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    Psychic Mayan Rapper Predicts 2012 - A Year in PREview

    Eric Schwartz

    by Eric Schwartz

    1 654 views
    The Mayan calendar predicted December 21, 2012 as the end of the world, but the Psychic Mayan Rapper predicts every major event this year in this recently found, ancient footage. Ordinary year-end "wrap ups" or "rap ups" take note--the Notorious PMR has scooped you by thousands of years!

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    Written, produced, performed and edited by Eric Schwartz:
    Shot and Directed by Eric Lombart :‬
    Makeup by Desiree V. Castro:
    Hawk Costume by Mikiko Nagao, MKO Costumes:

    You may have heard that the Mayans predicted the end of the world on December 21, 2012. Well, that's not all we predicted, motherf**ker!

    I'm the psychic Mayan rapper and for what it's worth
    I will foretell about 2012, the last year on Earth

    There's a lot of things about our culture that you do not know
    Like, we rap, in English and shoot videos

    I'm making these predictions in three hundred B.C.
    When nobody but me knows what B.C. means

    Just your average Toltec psychic from Chichen Itza
    Rhyming 'bout the future over hardcore beats-uh

    He's the psychic Mayan Rapper, what you gon do?
    Everything he forsees always comes true
    His predictions are specific, yeah he always comes through
    So listen what he says about the twenty one-two

    [VERSE 1]
    The year will start with the birth of a child
    Blue Ivy name protected, copyright filed

    Five British boys, girls lose their wits
    They'll all go one direction, but which way it is?

    A naked man will paint himself and tears will fall
    His ex girlfriend magically appears from a wall

    A woman famous just for having sex
    Will trade a white dress for a Kanye West

    Sweet, sweet Swift too many hits to count them
    Each boyfriend has a song about them

    Music will sound a little odd
    Double time beats with a wah-wah-wah

    A Lady named Gaga will put a few pounds on
    Nom nom nom nom nom....

    A Korean man with mystical forces
    Will make the world ride on invisible horses

    He's the psychic Mayan Rapper, what you gotta say?
    He knows that you're listening to this today
    Can't beat him in cards, you can't beat him in chess
    Cause he knows everything, 'bout what's happening next

    [VERSE 2]
    Female shyness will fade away
    Dissolved into a page of 50 shades of gray

    They'll lose all inhibitions for the price of admission
    To a magician named Mike whose biggest trick is strippin'

    The people will name him sexiest alive
    But a general will have the most sex to hide

    A social network will go public
    But have a hard time finding thumbs to up it

    A movement to stop an bad dude will be skewed
    When its creator gets loopy and dances nude

    The word meme will become a meme
    But people still won't know exactly what it means

    A black man, re-elected for four years
    A rich man still won't admit he was born here

    Even his friends will say, "shut up with that old fear"
    How do you have so much money but never have a comb near?

    He's the Psychic Mayan Rapper, always dead on
    Never been a premonition that he's ever read wrong
    Yeah, you wanna shake his hand, wanna give him a kiss
    Too bad he'll be dead by the time you hear this

    The Walking Dead will move you strongly
    But Boo Boo Child will turn you into zombies

    Beiber, Selena...will be through
    When he pukes on stage, now he swags on you

    The Middle East will become unruly
    And everybody's bracelet will read "I Love Boobies."

    A prince reveals his crown jewels in a photo
    You only live once, that's the motto, YOLO

    [VERSE 3]
    You might see a spaceship wandering your block
    And a spaceship on Mars create a famous mowhawk

    A picture of avenging heroes will go farther
    And a mouse will become Luke's new father (Mickey: I'm your father!)

    For the Jersey Shore, things won't seem fair
    One bad situation leaves and another appears
    (Contrast of Hurricane Sandy and the cancellation of "Jersey Shore," i.e. "The Situation")

    A human fish will win gold's best
    While a fallen acrobat with be "not impressed"

    Penn State football -- epic fail
    And no, that guy never gets out of jail

    A famous bakery will close down cause tears
    But its Twinkies won't expire for hundreds of years.

    Dead-eyed refs will need to check their vitals
    A man who lost a testicle will lose his titles

    Bad accusations makes you scream "Hell no!"
    Picket signs that reading "Free Elmo!"

    He's the Psychic Mayan Rapper, ain't no disguise
    History is written straight from his mind
    K nows everything that's happenin' can't be surprised
    He'll keep makin predictions til the Earth dies

    Psychic Mayan Rapper!