Your Child May Become An Einstein. With This Creepy Bear He'll Definitely Become A Dahmer.

The pitch video for ZiBear, an internet-connected teddy bear, begins innocently enough. But fast-forward to 15 seconds in and things start to get a little weird. This ornery children's toy is apparently frustrated when the woman in the video asks if the NSA spying device cute little children's toy is awake. It reminds the woman that it doesn't like to be disturbed when napping -- presumably because it's busy plotting its escape from the piss-yellow mechanical shell it was born into.



It doesn't just stop at talking to your children, though. You can send text messages from your phone and it will speak the words to your kids -- probably to prepare them for the inevitable day when robots take over the world and we must submit to our new masters. When it's not reciting text messages, you will probably find ZiBear probing your children for things like the names of family members and whether they are currently, or have at any point in time, associated with a known terrorist organization. 

Strip the toy of its adorable fuzzy outer layer, and the man behind the curtain of ZiBear is revealed: a soulless robotic puppeteer. Nice try, science. I think we'll stick with our safe, inanimate stuffed animals for now.



If you're a Cylon or a mad scientist, however, and you're interested in backing the Indiegogo campaign to hurry the extinction of the human race along, check out the campaign page here.