00:00 Pain is temporary, Joe.
00:02 Being an absolute badass lasts forever.
00:04 Ink me.
00:05 Who wants to go to Cornwall?
00:08 What the hell is Cornwall?
00:09 It's a road, right?
00:10 Our children are not going on a school trip with that class.
00:13 Alfie has enraged the deadliest enemy of them all.
00:17 We may never serve night.
00:18 I'm gonna take them on a holiday that is so batshit mental.
00:21 If it was a movie, everyone would be played by Nicolas Cage.
00:25 Well, for the road.
00:27 If you're worried about your drink getting spiked,
00:28 use one of these.
00:30 I see. Pop it up the chaffer, do ya?
00:31 Keep out any randy corns.
00:33 Goes on top of a bottle.
00:34 That makes more sense.
00:35 Cornwall is gonna be insane.
00:38 Remember, we're just your average group of local farmers.
00:41 Eighth, burn off ices, babe.
00:42 What's Cornwall's biggest industry?
00:45 Inbreeding.
00:46 Racism.
00:47 Mullets.
00:48 Pasties.
00:49 Clotted cream.
00:50 My best friend from school is throwing this massive house party.
00:52 Alfie Wickers.
00:53 You are dead. You are dead.
00:55 What are you making him do exactly?
00:57 A tea bag of swans.
00:58 This got weird quickly.
01:04 We've lost contact with the Cornwall trip.
01:06 They've disappeared.
01:08 Who's up for a strip club?
01:10 It's about to get 50 shades of grey.
01:13 Sir, you're on the telly.
01:23 These men are dangerous and should not be approached.
01:25 The Alfie Wickers you knew is dead.
01:27 My God!
01:28 Right, that was a figure of speech.
01:30 Yes, you were.
01:31 Best school trip ever.
01:33 It is about tearing it up.
01:36 If I don't make it out of here alive...
01:40 Alfie!
01:41 ...tell Rosie I love her.
01:42 Oh, and probably delete my internet history.
01:44 Red team in position.
01:45 Engage at will.
01:46 My willy's gone inside me.
01:55 I'm literally the worst teacher ever.
01:57 You taught us things we were never not going to learn nowhere else.
02:00 Wow, that was like a quadruple negative.
02:03 [MUSIC PLAYING]
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