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    Gwyneth Paltrow Consciously Uncouples her Coldplay husband, Chris Martin

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    Hollywood starlet Gwyneth Paltrow and British glum-rock star Chris Martin, of Coldplay, have announced the death of their 10 year old marriage. Rumors of friction in the marriage have abounded recently, saying Martin never adjusted to L.A. and missed his soggy British homeland, what with its shepherd's pies and warm beer. Meanwhile, Paltrow is rumored to have been unfaithful with at least three men, soul-patch Kevin Yorn, Elle Mcpherson alternate-nose/husband Jeff Soffer, and her ex-boyfriend-and-son-of-also-British rock star Donovan. Whoah!

    Now it's been revealed that the couple's spent a year in counselling. They eventually agreed on a new-age divorce, called 'Conscious Uncoupling'. I think that's what George Clooney did in Gravity? Anyway, Paltrow's personal friend and voodoo-doctor, Habib Sadeghi explains Conscious Uncoupling is about people as individuals, building an endoskeleton, and something ...insect evolution... something... uhh... its a divorce. Ok?

    Now, Consciously Uncoupling has suddenly come into vogue thanks to Paltrow, and once more, Martin is free to rejoin his bandmates for some unconscious coupling with Coldplay groupies. Good for them!