01:29Hmm.
01:30Come and get it while it's still hot.
01:32Right!
01:33Oh!
01:34Oh!
01:35Get off!
01:36Don't you go cold!
01:39Not in front of it is made.
01:41Oh, very well.
01:42I shall go back to Susan George.
01:44Mind you, on second thoughts, I wasn't getting very far with her either.
01:49It's not your day.
01:50Oh, I'm not bothered.
01:51You get to my age, it just comes another hobby.
01:53Listen.
01:54What are you doing Saturday?
01:56Why?
01:57Oh, nothing.
01:58I just thought if there wasn't a decent football match on, you know, if it was a nice day.
02:01Well, we could just sort of stroll down the road and get married.
02:04No thanks.
02:05Oh, come on.
02:06We've got to get married.
02:07Why?
02:08Are you pregnant?
02:09Er...
02:10I don't think so.
02:11Er, no, no.
02:12No, I'm not.
02:13But we could do with a wedding presents.
02:15Oh, listen.
02:16Twenty past eight in the morning is no time to be...
02:18Twenty past?
02:19Golly, I'm going to be late again.
02:20T-t-t-t-t-t-t.
02:21Relax, relax.
02:22That cock's slow.
02:23How slow?
02:24Oh, about ten minutes.
02:26Oh, you might have told me.
02:28Slow?
02:29Oh, Robin.
02:30Well, there we are.
02:31You see, that could be on the top of our list.
02:33A new clock.
02:38And a new toaster.
02:39I mean, I could make a good toast and know exactly what time I was doing it.
02:42I can't discuss marriage with a mouth full of toothpaste.
02:45Yeah, plausible argument, I grant you.
02:49I said I can't discuss marriage with a mouth full of toothpaste.
02:52Are you discussing it now?
02:53That's because I've swallowed half of it.
02:55I'll be hiccuping rings of confidence all day.
02:57Oh, no, you're not taking me seriously.
02:59I am.
03:12Oh, I mean, come on, Vicky.
03:25What I'm saying is I don't think there's any harm in you making an honest man of me.
03:29Look, I know all about marriage.
03:31My parents were married.
03:32Well, I'm glad to hear it.
03:33It's only because of that they got divorced.
03:35Yes, I know, but you see, I mean, that wouldn't happen if it was us.
03:38It might.
03:39I've got some very irritating habits.
03:41Such as?
03:42Such as?
03:43Such as proposing to me all the time.
03:45Yes, I know, you see, but I'd stop doing that if we were married.
03:48That's what you say now.
03:50Anyway, I don't want to live with a married man.
03:52What sort of a girl do you take me for?
03:54Oh, no, sorry, I wasn't such a...
03:56What?
03:57It's only the glamour of the uniform.
03:58You wouldn't fancy me a bit if I took this off.
04:00Oh, I would, I would.
04:03If that's Mary, tell her I'll be right down there.
04:05All right.
04:06Good morning, Mr. Nicholls.
04:07I thought we'd already paid the rent.
04:08The Chinese takeaway is locked up.
04:09Yes?
04:10Well, I could make a quick sandwich, if you like.
04:11Well, thank you.
04:12No, I just want to get in.
04:13Oh.
04:14Ah.
04:15Yes, I see.
04:16Yes, just as I thought, it's pretty obvious what's happened here.
04:19They've joined the heavenly tongue of the moonlight flit.
04:20Exactly.
04:21Owing me three months' rent.
04:22When did you last see them?
04:23Well, it's difficult to tell against the yellow wallpaper, I don't think.
04:25Well, if they've gone to ground in Geron Street, I'll never find them.
04:26No.
04:27Do you know what I should have guessed?
04:28I saw them loading sweet and sour pork balls onto a handcart.
04:29Oh.
04:30Oh.
04:31You seem to find this amusing.
04:32young man.
04:33Let me tell you how you're looking at it.
04:34Oh.
04:35Oh, it's pretty obvious what's happened here.
04:36They've joined the heavenly tongue of the moonlight flit.
04:37Exactly.
04:38Owing me three months' rent.
04:39When did you last see them?
04:42Well, it's difficult to tell against the yellow wallpaper, I don't think.
04:47Well, if they've gone to ground in Geron Street, I'll never find them.
04:50No.
04:51Do you know what I should have guessed?
04:52I saw them loading sweet and sour pork balls onto a handcart.
04:55You seem to find this amusing, young man.
05:01Let me turn you around.
05:06Hello.
05:08What?
05:10Two small fours and one large 69.
05:17Pancake rolls and a chicken chow mein.
05:21We're closed.
05:23Yes, I might not only do something like this.
05:26I mean, after all, what sort of man goes around calling himself one hung low?
05:31I never liked him, you know.
05:36Or his wife.
05:37They're...
05:39They're different from us.
05:40Oh, I think that's just a rumour.
05:43What is?
05:46They didn't do very good business, you know.
05:48Two hours after having one of their meals, you never felt like having a Chinese meal again.
05:51Yes, he thought he was inscrutable, you know.
05:57At least I think he did.
05:58It was hard to tell with him.
06:00That's the way.
06:01Look on the funny side.
06:02What funny side?
06:03Sorry, sorry.
06:05Yes, they must have sneaked silently away with all their bean shoots and shark fins.
06:14We didn't hear anything upstairs.
06:16When?
06:17When didn't you hear anything?
06:18That was probably when they were doing it.
06:20Robin!
06:21Er, will you excuse me a second, please?
06:23Yeah?
06:24Robin, I've got to go to work and you've got my hat.
06:26Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
06:27What's happened here?
06:28I saw.
06:29One hung lord has done a moonlight prep.
06:33Hello, darling.
06:34How are you?
06:35I'm fine, Dad.
06:36How are you?
06:37Oh, not too bad.
06:39Apart from a small twinge in the wallet.
06:41Oh, just think.
06:42You've got two good tenants upstairs.
06:43What could be better?
06:44One good tenant.
06:46Don't start that again, you two.
06:47Now, be fair, Victoria.
06:48I may not approve, but I haven't actually said anything about it.
06:51About what?
06:52I think that proves my point.
06:53Oh, you mean about us sleeping together?
06:55Or living together?
06:56Living together.
06:57And eating.
07:00There's not a lot of sleeping.
07:01Well, there isn't.
07:04But it is mostly living and eating.
07:07You don't have to make excuses to my father.
07:09No?
07:10No?
07:11Well, there is actually quite a lot of sleeping.
07:13And there's no need to rub his nose in it.
07:15No?
07:17Right, well, we'll leave it at that, shall we?
07:22Can I give you a lift, darling?
07:23I'm going past the airport.
07:25Oh, thanks.
07:26Oh, no.
07:27My transport's here, I think.
07:32Hey.
07:34He doesn't like me, you know.
07:35It's not you.
07:36He wouldn't like any man who bedded me without benefit of clergy.
07:40See you tonight.
07:41Come on, we're late.
07:42Just a moment, young man.
07:43Yes?
07:44I'd like a word.
07:48Yes?
07:49Victoria takes after her mother.
07:50Oh, good.
07:51They are both stubborn, both independent.
07:52And they both have a weakness for scruffy young men.
07:54Ah.
07:55You don't happen to have a boat in the Algarve, do you?
07:56No.
07:58No.
07:59No.
08:00Well, there.
08:01There.
08:02Well, there, the similarity ends.
08:03Victoria and I used to have a very close relationship.
08:04It was I who had a boat in the Algarve, do you?
08:05No.
08:06No.
08:07You're going back in the Algarve.
08:08I should've thought that that was fairly obvious.
08:09You're going back in the Algarve.
08:10I should've thought that that was fairly obvious.
08:11I'm going back in the Algarve.
08:12Yes?
08:13Victoria takes after her mother.
08:14Oh, good.
08:15They are both stubborn, both independent, and they both have a weakness for scruffy young
08:19men.
08:20Ah.
08:21You don't happen to have a boat in the Algarve, do you?
08:24No.
08:25No.
08:26Well, there.
08:27The similarity ends.
08:28Victoria and I used to have a very close relationship.
08:31It was I who potty trained her, you know, not her mother.
08:34So, going back in the back.
08:35I should've thought that that was fairly obvious.
08:37She was always my favourite.
08:39She's the only one you've got.
08:40I can count.
08:42I meant between her and her mother.
08:45Yes, I had very high hopes for her, which included marriage to some young man, reasonably
08:52wealthy, professional, good-looking, sort of younger version of yourself.
08:57You might put it like that.
08:59Are you being sarcastic?
09:01No.
09:02Well, what I am trying to say is that you are not my ideal.
09:09However, if you wish to ask for her hand in marriage, it will not be unreasonably withheld.
09:19Is that all?
09:22Erm, thank you very much.
09:25I don't suppose you've got a job yet, have you?
09:30Oh, yes.
09:31Yes.
09:32Yes.
09:33You're absolutely right, I haven't.
09:34I mean, not yet, you know.
09:36But I am trying.
09:37I really am trying.
09:39I don't think you're trying, Mr Bentley.
09:42No, you see, the snag is there's not a lot of vacancies for chefs or even assistant chefs.
09:49You see, that's what I've been trained for.
09:51Because for one day I want to work my own little bistro, you know.
09:54Robin's Nest, I'm going to call it.
09:56But that's my name.
09:57Robin.
09:58Not Ness.
09:59And so, it's animals I always wanted to work with.
10:04Yeah, me too.
10:05Roast beef, lamb, pork.
10:06You might sound daft now, but do you know what I always wanted to be?
10:11A swan-upper.
10:12Er...
10:13What actually does a swan-upper do?
10:18Not like you think.
10:20Have you got a light?
10:23Yeah, here I am.
10:24Don, do you like swans?
10:27Well, I've never actually tasted one.
10:30Lovely animals.
10:33Lovely birds.
10:35Graceful.
10:36You know, once they've mated, first one, that's it.
10:41For life.
10:42You mean they only get one crack at it?
10:44No.
10:45No, they stick with the same mate.
10:47Well, they mess about a bit before they decide, but, er...
10:51Well, they're only human, aren't they?
10:53Absolutely.
10:54My uncle got me interested in this.
10:57He was a swan-upper.
10:59God rest him.
11:01You got torpedoed in the North Atlantic.
11:04I didn't realise they swam out that far.
11:07During the war.
11:09I could have had his job.
11:11But I got sidetracked by the spurious glamour of jiggered tool fitting.
11:15Yes, please.
11:16Take my tip.
11:18You want to be a chef?
11:19You be a chef.
11:20Don't leave sidetracked.
11:21All right.
11:22Here.
11:23No, no, good morning.
11:24You keep...
11:27Good morning.
11:29Oh.
11:30It's Mr. Tripp, isn't it?
11:32Tripp.
11:33Robin Tripp, yes.
11:34Good morning.
11:35You've already applied for one or two jobs.
11:37107.
11:40Yes.
11:41The assistant cook.
11:43Uh, chef.
11:44There's a job here in a British Rail Buffet.
11:47No, I'd prefer something to do with food.
11:52Quite.
11:53No, there's nothing.
11:54I'm so sorry.
11:55Look, have you considered applying for a government retraining scheme?
12:01I've just finished training as a chef.
12:03Three years.
12:04There's a great demand for skilled factory workers.
12:07Like jigging tool fitters, you mean?
12:09Yes!
12:10No, no, no, no.
12:11It's no good.
12:12I'm not going to own my own little bistro if I start jigging and tooling.
12:15Your own bistro?
12:16Yeah, yeah.
12:17All right.
12:18Doesn't have to be much.
12:19Just a little room, kitchen in the back, and, uh...
12:25And, uh...
12:26Yes.
12:27Well, we all have our dreams.
12:29I wanted to be one of the Andrews sisters.
12:34It is possible.
12:35It could be done.
12:36No.
12:38Somehow I think I've left it a little late.
12:41Well, the Chinese couldn't make a go of it, but I could.
12:43What?
12:44No, it doesn't look much now,
12:45but hang some strings of onions on the ceiling,
12:47some empty county bottles with some candles in them,
12:50some soft, moody music in the background.
12:52Oh, oh, dear.
12:54I-I don't think the department would like that.
12:59Some Czech tablecloss, a little bar in the corner,
13:01you know, where-where-where lovers could be.
13:02Oh!
13:04Oh, yes.
13:06And perhaps a little vase of flowers on my desk.
13:10Hmm?
13:11Well, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
13:12Well, why not?
13:16Thank you very much.
13:22Excuse me.
13:24You got anything in the way of swan-upping?
13:31Robin, what are you doing?
13:33Hold it to me.
13:35Do you know something?
13:37I learnt something today.
13:39If you want to be a swan-upper,
13:40the time to up swan's is now,
13:41while you're still young.
13:44What are you talking about?
13:45Why be a jig and tool-fitter
13:46when you can-
13:47when you can be one of the Andrews sisters?
13:49It's not getting any clearer.
13:50I expect you. Look.
13:55This.
13:56This is gonna be it.
13:57The bistro, it's got everything.
13:58It's got a-it's got a stove,
13:59it's got a sink,
14:00it's got a genius.
14:01Ah, yes.
14:02I think I see a snag.
14:03Only one? Fantastic.
14:04I can think 50 of them.
14:05We haven't got any money.
14:06That was 49 of them.
14:07But listen,
14:08if we can find somebody interested
14:09who has got money,
14:10right,
14:11to invest in it,
14:12and, er,
14:13well,
14:14we've invited them around this evening for dinner.
14:15We have?
14:16Well, you have, actually.
14:18Your father.
14:19Oh, no, Robert!
14:36Oh, just look at it, eh?
14:37The Baron Daniel Nouvelle Saison Pommes Sadelez.
14:38A couple of gotfuls of this would be thrusting money down me.
14:39I'm not asking my father for any favors.
14:40No, I am.
14:41And it's not a favor,
14:42it's a business proposition.
14:43The restaurant of the in-crowd.
14:44What in-crowd?
14:45Well, the crowd that will be in when I open it.
14:46And your father can have a steak in it,
14:47with chips if he wants them.
14:48Listen,
14:49you don't know my father.
14:50Everything I've ever asked him for,
14:51isn't it?
14:52The restaurant of the in-crowd.
14:53What in-crowd?
14:54Well, the crowd that will be in when I open it.
14:55And your father can have a steak in it,
14:56with chips if he wants them.
14:57Listen,
14:58you don't know my father.
14:59Everything I've ever asked him for,
15:00he's given me.
15:01The unfeeling brute.
15:02But he hates me being independent.
15:04Just won't accept the fact that I've grown up.
15:06He thinks these are heat bombs.
15:07Melons.
15:08You've reminded me.
15:09I'm staying right out of it.
15:10Fine, fine, fine.
15:11I'm not asking you to do anything.
15:12Unless, of course,
15:13you'd like to put your hair up in pigtails.
15:14I think not.
15:15All right,
15:16they should both be here soon.
15:17Both?
15:18Yeah.
15:19Him managed to do anything.
15:20I'm not asking you to do anything.
15:21Unless, of course,
15:22you'd like to put your hair up in pigtails.
15:23I think not.
15:24All right,
15:25they should both be here soon.
15:27I'll give you a checkbook.
15:28Robin,
15:29have you told him why you invited him?
15:30Well, of course I have.
15:31It would be very unfair
15:32to bring him here under false pretenses.
15:34I simply said
15:35that you were, quite frankly,
15:36pining for him.
15:37Oh!
15:38There's a moment for this.
15:39Now, listen,
15:40I'll get him tanked up for...
15:41Listen,
15:42don't you think you ought to put a dress on?
15:43You know,
15:44we don't want him to think
15:45that we were before he,
15:46you know...
15:52Ah!
15:53Welcome, Mr. Nichols.
15:54Welcome.
15:55Do come in.
15:56Perhaps you'd like to sit down?
15:58Vicky, er...
15:59Vicky won't be long.
16:00She's just getting dressed.
16:01Oh.
16:02Er...
16:03Not that she was undressed.
16:04Well, she...
16:05She was a bit, you know,
16:06but for no reason whatsoever.
16:07Oh, well, I've been hard at it.
16:08Oh, well, I've been hard at it.
16:09Cooking, that is.
16:10Er...
16:11Sherry, Mr. Nichols.
16:12No, thank you.
16:13No, thank you.
16:14No, thank you.
16:15No, thank you.
16:16Not for me.
16:17Well, how are things, Mr. Nichols?
16:18I think perhaps under the circumstances
16:19you ought to call me...
16:20James.
16:21James.
16:22James?
16:23Right you are, James.
16:24Well, how are things, Jimmy?
16:25James.
16:26James.
16:27Not Jimmy.
16:28James.
16:29James.
16:30James.
16:31Right you are, James.
16:32Well, how are things, Jimmy?
16:37James.
16:38Not Jimmy.
16:39James, not Jimmy.
16:41James.
16:42Not Jimmy.
16:43No, no.
16:44I'm not.
16:45You're not.
16:46I'm not.
16:47I'm not.
16:48You're not.
16:49I'm not.
16:50I'm not.
16:51I'm not.
16:52I'm not.
16:53James, not Jimmy.
16:55James, right you are James. James it is. James.
16:59On second thoughts, I don't like it. Call me Mr. Nicholls.
17:04Very well, Mr. Nicholls.
17:06You know, you really ought to come round here more often, Mr. Nicholls.
17:09This is the first time I've been invited since you moved in.
17:13Yes, well, you know, Vicky thought under the circumstances
17:15you didn't sort of appreciate us living together.
17:17And eating. Yeah, lots and lots of eating.
17:21I don't.
17:22Ah, yes.
17:23Well, she shouldn't be long. I mean, Vicky, she dresses very quickly, you know, I imagine.
17:28Vicky, he's here. This is your father, Mr. Nicholls.
17:31He's here.
17:32Darling, how are you?
17:34Hello, Daddy. Oh, lovely. Thank you.
17:36Has Robin been entertaining you?
17:38No.
17:40Yes, well, if you'll excuse me, Jimmy, Mr. Nicholls, I've just got to go.
17:44You'll love this, you know.
17:45This is what I call the Baron d'Agnon Nouvelle Saison Pomme Sardinée.
17:51My speciality.
17:51Didn't Victoria mention my ulcer?
17:55You know what?
17:56Yes, I'm on a very strict diet. I certainly couldn't eat that.
17:59Oh, since when?
18:00What, the ulcer? Oh, about a year ago.
18:02Just after you left home, actually.
18:04Doctor put it down to anxiety.
18:06Oh, I cooked this specially.
18:11May I just have a glass of warm milk, please?
18:13You see, in my opinion, what this area really needs is a really good bistro where somebody
18:26and everybody can appreciate really good French cooking, you know, like this, for instance.
18:29Vicky, would you like some more chauffeure or endives a la polonaise?
18:34Oh, no, not for me, thanks.
18:35Perhaps some more pétit pois?
18:36No, really, they were delicious, but no.
18:38See, I mean, let's face it.
18:40Eating is one of the greatest pleasures in life.
18:42You know, if you haven't got enough, that is.
18:47Perhaps you'd like some more warm milk, Mr. Nicholson?
18:50No, thank you. I mustn't make a pig of myself.
18:54So, you want me to rent you the place downstairs?
18:59Well, I don't see why not.
19:01You will in a minute.
19:03See, I can't afford it, which brings me to the second part of my proposition.
19:07Just a moment. I'm still thinking about the first part.
19:10I can't afford it. You can.
19:13I don't want to rent it. I own it.
19:15Exactly.
19:17Sir, where was I?
19:19You were saying that you could afford it once the bistro gets going.
19:22Right.
19:22But you need some capital to start up.
19:24Precisely.
19:24And you think I'm mad enough to invest in you?
19:26Absolutely.
19:27I mean, you see, I mean, have you heard of the term sleeping partners?
19:34In the business sense of the word, I mean.
19:36It's an investment. We don't want you to do us any favours.
19:39Oh, I see.
19:40You want me to lend you the money to pay myself my own rent, but you don't want any favours?
19:45No.
19:46Unless, of course, you'd like to lower it a bit.
19:47Are you familiar...
19:48Are you familiar with the term, I should cocoa?
19:52No.
19:53That's right.
19:54No.
19:54After all, it's not even as though you were a son-in-law, isn't it?
20:00That is blackmail.
20:01What is?
20:02I'll make some coffee.
20:04Where's the pot?
20:05In the bedroom.
20:05We had coffee in bed this morning.
20:07It's in that room there.
20:08I've done it dozens of times in the last six months.
20:16Have you?
20:18Proposed, and she says no, she just does not want to get married.
20:21Really?
20:21No, really, it's true, it's true.
20:22Vicky, watch this.
20:24Vicky, will you marry me?
20:26No, thanks.
20:26No, thanks.
20:28Oh, why not?
20:28Why not?
20:29We've been through all that.
20:30We've been through all that.
20:32Anyway, Victoria trip.
20:34It just doesn't sound right.
20:35Well, it could have been worse.
20:37I mean, my name could have been Station.
20:43Victoria Station.
20:47I don't understand you, young people.
20:50I mean, what would happen if you had a child?
20:52It is possible, I take it.
20:54Oh, yes, yes, it is possible.
20:56Oh, yes, it could happen easily.
20:57Easily, quite easy.
20:58A simple yes would be more than sufficient.
21:01What I'm trying to tell you, young man,
21:02is that you should not take no for an answer.
21:04Right, will you lend him enough money?
21:05No, I will not.
21:08Also, I think it's the smell of that gravy.
21:10Oh, would you like some more warm milk?
21:12Oh, my God, no, no.
21:14Victoria, I think that perhaps I should be going, darling.
21:16Oh.
21:18Well, thank you for a most pleasant, er...
21:22I'll see myself out.
21:27Goodbye, darling.
21:28Bye, Daddy.
21:31Oh, well.
21:37Oh, well.
21:39I bet you'd lent me the money if I wanted to be an Andrews sister.
21:42Never mind.
21:43Who were the Andrews sisters, anyway?
21:45Oh, everyone knows that.
21:46Eamon, Archie, and Leversault.
21:48Inter-European Airways, will passengers for flight KZ 469 for Geneva, please proceed to gate
22:00number six for embarkation.
22:03Attention.
22:04Inter-European Airways, les passengers for the boat KZ 469 for Genève sont prides de se diriger
22:13vers la porte numéro six pour embarquement.
22:17Thank you, sir.
22:19Hello, Robin.
22:20Don't worry.
22:21It doesn't...
22:21Could I have a quick word with Vicky?
22:22Yeah, she's through there.
22:23I didn't see you.
22:29Attention, s'il vous plaît.
22:31Monsieur Ebert, passagère de Bruxelles, viens immédiatement au bureau d'information.
22:37Merci.
22:38Oh, very good.
22:39Encore.
22:40Oh, surprise.
22:41I've come to take you up for lunch.
22:43Celebrations.
22:44What?
22:45Well, I've landed it this morning.
22:46Government retraining scheme as a jig and tool fitter.
22:49I start Monday.
22:50Oh, Robin.
22:51No, no, come on.
22:52It's a secure job.
22:53It's dull, but it's secure.
22:54Robin, let's get married.
22:57Hmm?
22:58No, come on.
22:58You're doing this for all the wrong reasons.
23:00I mean, you're doing it for your father and the money.
23:03Yes and no.
23:05Oh, come on, Vicky.
23:06You've said it yourself.
23:07You've got a good sex life without getting married.
23:09It's not going to change our sex life.
23:11It might.
23:12I'd always have the feeling that your father was between us.
23:15In bed?
23:17Very likely.
23:18I thought you wanted to up swans.
23:20I do, but I can do it as a hobby.
23:22Unless we have a baby.
23:24We don't have a baby.
23:26I mean, you're on the bill, aren't you?
23:28Well, I remember.
23:29Oh, my God.
23:32Well, Vicky, what are you trying to tell me?
23:33I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:35You're telling everybody else.
23:36The tannoy's on.
23:38What?
23:39Oh, fuck.
23:41I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:42I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:42I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:43I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:44I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:45I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:46I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:47I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:48I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:49I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:50I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:51I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:52I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:53I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:54I'm not trying to tell you anything.
23:55I'm trying to tell you anything.
23:56I'm trying to tell you anything.
23:57I'm trying to tell you anything.
23:58I'm trying to tell you anything.
23:59I'm trying to tell you anything.
24:00I'll see you next time.
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