written by Nabil Shaban
performed by Tina Leslie - 1990
edited by Nabil Shaban - 2010

"If I decide" by Nabil Shaban

If I decide to commit suicide
How shall I do it? ......With blade or with bleach?
Where shall I do it? .....In the glade or on beach?
Why shall I do it? .......Am I alien or a leech?
I’m closed up. No access. Me they can’t reach.
If I decide to commit suicide
When shall I do it? .....Before or after the laughter?
Time blows up. “Oh!” Max says. Me they can’t teach.
If I decide to commit suicide
Will I change my mind before or after I die?

3rd April 1984

One of many poems in "Dreams My Father Sold Me" : anthology of poems and graphic art by Nabil Shaban

ISBN 0954829409