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    by crazymacattack

    Episode 31 of MacCraft.

    Twas The Night Before Christmas: Scottland Edition
    Written by Mac, Ashley, Zack, and Adam
    Performed by Markiz

    Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
    Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
    In hopes that St. Zack will record with them there.

    Nah, hold up, there's Mac, and as far as I can see
    She's logged onto Scottland, and she's got TNT
    Aw fuck, looks like she's blowing up the pagoda,
    That girl needs to get that dirt off her shoulda.

    The children of Scottland are tucked into bed.
    So Mac tip-toes in and gives Griffan head.
    Then she blows up his house and he starts to cry,
    But his tears don't affect her, and off she did fly.

    Now she's laying it down and blowing up the clock,
    I guess nobody sucked her big black cock,
    Damn, that was a mistake, cuz as you can see,
    She's leavin' holes and craters and big ol ravines.

    The treehouse, its leaves made of kindling dry
    Could be seen for miles as flames licked the sky
    No news of this folly would reach other lands
    For the news station burned, to its last cameraman

    Such carnage and cruelty could scarcely be true
    But she next set her sights on the much-beloved zoo
    Who could guess a cat lover would do such a thing
    But explosions were followed by animal screams

    It's clear that the Shadowlands will not be spared
    The Temple, the Chicken, the Balloons in the air
    Wards and spells failed to guard the School of Magic
    Its strong walls turned rubble, all the more tragic

    Next she torched Tallman, with his builds so jank
    She burned them all up, like this grass oh so dank
    Ne'er was a bed she did not take down
    That riddled the skies of Scottland year round

    John Mence's castle, too proud to let stand
    Mac was itching to make it look like Afghanistan
    Its drawbridge once held off all who'd attack it
    But Mac blew that up too and called him a faggot

    Like a terrorist, she's taking down builds in SamCity,
    This is just like 9/11, oh what a pity.
    Now Nintendoland's gone, just like that.
    I can picture her sitting there, laughing with her cat.

    She tried to blast Bill
    With his belly like Jell-O
    But he gave her a kiss
    Like a jolly good fellow

    Then off like a light
    he went with a boom
    With a bip, and a bop,
    and a zip zop zang zoom!

    Man, that nigga is crazy, and now I can tell,
    Cuz she's blowing up the National Archives as well.
    Now she's taking a dump on everyone's lawn,

    Looks like she logged off, and just in time,
    Cuz I'm bouts to end this rhyme.
    Evilmacaroon, you a crazy bitch,
    You lucky I'm Markiz and I ain't no snitch.

    Music by Kevin MacLeod