- 2 months ago
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00:18For more information, visit www.fema.gov
00:57Robin breakfast come on
01:00I'm cooking for you for a change.
01:03Tom!
01:05Well, glad you woke me up.
01:07I was having a terrible dream.
01:08Oh?
01:09Yeah.
01:09All the Miss World contestants were all lined up,
01:11and they were all stark naked.
01:13Well, it doesn't sound too terrible.
01:14It was. I was Miss Botswana.
01:17Emma, what, you're still asleep?
01:18Hmm? No, it's right. It's nine o'clock.
01:20Oh, Mr Sunbeam is chuckling through the window,
01:22telling us it's time to polish up a bright new day.
01:24Oh, you've been listening to Terry Wogan again, haven't you?
01:26Oh, yeah, I'll go back to my dream.
01:27Um, Miss Poland, she looked a bit butch to me.
01:31Might stand a chance with her.
01:33Will you speak as Miss Botswana?
01:35Of course.
01:36What about my father?
01:37Let him sort out his own fantasies.
01:38No, he'll be kicking you up soon.
01:40You don't want him to find you with a face full of fried egg.
01:42Oh, I have no one.
01:42No, but you will have if you don't eat it while it's still hot.
01:44Oh, sorry, please.
01:46Oh, sugar.
01:47Yes, you call, sweet to pie.
01:49I haven't got any.
01:50Oh, I'll go and get some. There's some down in the restaurant.
01:52I will chuckle my way down Mr. Staircase
01:54while fighting the flab.
02:06We're closed.
02:08We're clo-
02:10Hang on a minute.
02:13Here.
02:14Good morning, sir.
02:15I see you're advertising for a washer-upper.
02:19Well, here I am, sir.
02:20Advert-Ricky.
02:29I think I'd possibly see a snag.
02:31What would that be, sir?
02:32Well, now, how can I put this?
02:35See, the fellow I had in mind would have to help out January and lend a hand.
02:43Oh, I could do that, sir.
02:44Yes, you could, you could.
02:46But, uh, one, uh, one...
02:49Eh, one what, sir?
02:51Uh, one, one, uh, would have to consider that you may not be possibly ideal for the job.
02:56I know what it is, but you're too much of a gentleman to mention it.
03:00It's me prison record.
03:04Give a recidivist a chance, sir.
03:06I've been going straight ever since I came out.
03:09The day before yesterday.
03:10Yes, well...
03:11Rescue a piece of human flotsam, sir.
03:13Uh, yes, well, um...
03:22Tell you what.
03:23There we are.
03:24There was no need for an advance, sir, but I appreciate your trust.
03:28Advance?
03:29I'll be here first thing tonight.
03:31Rely on me.
03:31No, no, no, wait a minute, wait a minute.
03:34Oi!
03:35That was not an advance.
03:37I should hope not at this time of the morning.
03:40Aren't you ready yet?
03:41What for?
03:42The wine tasting is at ten o'clock.
03:44I suggest you get a move on.
03:45Oh, right.
03:50Sounds a bit flash going to a wine tasting.
03:53Well, it's not all that flash.
03:54They're New Zealand wines.
03:56They're quite drinkable,
03:58but for a slight aftertaste of lamb.
04:01Listen, what part of France are these wines from?
04:03Ah, yes, yes.
04:04I was just saying to Victoria,
04:05there'll be some Bordeaux type
04:08and some Burgundy type.
04:10Type?
04:10Oh, yes, yes.
04:11Are you familiar with Chateau Kiwi?
04:13God.
04:14Come on, then.
04:15Now, look, you've got to have a reasonably priced carafe.
04:17I mean, I drink New Zealand wine myself.
04:19Have you got shares in it?
04:20Well, of course.
04:21You don't think I'd drink the stuff if I...
04:23It's very good.
04:25And it's a lot cheaper if you ship it by the tanker load.
04:28Dear God.
04:29Well, at least taste it.
04:31I admit, it is a bit sharp,
04:33but there's nothing wrong with it
04:34that can't be cured by laying it down for a while.
04:36Which reminds me, your mother phoned.
04:39No, no, no, no.
04:41She's in London.
04:42She's staying at the Middleton Hotel for a few days.
04:44She wants you to give her a ring.
04:45Oh, marvellous.
04:46Did she bring her friend with her?
04:49Pedro?
04:50No, no, no.
04:51Not in the middle of the sardine season.
04:59Hello?
05:00Hang on a minute.
05:01This may make you a bit dizzy.
05:05Hello?
05:07Hello, Mum.
05:08It's me.
05:08Hello, darling.
05:10Don't call me Mum.
05:11It's so ageing.
05:12How are you?
05:14I'm fine, thanks.
05:14How are you?
05:15Fine.
05:16Ah, well, that's dealt with the last two years.
05:19Your father tells me you're not living at home anymore.
05:22Er, no.
05:23Well, I am over 21.
05:25Don't rub it in.
05:27Good heavens, is that the time?
05:29Yes.
05:31Look, darling, it's all rushed.
05:33I've got to get to Harrods before the Arabs buy it.
05:38When can we get together?
05:39Er, well, I'm free about 12.
05:41Oh, good.
05:42I'll have the headrestre here, but come on over.
05:44OK, lovely.
05:44Do you want to speak to Daddy?
05:45He's here.
05:47I have no wish to speak to that decrepit old mongoose again.
05:51She sends her love.
05:55Sarcastic cow.
05:58He sends his love, too.
05:59Hmm.
06:01Well, it's you about 12, then, darling.
06:03Room 204.
06:04Look forward to it.
06:04We'll have a lovely natter, then.
06:06Bye.
06:06OK, bye.
06:07Oh, Mum, do you mind...
06:08Hello?
06:11Well, my mother's in town.
06:12I'd like you to meet her.
06:14Do you think she'd mind if I took him along?
06:16Oh, she might.
06:16She hasn't heard about him.
06:17Well, you didn't tell her.
06:19Well, what was I supposed to say?
06:20Hello, Marion.
06:21I've allowed your only daughter to shack up with this young scruff.
06:24How's the weather you're in?
06:26I heard that remark.
06:27Oh, how distressing.
06:29We've got nothing to be embarrassed about.
06:30We love each other.
06:31Right.
06:32Well, why don't you get married, then?
06:35Well, why don't we get married?
06:36You keep out of this.
06:38Love does not last.
06:40Marriage does.
06:42You know, we're going to be late.
06:44You realise.
06:44All right, I'm ready.
06:44I'm ready.
06:45Listen, it's room 204, Middleton Hotel.
06:47I'll see you there at 12.
06:48Yeah, Vic, actually, you know,
06:49I don't think I really want to meet your mother.
06:50Not if she's anything like your father.
06:52I heard that, Romal.
06:54How distressing.
06:55I mean, I've got the fire inspector to meet.
06:57He's going to be here this morning.
06:58Well, he'll be there this morning and I can manage him.
07:00I'll see you there at 12 o'clock, okay?
07:03Really looking forward to this.
07:19Star bright.
07:38What is Vicky's mother really like?
07:42Marion?
07:43Oh, she's a hard woman.
07:44Well, she'd have to be to hold you to a drawer.
07:47She can shatter a plate-glass window with a lift of her eyebrow.
07:52Hmm.
07:57Like the back of your tongue.
08:00For she?
08:03Damn good body, though.
08:05The wine.
08:08Try some.
08:10It's practically a second cousin to Shabley.
08:14The grapes were grown in Wellington.
08:17Oh, it tastes like it.
08:22Let's go and try the red.
08:23Try it.
08:30Listen, do you think she'll sort of, you know, disapprove of me and Vicky?
08:33No, it's bound to.
08:34Oh.
08:35Yeah.
08:36She's got a very nasty habit of hitting you over the bridge of the nose with a cigarette case.
08:39Watch out for that.
08:39Yes, I will.
08:40Oh.
08:41Oh.
08:44There is a rumour that Sir Edmund Hillary left a case of this on top of Mount Everest.
08:49Well, if it tastes like the white wine, I don't blame him.
08:57Sharp.
08:58I think it's a bit fruity.
08:59No, no, no.
09:00Edge of a cigarette case.
09:02Very nasty.
09:06Yes, two extinguishers.
09:08Very good.
09:09They are in working order, I trust.
09:11Well, it's hard to tell until you use them.
09:13A bit like parachutes, aren't they?
09:16Parachutes?
09:16Yes.
09:17You don't know if they'll put out a fire until you use them.
09:19Oh, well, I wouldn't, um, no, I wouldn't advise putting out a fire with a parachute.
09:24Oh, dear me.
09:24No, no, no, no.
09:25No, that's one of the first things we learn.
09:27Quite.
09:28Yes, quite.
09:29Um, you're a sprinkler system.
09:32Is, uh, is that in working order?
09:35Well, I think so.
09:36It was put in when the place was a paint store, which was before it was the surgical suppliers,
09:39which was before it was a Chinese takeaway, which was before it was a bistro.
09:43I can't write all that down.
09:45I've only got one little box for yes or no.
09:47Oh.
09:47Uh, well, we could set fire to a couple of tables and find out.
09:50Oh, but surely that's a bit drastic, Mrs. Tripp.
09:52I mean, well, I can see that you're...
09:54I've got Mrs. Tripp.
09:55No.
09:55Oh, well, I thought you lived in the flat upstairs with Mr. Tripp.
09:58I do, but we're not married.
09:59Oh, well...
10:03Oh, dear.
10:04Yes, yes, well, I'll just have to alter this, won't I?
10:07Yes, I'll put you down as his, um...
10:09Yes, as his, um...
10:11Oh.
10:12Is there an emergency exit?
10:14I'm not dangerous.
10:15No, no, for the customers.
10:17Yes, over there.
10:18Um, is this going to take long?
10:20I've got an appointment at 12.
10:21Well, I'm afraid it will take a little while, Mrs. Tri...
10:24Mr. Tri...
10:26Yes, yes, quite a little while.
10:35Yes?
10:36Ah, Mrs. Nicholls?
10:37Yes.
10:37Ah, good afternoon, I'm Robin.
10:39Oh, yes, do come in.
10:40Oh, thank you.
10:40I, um, I didn't have time to wash my hair,
10:43but you can do it for me, can't you?
10:45If you like.
10:47Promise me you won't go mad with the scissors.
10:49No, I wouldn't dream of it.
10:50Good.
10:51Would you like to unpack your things?
10:52Oh, well, not really.
10:53It's pretty boring stuff.
10:54Cigarettes, hanky.
10:56You are the hairdresser?
10:57No, no, checkbook, wallet.
10:59Then, uh, what are you doing here?
11:04Um, I'll go.
11:05Uh, just a moment.
11:07Who did you say you were?
11:08Robin.
11:09Robin who?
11:10Hood?
11:11Day?
11:11Red breast?
11:12Trip.
11:13I don't know a Robin trip.
11:15Exactly, that's me.
11:15See, I'm the one you don't know.
11:16So I'll be off, and I'll wait for Vicky in the foyer.
11:18Vicky?
11:20Wait.
11:22Hello?
11:23Hello, Mum, it's me.
11:24Hello, darling.
11:25I thought you'd have been here by now.
11:26Oh, look, I don't think I can make it.
11:29Oh, never mind.
11:32Yes.
11:34Yes.
11:36Yes, I see.
11:37Yes, I am free this evening.
11:40Hmm?
11:41Oh, well, he could be here already.
11:44Is he, uh, dark, slim?
11:47Rather sexy in a rough diamond sort of way?
11:50What's that, he?
11:53He's a friend of yours, is he?
11:55Well, he's a bit more than just a friend, actually.
11:59Um, how can I put it?
12:03I see.
12:04And how long has that been going on?
12:08I'll be off now, if you've used to be.
12:11Well, of course I'm upset.
12:12What did you expect?
12:13Very nice of you.
12:14I'm sorry I didn't have time to wash your hair, sorry.
12:17Mrs Nicholls?
12:18Huh?
12:18No, no, it's her.
12:22No, I don't want to say any more now.
12:25Not you.
12:26We'll discuss it tonight.
12:28Goodbye, dear.
12:30So, you are living with my daughter.
12:34No!
12:35No!
13:03You mean you actually ran for it?
13:05Of course I didn't.
13:06I simply left in a quiet and dignified...
13:08Yes, I did run for it.
13:08Well, I thought you were going to be there.
13:10Well, I got held up by Rob Wilton.
13:12Who?
13:13You really should have two buckets with water and sand in them.
13:16Well, not in the same bucket, of course.
13:18No?
13:19Well, no, no, that would make mud.
13:21Ah.
13:22This is Mr Tripp.
13:23Hello, Mr Wilton.
13:24Yes.
13:25Um, I was just saying to your good lady wife,
13:28the...
13:29Oh, well, to your, um...
13:31Oh, dear.
13:32Well, I've embarrassed you now.
13:33I can see that.
13:34No.
13:34Not at all.
13:35But I must have.
13:36I mean, what with you living in sin and the...
13:38Well, no, no, no, not sin, no.
13:40Um, no, no, no, no, it's more, it's more, it's more, it's...
13:43Well, it's your affair, isn't it?
13:45Yes.
13:46Yes, and when I say affair,
13:47I don't really mean the...
13:49Oh, dear.
13:50Oh, please don't be embarrassed.
13:51Oh, thank you very much.
13:53As I do blush readily, my wife always says so.
13:56And she is my wife.
13:57No hanky-panky.
13:58Oh.
13:59No.
14:01Well, uh, that all seems to be in order.
14:04From the fire point of view.
14:07I, uh...
14:08I'm assuming that your sprinkler is working.
14:13Yes.
14:14Now, I haven't put anything here down about the, um...
14:19Yes, well, you see, there isn't the box for it.
14:21No, no.
14:22In any way, when you two together, when you will...
14:24Well, I mean, it doesn't constitute a fire, has it?
14:27Not within the meaning of the act.
14:29Oh, dear, and when I say the act, I don't mean...
14:32Oh, dear.
14:33Yes, dear, well, thank you very much.
14:35Goodbye.
14:37Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
14:38He was more in a worse day than I was when I met your mother.
14:41She's coming round for dinner tonight.
14:42She's what?
14:43And this time you're not running for it.
14:45Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.
14:45What about the bistro?
14:46I know we don't have a lot of customers in Monday night.
14:49So, tonight we get at least two.
14:50Two?
14:51Yes, I've invited my father as well.
14:55I mean, why both of them?
14:56You said yourself, neither of them understand each other.
14:58Neither of them like me.
14:59So, at last they have something in common.
15:01Anyway, you all think the world of me.
15:03I don't.
15:04I've gone right off you.
15:05I mean, you said for yourself they don't even speak to each other.
15:07They don't?
15:08Well, it's going to be a great evening, all sign language.
15:09Oh, well, they're the only family I've got,
15:12and I haven't seen them both together for two years.
15:14Well, I'm not surprised she bought Borling's super room last time.
15:17That won't happen tonight.
15:18No, it won't, because they're going to have avocado pair.
15:20Well, and that's another thing.
15:21Hide all the cigarette cases.
15:30Oh, well.
15:31Good evening, sir.
15:32It's bitter cold, and the heating is off in the library.
15:36I wonder if I could come in a bit early.
15:38Yes, well...
15:38I wouldn't be looking for any luxuries like a cup of tea or anything.
15:44Yes, well, I suppose so.
15:45Bless you, sir.
15:47Oh, I wouldn't leave a clothesline out on a night like this.
15:51Now, listen, sir.
15:52That pound I gave you, that was not an advance, you see.
15:55That was a handout.
15:56You see, a hand...
15:57A gift.
15:59I don't accept charity from anybody, sir.
16:01Can we get that straight at the beginning of our relationship?
16:05Otherwise, there will be no relationship for it to be at the beginning of.
16:08Well, you see, we're not opening this evening.
16:11The sign says open.
16:13Well, it says closed on the other side.
16:16Yeah, but we're on this side.
16:18If I could just wash up for the one night.
16:20I may be in tatter, sir, but me pride is straight out of Burton's window.
16:25Yeah.
16:26Yes, well, I suppose, sir.
16:27Here we are.
16:30There's quite a lot left from last night.
16:31All right, leave it to me, sir.
16:33Right, now, you'll need these.
16:35Oh, sorry.
16:42What did you say your name was?
16:44Riddle, sir.
16:45Albert Riddle.
16:45And what were you written for?
16:47Oh, six months, sir.
16:49Well, it's nice to know these things, sir.
16:51I'll leave you to it.
16:56Who are you talking to?
16:57Well, a fellow, a dishwasher.
16:59I've hired him to wash dishes.
17:01Oh, great.
17:02I'll go and say hello.
17:06Hello.
17:06My name's Vicky.
17:07And I'm Riddle.
17:08Albert Riddle.
17:08I need to help you to wash enough.
17:11Great.
17:16Dishwasher?
17:17Yes.
17:17But he's only got one.
17:18I did notice.
17:19How can he wash dishes with one?
17:20I know that.
17:22You know that.
17:22Just convince him that.
17:25Why?
17:26Why did you employ him?
17:27I didn't actually employ him.
17:28I just sort of said he could have the job.
17:30You know, I mean, come on.
17:30It's only for one evening.
17:33Yes?
17:35Oh, sorry.
17:36We're closed, the scene.
17:36We've got some guests around.
17:37But we booked.
17:39It's our wedding anniversary.
17:41Ah, well, congratulations.
17:42Well, you'd better come in, then, hadn't you?
17:44There we are.
17:45Uh, if you'd like to sit over here.
17:47There we are.
17:48Now, uh, could I recommend the plat du jour?
17:54Always assuming that we have a plat left.
18:00Me mother was very good at stews.
18:03Uh, one stew, really.
18:05She'd keep it bubbling for years.
18:07Yeah, top it up from time to time.
18:09Yeah, toss in a rabbit, snare and all.
18:13This is not a stew.
18:14It's berf bourguignon.
18:16Sometimes she'd chuck in an onion in January
18:18and you wouldn't see it surface till March.
18:22How ethnic.
18:23Robin, my mother's here.
18:24Can you come and say hello?
18:25Well, look, I should really keep an eye on...
18:27I'll do that.
18:28Oh, OK.
18:28Should I throw in a few bits and pieces?
18:30No, no, no, no, no.
18:32Just, just, just, just, just watch it.
18:36So, Daddy lent us the money to open it.
18:38He's got 50% interest in it.
18:40Powerful of course.
18:41That's all I ever got from him.
18:4250% of his interest.
18:44Ah.
18:45Good evening, Mrs Nicholls.
18:46I'm, oh, well, you know who I am.
18:48Indeed I do.
18:49Sit down.
18:50Yes, if I must.
18:51Um, I, I, I, I, I thought we, we would, um,
18:55we would have dinner down here,
18:56but, you know, it's a better kitchen
18:57and, uh, the customers, you know,
18:58it's, it's, it's better, it's better all round.
19:01Are you frightened of me?
19:03Good no, Lord.
19:03Lord knows.
19:05Oh, by the way, Daddy's coming too.
19:07Is he really?
19:09Are we having soup?
19:10No, no, I thought, no, we're having no soup.
19:12No, listen, Mummy,
19:13we are going to have a nice peaceful evening, aren't we?
19:14Hello, darling, you didn't tell me
19:16the stainless steel woman was coming.
19:18No, we're not.
19:20Do sit down, James.
19:21Yes.
19:21Assuming you can still bend at the knees.
19:26Excuse me, could we have the menu, please?
19:28Oh, yes, of course.
19:31You know, Robert,
19:32this is the first time
19:33I've had Victoria's father
19:34within range for two years.
19:36Oh, good.
19:37There's no soup.
19:38Good.
19:40You're looking very,
19:43very distinguished, James.
19:45New suit,
19:46new tie,
19:46and I do like your teeth.
19:51Yes, I rather like your scent, Marion.
19:53Just a subtle hint of, um,
19:56sardines.
19:57I'll get on with the meal.
19:59I'll let you two to-to-to chat.
20:03I kept an eye on it.
20:04It just hasn't moved.
20:05Fine, fine.
20:06This is wedding anniversary.
20:07We want creme caramel.
20:09I'll, uh,
20:10I'll take in the avocados while I'm here.
20:11Can I be of assistance?
20:13Many hands make light work.
20:18No, it ain't.
20:18It's all right.
20:19I can manage.
20:20Well, you could hand me that bottle,
20:21please, of red wine.
20:21Uh, ah, yes.
20:24It's, um,
20:25it's probably evaporated, sir.
20:29Deheated the kitchen.
20:34All I'm saying is,
20:35if you must live with a man,
20:37why couldn't you pick someone with money?
20:39Here we are, then.
20:39Everybody hungry?
20:40I can understand the attractions.
20:42Well, um...
20:44A bit of rough?
20:44Yes.
20:45No.
20:47But what are his prospects?
20:49First blue guignol.
20:49I hope everybody likes it.
20:50I love him.
20:51She loves him.
20:53Oh, I'm sorry.
20:53Hmm.
20:58Well,
20:59for once I find myself in agreement with you.
21:01I've said to her,
21:03I've said,
21:03Victoria,
21:04you can do better than him.
21:06I mean, I've said...
21:07Er, no, no, not me.
21:09Thank you very much.
21:10I mean, you cannot pretend
21:11that he's a catch.
21:13Perhaps some green beans.
21:14Er, no, no.
21:15Thank you very much.
21:16If he had a haircut,
21:17he'd be something.
21:20Well, I blame you.
21:21You let Victoria leap home
21:22straight into the arms
21:23of this young...
21:24Green beans?
21:25Just a few.
21:26You're throwing yourself away.
21:28I don't see it like that.
21:30No, neither do I.
21:30In fact, I'd like to say here and now...
21:32I think I would like some green beans, please.
21:34You what?
21:35A bean?
21:35What about your ulcer?
21:36What's it ever done for me?
21:38Serve them.
21:39I'm sorry, Victoria.
21:40I just can't approve
21:41of your living with a young man.
21:43What about you
21:44and Pedro the fisherman, eh?
21:47We're missing Kojak.
21:49Never mind Kojak.
21:50Here, have another coffee.
21:52You know perfectly well
21:54he is not a fisherman.
21:55He owns several canning factories.
21:57Fisherman, factory worker.
21:59What's the difference?
22:00Can we change the subject?
22:02Certainly.
22:02Why don't you two get married?
22:04Because we don't want
22:05to end up like you two.
22:06I'll get the desserts.
22:07I don't want 50% of his interest.
22:10I think this is where we came in.
22:12Yeah.
22:13Can I pay my bill, please, miss?
22:14Oh, yes, of course.
22:18Right, here we are, then.
22:20Sorry about that.
22:20Crepe, Suzette.
22:21I hope everybody likes it.
22:22Why not?
22:23Make a nice change
22:24from sardine crumble.
22:28I hope you enjoyed your meal.
22:29Oh, yes.
22:30Better than the pictures.
22:31May there be a happy ending.
22:35You see, the whole secret
22:36and the whole art of this
22:38is to put in lots and lots of brandy.
22:41And that makes a perfect ending
22:43to a meal.
22:44Right.
22:53It's raining, sir.
22:55In the kitchen, it's raining.
22:57Yes, I know it's raining.
22:58I know it's raining.
23:00Can't you give me a guy some cheese?
23:04Sorry.
23:04I know it's raining.
23:34I know it's raining.
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