'm taking a risk, I have a stake here.
00:06 It's an important thing.
00:08 Will I be okay here? Will I prosper here? Will something happen to me here?
00:13 There's a time when I don't even talk to my manager, I'm hiding.
00:23 When you were offered or told that you will be a VivaMax star, you will be a part of VivaMax,
00:30 did you have a plan?
00:33 And how did you think about it?
00:37 Angelica?
00:38 Actually, this.
00:41 This is what I'm doing now, my grandmother doesn't know about this.
00:47 She doesn't know that I have a fantasy, that I'm already a VivaMax star.
00:53 She doesn't know.
00:55 I prepared this, I thought about it a lot, if I will be a part of this.
01:01 Of course, there's pressure, you will doubt yourself.
01:08 Wait, am I really here? Will I be okay here? Will I prosper here?
01:15 Will something happen to me here?
01:17 That's how you think before you enter.
01:20 You don't want to waste what you're doing because what we're doing is a big risk.
01:26 It's a risk to a woman.
01:29 We're not the type of woman who will just enter and get naked.
01:39 We're not the type of woman who doesn't have feelings.
01:44 We need to think about everything we do.
01:48 That's why I thought about this a lot.
01:51 Actually, I told my grandmother before we went to go see her.
01:58 I told her, "You know what babe, I won't be going tonight."
02:02 But I asked for a sign from the Lord, I asked for a sign from people I know,
02:07 I will be given advice, I said.
02:09 I thought about it twice, I should have backed out.
02:15 But I realized and thought about the hard work I did before I got it.
02:21 Actually, I was rejected by our boss three times.
02:26 Because a lot of people auditioned. How many did I get?
02:30 About 100?
02:32 100, they said.
02:33 100 auditions for Fantasia.
02:36 So, we were really lucky, we got 8.
02:41 Of course, I was thinking, "Am I going to waste it?"
02:44 This is the choice of your son,
02:49 if I don't get this, I might regret it.
02:54 You know, it's in your head.
02:57 But I thought, I'm a risk taker.
03:00 If I get it, I know it will be okay.
03:03 How about you, Aiko? Did you have a bad experience
03:07 when you were just about to become a Viva Maxx stars?
03:10 How?
03:12 It was so bad.
03:14 There was a time when I couldn't talk to my manager,
03:17 I was hiding.
03:19 I was backing out, like she said,
03:21 "You're cast, you can't back out, you have no other choice."
03:25 It reached that point.
03:26 Because, first, you have to think about the judgment of the environment.
03:31 And then, second, that's my work.
03:35 After I signed up for Viva,
03:37 because it was raining, I couldn't forget,
03:39 we were so hungry, I was eating hotdog at 7-Eleven.
03:43 "Hotdog?"
03:44 So, I said, "Am I doing the right thing?"
03:50 I said, "I can't risk my professional job for this."
03:55 But I was already here, I said, "Is this right?"
03:59 I always had that thought.
04:02 Because I was already there, in my field of work,
04:06 I already set a goal to get promoted by procession.
04:12 I was also aiming to get to this age, to reach it.
04:17 Then, I backed out, I totally let her go,
04:21 and I chose Viva.
04:23 That was one of the biggest risks that I let go.
04:29 Then, when I got in, I took a risk.
04:34 I took a gamble here, an important thing.
04:38 I had no other vision to back out.
04:43 So, you can't avoid doubting, being afraid of judgment.
04:51 But, that's one of the things you're saying.
04:54 Actually, my boss, who is also a big help to me,
04:58 my boss in my work,
05:00 she said, "Don't let the 'what ifs' happen,
05:05 that you'll be left behind if you don't try."
05:09 She said, "After all, after you're there, you can come back."
05:12 She said, "If you're done with your goal, you won't lose."
05:16 So, I told them, "Okay, I'll do what you're saying."
05:21 So, I was nervous, but they were there.
05:25 It was really painful.
05:26 That's one of the big things,
05:28 that someone is advising the real person.
05:31 So, that's how it went.
05:34 (Music)
05:37 (upbeat music)
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