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    Urban beekeepers in London not helping bee die-off

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    Urban beekeeping is a creative solution to two problems faced by the modern world; first, saving bees from extinction, and second, scaring children away from my grow operation. Except it seems that London's urban beekeepers might actually be making the bee die-off situation worse rather than better.

    While it might be fun to locally source your vegetables, your chickens and your weed, locally sourced bees are bound to die of starvation due to a lack of flowers in London. The bees have to fly great distances to locate the one or two flowering plants not yet drowned in the salty tears of terminally depressed Londoners. Those few flowers can only produce so much pollen, resulting in bee starvation.

    Perhaps this is all for the best. Urban bees means urban honey. And if you think about it, how many things are there in the city that you really want to taste in your honey? Thames-tinged honey on your cereal? Bees dancing on discarded-condom-wrapper blossoms? Maybe those urban beekeepers should turn their efforts to other more productive bugs. Silk worms perhaps? Or, if they want to be really cutting edge, golden orb spiders produce silk even stronger than steel. Wouldn't you like to be the first kid on the block to have a complete spider silk wardrobe? And, as a bonus, your stable of spiders will be able to live off the unlimited supply of bees from your idiot neighbor who thought he could be an urban beekeeper.

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