The Mayan calendar predicted December 21, 2012 as the end of the world, but the Psychic Mayan Rapper predicts every major event this year in this recently found, ancient footage. Ordinary year-end "wrap ups" or "rap ups" take note--the Notorious PMR has scooped you by thousands of years!
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Written, produced, performed and edited by Eric Schwartz: http://www.youtube.com/suburbanhomeboy
Shot and Directed by Eric Lombart : http://www.youtube.com/familysandwich
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You may have heard that the Mayans predicted the end of the world on December 21, 2012. Well, that's not all we predicted, motherf**ker!
I'm the psychic Mayan rapper and for what it's worth
I will foretell about 2012, the last year on Earth
There's a lot of things about our culture that you do not know
Like, we rap, in English and shoot videos
I'm making these predictions in three hundred B.C.
When nobody but me knows what B.C. means
Just your average Toltec psychic from Chichen Itza
Rhyming 'bout the future over hardcore beats-uh
He's the psychic Mayan Rapper, what you gon do?
Everything he forsees always comes true
His predictions are specific, yeah he always comes through
So listen what he says about the twenty one-two
The year will start with the birth of a child
Blue Ivy name protected, copyright filed
Five British boys, girls lose their wits
They'll all go one direction, but which way it is?
A naked man will paint himself and tears will fall
His ex girlfriend magically appears from a wall
A woman famous just for having sex
Will trade a white dress for a Kanye West
Sweet, sweet Swift too many hits to count them
Each boyfriend has a song about them
Music will sound a little odd
Double time beats with a wah-wah-wah
A Lady named Gaga will put a few pounds on
Nom nom nom nom nom....
A Korean man with mystical forces
Will make the world ride on invisible horses
He's the psychic Mayan Rapper, what you gotta say?
He knows that you're listening to this today
Can't beat him in cards, you can't beat him in chess
Cause he knows everything, 'bout what's happening next
Female shyness will fade away
Dissolved into a page of 50 shades of gray
They'll lose all inhibitions for the price of admission
To a magician named Mike whose biggest trick is strippin'
The people will name him sexiest alive
But a general will have the most sex to hide
A social network will go public
But have a hard time finding thumbs to up it
A movement to stop an bad dude will be skewed
When its creator gets loopy and dances nude
The word meme will become a meme
But people still won't know exactly what it means
A black man, re-elected for four years
A rich man still won't admit he was born here
Even his friends will say, "shut up with that old fear"
How do you have so much money but never have a comb near?
He's the Psychic Mayan Rapper, always dead on
Never been a premonition that he's ever read wrong
Yeah, you wanna shake his hand, wanna give him a kiss
Too bad he'll be dead by the time you hear this
The Walking Dead will move you strongly
But Boo Boo Child will turn you into zombies
Beiber, Selena...will be through
When he pukes on stage, now he swags on you
The Middle East will become unruly
And everybody's bracelet will read "I Love Boobies."
A prince reveals his crown jewels in a photo
You only live once, that's the motto, YOLO
You might see a spaceship wandering your block
And a spaceship on Mars create a famous mowhawk
A picture of avenging heroes will go farther
And a mouse will become Luke's new father (Mickey: I'm your father!)
For the Jersey Shore, things won't seem fair
One bad situation leaves and another appears
(Contrast of Hurricane Sandy and the cancellation of "Jersey Shore," i.e. "The Situation")
A human fish will win gold's best
While a fallen acrobat with be "not impressed"
Penn State football -- epic fail
And no, that guy never gets out of jail
A famous bakery will close down cause tears
But its Twinkies won't expire for hundreds of years.
Dead-eyed refs will need to check their vitals
A man who lost a testicle will lose his titles
Bad accusations makes you scream "Hell no!"
Picket signs that reading "Free Elmo!"
He's the Psychic Mayan Rapper, ain't no disguise
History is written straight from his mind
K nows everything that's happenin' can't be surprised
He'll keep makin predictions til the Earth dies
Psychic Mayan Rapper!