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    Baby polar bear cub is Toronto Zoo's cutest killing machine

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    Meet the new cutest fur balls on the internet- European otter cubs!


    Meet the Toronto zoo's newest and cutest inhabitant, this baby polar bear cub. He was born on November 9th, 2013 and he will one day grow up to be an unstoppable killing machine. Aw, look at his little paws.

    The Toronto zoo's mama bear, Aurora, gave birth to three baby bear cubs on the same day, each one pinker and blinder than the next. Although zookeepers said this cub initially exhibited signs of weakness, within 48 hours, his two brothers were dead, making this cute little guy the ultimate survivor. As is natures way, this adorable ball of fluff will one day experience the insatiable urge to sink his fangs into a zoo handler's throat, rip out his esophagus and spray red carnage all over the painted white fiberglass glaciers of his enclosure.

    Can you believe how cute his little button nose is? I just wanna squeeze him! Polar bears are unique among the land animals because they are the only species that will actively and deliberately hunt humans for food. In Norway, inhabitants of the snowy north live in constant fear that a polar bear will stalk them in the blinding snow, hold them down with one paw and chew off their faces, while horrified townsfolk run for safety, forever scarred by the image of their loved one's skinless face screeching for help.

    Indeed, the polar bear is such a formidable killer that it cannot be brought down by a normal assault rifle or handgun. Residents of the arctic take high powered rifles with them wherever they go. For only a massive hunting rifle has the power to crush through the polar bear's thick skull, and only then if you see it before it sees you. The most amazing thing about polar bears is how adult males will eat cubs of their own species that don't belong to them.

    Even as the polar bear teeters on the edge of extinction, the brutal facts of life in the arctic mean this huggable baby cub will only be seen as future competition to any adult male which turns his gaze upon it. And one day, when he grows up, the Toronto Zoo's little cub will be a remorseless killer too! Awwww!


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