Scientists with the Mobile Life Conservatory announced the discovery of a rare Cantfindicus Phonicus, which was found on the streets of New York City helplessly trying to determine which of her devices was ringing. A throwback to a less technologically advanced age, the Cantfindicus Phonicus is defined by its baffling use of separate devices for telephone calls, e-mail, web surfing, text messages, and other functions. "She's like a dinosaur of the mobile species," said Conservatory Director Vic Flint. "It's sad really. The Cantfindicus Phonicus is ultimately doomed unless we can bring her up to date."
The Mobile Life Conservatory was founded in 1910 with a grant by then U.S. President William Howard Taft. Charged with the mission of Protecting, Preserving and Promoting newly emerging mobile species, the Conservatory has played a crucial role in the conservation of species such as the Cantfindicus Phonicus, Emailius Nonstopicus, and Gluttonous Expendicus.