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00:00 People who tell me "it's sad not to have sexual relations"

00:02 I want to say "it's sad to have deceptive sexual relations"

00:05 In fact, I find it worse to have a shitty sexuality than not to have a sexuality at all.

00:11 It's been a little over 4 years that I'm on strike, in quotation marks.

00:17 One thing is for sure, it's not abstinence.

00:19 Because abstinence is like when you smoke your last cigarette and you say "I quit tomorrow".

00:23 I didn't wake up one morning saying "I'm sick of it, I quit tomorrow".

00:28 It's a slow degradation that turned into a short break, then a long break,

00:37 and then at the end, a strike.

00:39 That is, in something of being aware, thinking,

00:42 from the moment I really asked myself the question of what I wanted and what I didn't want anymore.

00:45 It's a strike that goes well beyond the sexual relationship.

00:48 It's a strike of everything that involves heterosexual seduction.

00:54 It doesn't mean that all sexual relations with men are necessarily absolutely disappointing,

00:59 or horrible, or violent, or whatever.

01:01 It's just that when you see all the work it takes,

01:05 when you're a woman, all this daily investment,

01:09 which we don't even pay attention to,

01:11 which is going to pay attention to your food,

01:16 do sports, be careful not to age,

01:20 inject money, time, and pain into everything that involves it.

01:25 It's about making sure that we are desirable to men,

01:27 spice up their sexuality, etc.

01:29 And all this after-sales service that doesn't end there,

01:32 mucous, because they didn't wash their hands,

01:34 cystitis, because they went too far.

01:37 And in fact, all this, put end to end, is a huge job.

01:41 No, it's not worth all this investment.

01:43 There are still women who, thank God, manage to have a good time.

01:46 Nevertheless, what statistics say,

01:49 it's not me, it's statistics,

01:51 the various surveys that have been done on sexual satisfaction,

01:53 we still see that at the top there are straight men and gay men,

01:58 below there are lesbian girls,

02:00 and at the bottom of the scale there are straight women.

02:02 And so if straight women are so unsatisfied,

02:05 or not quite satisfied,

02:07 or that they are unlucky for some,

02:09 of the classic pattern that revolves around penetration,

02:12 which starts with erection and ends with ejaculation,

02:15 we haven't yet made all our revolutions.

02:17 There are a lot of guys who are more for social justice,

02:21 who say they are more left-wing, who are progressives,

02:24 who want to make things work in society,

02:26 who, from the moment they are in a context of intimacy,

02:29 so from the moment the bedroom door closes,

02:31 suddenly forget everything.

02:33 We are socialized, finally,

02:36 to be in a kind of voluntary servitude.

02:39 And I think that if we have sexual relations in this kind of circumstance,

02:42 it's not for the sake of pleasure,

02:44 it's not true, we are here saying "yes, I fuck for pleasure",

02:46 but in fact it's not quite true,

02:48 because in general we fuck for something else.

02:50 Compliments, love, we expect love in return,

02:53 revaluation, "you're beautiful, you're good, you're... I don't know".

02:57 I think that's what we're waiting for.

03:00 And it's already happened to me that women tell me,

03:03 "Yeah, me, my man, it's been months since he touched me,

03:06 I'm not good, okay, do you miss it?"

03:10 What causes us problems is not to fuck anymore,

03:12 it's not to fuck anymore, it's not to be desired anymore.

03:14 I think it's very complicated to question

03:17 all that we built on,

03:20 what we got excited about for several decades.

03:23 It's complicated when you've made yourself an object,

03:26 I say that without any condemnation,

03:28 since I also get involved in it,

03:30 but when you get excited about making yourself an object,

03:34 it's complicated to rethink the excitement otherwise.

03:37 The idea is not to impose new schemes of excitement,

03:41 but to ask yourself at some point, "What do I want?"

03:45 "What do I want?"

03:47 I see myself at 40,

03:50 and having asked myself a thousand questions about sexuality,

03:53 having worked on it, I don't know what to answer.

03:55 But there's a sentence I never stopped repeating,

03:58 which was, "Pro-sex feminism is the right to make love

04:02 with whoever you want, when you want,

04:05 within the limits of consent,

04:07 but it's also the right not to make love."

04:09 To those who say, "One day, you'll meet the man

04:12 who will reconcile you with the rights to sexuality."

04:15 I don't know.

04:16 Maybe I'm here to be the shaker,

04:18 and in ten years, I'll be with a guy,

04:21 and I'll be entitled to make mistakes,

04:24 and that's how it is.

04:26 Maybe I won't be at all,

04:28 and in ten years, I'll be alone and happy to be alone.

04:30 Maybe in ten years, I'll be with a girl,

04:32 and happy to be with a girl.

04:34 I don't know.

04:35 All I know is that for me, I'm going to be fine.

04:38 [Music]

SIMONE - OPINION : Ovidie explique les raisons de sa grève du sexe

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