Sex Sent Me to the ER is TLC's newest stab at stimulating educational programming that doesn't educate anyone about anything. In the trailer for the show, we see Liz and Eric cope with their orgasm dilemma. Now, one orgasm is a treat, but a whole day full of them is a feast! Unless thats one orgasm that just lasts all day and makes it hard to drive or play Candy Crush. In that case its more like eating a whole box of Fruit By the Foot in one bite. That was precisely "Liz's" problem, when after bumping uglies with Eric, she continuously experienced an orgasm for the next 3 hours.
"Amazing!" you might be thinking. "How is such a thing possible?" you ask. Well, I don't know because I didn't learn crap from The Learning Channel, yet again. But one thing I can tell you is do-not-Google-this-topic. Whole industries are based on dubious sex advice for the insecure. If you don't go down some wet pink rabbit hole chasing the mythical three hour orgasm, then you're just as likely to end up actually figuring it out, at which point you'll probably be murdered by Cosmopolitan magazine's editors for threatening their bottom line.
My advice is to do what your parents did, take a whole fist full of Xanax with a bottle of Boone's Farm and wake up pregnant with a peppermint candy stuck to your temple. But at all costs avoid being taken in by self professed new-age orgasm trainers. They start off by filling your head with ideas of altruistic love and losing yourself in your sexual partner. Next thing you know you've got a ball gag in your mouth and you're waxing his fender, literally! Those fake hippies will take you for all you've got and leave you drier than the bannister they slid in on.
So don't be a fool, and keep plugging away!
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