This rehearsal was particularly tough for me. I felt extremely demotivated to play anything as the IB stress was getting to me. It was test week, and all I wanted to do was go home, sleep and do my work. This can be seen from my black face at the end of the video. I felt that I lost purpose in playing and no longer felt the spark. However, I realised that my behaviour impacted the orchestra's mood, and told myself to just suck it up for the rest of the practice. People around me did ask me about how I was feeling, but I shrugged them off. I should not have done that because they were truly genuinely caring for me yet I ignored them and brushed them off. I learnt that it sometimes is okay to depend on one another in a team, and as a CCA Captain, I don't have to be strong all the time.
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