Remy's TSA Contest Entry

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Remy enters the Transportation
Security Administration's contest seeking helpful hints to
improve airport security lines. Let's hope he wins. Approximately 1:45 minutes. Written and performed by Remy. Video
and graphics by Meredith Bragg. Music tracks by Ben Karlstrom.Scroll down for downloadable versions and subscribe to Reason TV's YouTube channel
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You can follow Reason on Twitter at @reason and follow Remy on Twitter
at @goremy and on
YouTube here.To see more Remy/Reason TV videos, go here.LYRICS:Well, video contests they ain't really my kind of hobby,
but 15 grand? You're cutting checks like your name was
but if you're asking for some tips I've got a couple rules
to make the lines even shorter than the ones to get in this
schoolJust because it zips up don't make them take their vest
If they just had a
mastectomy don't
make them take their breast offif you're looking for
another tip to save a couple minutes
if they're shrieking for
their momma while
you grope them
they're not
Assaulting children's never good and it's safe to assume
The only time it's okay is if your name's
Orlando BloomAnd if you're looking for even more time I
swear you'll have enough
if when people go through TSA you
don't steal any of their
You'd save time if the guy up at the ID checking place
Knows the
District of Columbia's in
the United Statesand if you can bring apples on board or
a crate of Macintosh
you could save some time by not arresting ladies who bring
Making old folks take their pants off? How is that
Well the answer to both questions just happens to be
If someone fought in Korea facing bullets, death, and strife
maybe that should be the most traumatic thing they go through in
their lifeNow at this point I realize that offering this dollop
of advice will likely lead to you checking me for polyps
But if you think it's no use and my entry's gone awry
Like a rape victim that gets pat down all I can do is cry
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Producer : Reason TV