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01:18
Top Chef Contestants Forced To Prepare Entire Meal Out Of 2013 Toyota Avalon official
The hit cooking show turned up the heat on contestants, asking them to prepare a gourmet meal using only a sponsor's flagship sedan.
00:58
Report: Peanut Butter Contains Traces Of Rat Feces But Life's Weird Like That Sometimes official
A report released Monday by the Food and Drug Administration stated that the majority of peanut butter sold in the United States contains trace amounts of rat feces, but that, hey, life can be weird like that sometimes and you’ve just got to take it as it comes.
00:45
Hoaxed Linebacker Manti Te'o Now Dating 'Scarlett Johansson's Head On Jenny McCarthy's Body' official
After falling for an Internet romance hoax, linebacker Manti Te'o has finally found love with an amazing women who looks like two famous actresses taped together.
01:51
Osama Bin Laden Foundation Awards Fellowships To 20 Promising Young Terrorists official
Representatives of the Osama bin Laden Foundation announced Tuesday the winners of the 2013 Mohamed Atta Fellowship, an annually awarded scholarship and stipend that is bestowed on the 20 “most exceptionally talented young terrorists” from around the world.
01:12
Armstrong Admits Drug Use, Plans Return To Cycling As Flamboyant, Fan-Hating Villain official
With his 'golden boy' image tarnished, Lance Armstrong has returned to cycling as radical bad boy 'Killstrong.'
01:37
Investigation Finds Appalling Conditions In 'Cosmopolitan' Magazine Male-Pleasure Laboratory official
According to law enforcement officials, an FBI raid on Thursday uncovered appallingly inhumane conditions in Cosmopolitan magazine’s male-pleasure laboratory, where numerous male test subjects have allegedly suffered extensive long-term abuse at the hands of female scientists.
01:15
Ten Percent Of U.S. High School Students Graduating Without Basic Object Permanence Skills official
A new study finds that many American students do not realize that objects continue to exist even when they cannot be seen or heard.
00:56
Modern-Day Robin Hood Just Sleeping In Woods, Shooting Rich People With Arrows official
He's not stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, but one inspiring hero is attacking people and sleeping in a forest.
01:10
Scientists Debut Robot That Can Run A Half-Marathon, Smugly Brag About It official
Japanese scientists have created an ultra-realistic robot that not only runs a half-marathon, but then never shuts up about what a great fucking job it did.
00:49
SNL Hosting Gig Caps Breakout Year For Navy's SEAL Team Six official
As part of a promotional push for "Zero Dark Thirty", the elite squad of tactical commandos showed off their comedy chops during a ratings-bursting episode of Saturday Night Live.
00:44
New iPhone Geared Towards College-Aged Girls Comes With Pre-Shattered Screen official
Created for young women, Apple's new iPhone includes an innovative spiderweb-cracked screen.
01:12
Kidnappers' Demands Only Make Sense Given Economy official
Detectives from the New York Police Department confirmed that a list of demands received Wednesday from the abductors of 14-year-old Julia Weatherford, the daughter of multimillionaire financier Austin Weatherford, only make sense given the state of the nation’s economy.
01:13
Pope Reaches Out To Catholic Youth By Joining Twitter, Giving Up On Catholicism official
In an effort to reach today's youth, Pope Benedict has joined Twitter and completely stopped going to church and believing in God.
01:12
38-Year-Old Little Boy Posts Picture Of Fast Car He Likes To Facebook official
Informing reporters that it was one of the coolest things he had ever seen, 38-year-old little boy Nick Weber posted a photograph of a fast car he liked to his Facebook account Saturday.
01:14
Apple Promises To Fix Glitches In Map Software By Rearranging Earth's Geography official
Apple is working hard to move streets, buildings, and natural features of the Earth itself to be consistent with their heavily criticized Maps software.
01:13
Congress Arrested On Manslaughter Charges official
In a stunning development that has left every federal institution reeling, the U.S. government’s legislative branch was arrested this afternoon on 23.3 million separate charges of manslaughter, sources confirmed.
00:51
Nation's Hardass Cops Finally Find Time To Play Games official
In a sudden departure from their long-held stance of not being here to play games and not, in fact, having the time to play games, the nation’s hardass cops announced Wednesday they had finally carved out a couple hours during which games could be played.
01:10
Dept. Of Interior Releases New Stick official
The U.S. Department of the Interior held a press conference Wednesday to announce the release of a new stick.
02:33
Advocacy Group: Mothers Have Right To Expose Milk-Engorged Breasts In Public official
Organizers say until there is absolute acceptance of breastfeeding, nursing moms must vigilantly expose their swollen, milk-sodden breasts everywhere from community cookouts to the local hardware store.
02:45
How To Play Golf Against The Man Whose Wife You're Banging On The Side official
On Today Now!, golf expert Jordan Ritter has some Pro Tips for maintaining a steady swing while hitting the links with your mistress' husband.