Fonejacker S1/E5 •
- 3 years ago
Mike calling from "Tweak Your Mum By Her Nipples and Tell Her That You Love Her Wildlife Awareness Ltd" asking a woman about the tragic plight of the wrinkled ball sack, which she claims to know about. He asks if she is a bird lover.
Terry Tibbs calling a man who's selling a fridge freezer, initially offering £900, then £1000. He turns down Terry's offers saying he wants £1500. Terry thinks this is too much so offers £1250. The man says he will sell it for £1250 if Terry asks using a woman's voice. Terry then becomes angry and tells the man to fuck off.
George Agdgdgwngo calling a woman informing her she was selected to receive a "CPM" (cash prize monies), but declines the prize when required to give her bank account details. The jingle George plays on a tape player, is later heard again in the episode.
Mr Doovdé calling a shop asking if they sell the "Puss 3" or the "Puss 2". They also talk about the Dhuss. Mr Doovdé says he will just go and buy a pük.
Brian calling a café asking if his blind date has arrived, only to regret it after being told the man Brian is meeting is short and fat.
Criminal Dave calling for a minicab to pick him up at a bank, whilst an alarm bell is ringing in the background and Dave is shouting at hostages.
George Agdgdgwngo informing a man he was won £8.27, later £8.23, but declines as he does not want anything at all, as he claims to have everything he wants. Every time he reminds the man of the prize money, he plays a tape playing a jingle in which the soundsystem blows up on the third attempt. The man is seen to the audience, as someone who has been living on an island for many years due to a plane crash.
Mr Broadbandings offering a man internet "providings". The man asks Mr Broadbandings to repeat his script twice because he likes it, but then the man complains about his Indian accent and poor usage of English. He is later put through to the manager to complain in which he argues with him about the script used to sell the "providings". The man tells the manager that the customer is always right, but the manager says the customer is talking "bloody bollocks", and later sarcastically suggests that if he thinks he's now a script writer, he should come to Bollywood to write their scripts. The man says he doesn't want to switch his providings, he wants to switch his provider, but the manager says he can only switch his providings.
Brian calling a restaurant to book a table at a restaurant, only to have his unusual speech impediment pop up when he is trying to book it.
A circus act called Vishka Vishkovsky calling a circus agency about his dancing bear act.
A man calling a fishmonger because his wife complained that the fish he bought was a goldfish.
Mike calling from "Wet Look Gel Your Crotch and Make a Quiff With Your Pubes I.T. Recruitment Services Limited" asking a man about his love life to which the man says, "This is a Sunday night! Do you you think I'm silly?" Mike replies, "Abso-fucking-lutely!"
Detective Horace Vo
Terry Tibbs calling a man who's selling a fridge freezer, initially offering £900, then £1000. He turns down Terry's offers saying he wants £1500. Terry thinks this is too much so offers £1250. The man says he will sell it for £1250 if Terry asks using a woman's voice. Terry then becomes angry and tells the man to fuck off.
George Agdgdgwngo calling a woman informing her she was selected to receive a "CPM" (cash prize monies), but declines the prize when required to give her bank account details. The jingle George plays on a tape player, is later heard again in the episode.
Mr Doovdé calling a shop asking if they sell the "Puss 3" or the "Puss 2". They also talk about the Dhuss. Mr Doovdé says he will just go and buy a pük.
Brian calling a café asking if his blind date has arrived, only to regret it after being told the man Brian is meeting is short and fat.
Criminal Dave calling for a minicab to pick him up at a bank, whilst an alarm bell is ringing in the background and Dave is shouting at hostages.
George Agdgdgwngo informing a man he was won £8.27, later £8.23, but declines as he does not want anything at all, as he claims to have everything he wants. Every time he reminds the man of the prize money, he plays a tape playing a jingle in which the soundsystem blows up on the third attempt. The man is seen to the audience, as someone who has been living on an island for many years due to a plane crash.
Mr Broadbandings offering a man internet "providings". The man asks Mr Broadbandings to repeat his script twice because he likes it, but then the man complains about his Indian accent and poor usage of English. He is later put through to the manager to complain in which he argues with him about the script used to sell the "providings". The man tells the manager that the customer is always right, but the manager says the customer is talking "bloody bollocks", and later sarcastically suggests that if he thinks he's now a script writer, he should come to Bollywood to write their scripts. The man says he doesn't want to switch his providings, he wants to switch his provider, but the manager says he can only switch his providings.
Brian calling a restaurant to book a table at a restaurant, only to have his unusual speech impediment pop up when he is trying to book it.
A circus act called Vishka Vishkovsky calling a circus agency about his dancing bear act.
A man calling a fishmonger because his wife complained that the fish he bought was a goldfish.
Mike calling from "Wet Look Gel Your Crotch and Make a Quiff With Your Pubes I.T. Recruitment Services Limited" asking a man about his love life to which the man says, "This is a Sunday night! Do you you think I'm silly?" Mike replies, "Abso-fucking-lutely!"
Detective Horace Vo