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Gravity deleted scenes expose Hollywood sucking up to China

5 years ago897 views

When Sandra Bullock in Gravity agreed to go out on the robotic arm for the sake of satellite repair, she had no idea that a rogue Russian missile was about to leave a debris field the size of a swarm of locusts in her path. While her colleagues were being turned into swiss cheese and George Clooney was shedding a tear for Darfur as they orbited overhead, Bullock was probably thinking "Jeez! What are the odds?! China's been testing anti-satellite missiles for years and would have been a logical antagonist for me in this role, but it was those sneaky Russians who hatched this plot. Why I aught'a... oh look! A convenient Chinese space station in a similar orbit! Nifty! I love China!"

That's not fair, you say. That was a good movie, and it had nothing to do with China! Well, you're right! But, just because the movie hasn't even been approved for release in China, doesn't mean its too early to start lobbying. Next, we'll probably be seeing Sandra Bullock singing at Li Keqiang's son's Bar Mitzvah party, and George Clooney popping out of a cake for Xi Jinping's daughter. China only lets in a few American movies a year, and never any that might compete with a domestic production. So without going the route of an overly complicated US-China co-production, the only other option available to Hollywood is to suck some official Communist dogma. That means satellites don't crash into space ships, they harmonize into them. Petitions to Beijing aren't ignored, they're just sucked into a black hole. And binary stars, split down the middle, are all destined to be reunited!

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