Roderick Bronckenstetter III
@BRONCKENSTETTER
I was born the youngest of 3. Both my parents were older!
My father raised me. My mother had left before I was born!
Now I'm 34 and still have this million dollar body. It's all in loose change though. Living back in the UK has made me so fat that when I step on a pound I end up with loads of pennies.
My GP said I should do something two three times a week that gets me slightly out of breath. So I started smoking again!
The UK is a dangerous place so I bought this security vest. It's skin coloured and has this massive front shield. It puts a bit of weight on but it has this water cooled system. I can drain the water right in the arm pits.
When I moved to a small village outside London I had to lower my expectations. This village is so boring, the other day a branch fell of a tree and I got an adrenalin shot. I stood there fore 20 minute to see if another one falls down but nothing. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Statistics say that 20 years ago we were all 2 inch shorter. Applies to me, too. I was a kid then.
I admit I had to join the AA. That's the Antisports Association. We go to the gym three times a week. They have a brilliant restaurant.
I prefer self service restaurants though. Sometimes I tip myself so much that I go out and buy something nice.
The other day I had an outer body experience. I was beside myself.
I'm currently looking for a new job. I thought about becoming an optician. I designed a shop sign in a blurry fond.
But shop owners are animals. So I thought about what separates us from the animals. Fences!
But then I gave up the dream of having a shop. I mean I'm not supersticious but I heard a guy fell out of the 13th floor of a building, and he died!
I felt sorry for him but I didn't go to church to pray. Churches depress me. They are all built in graveyards.
My father raised me. My mother had left before I was born!
Now I'm 34 and still have this million dollar body. It's all in loose change though. Living back in the UK has made me so fat that when I step on a pound I end up with loads of pennies.
My GP said I should do something two three times a week that gets me slightly out of breath. So I started smoking again!
The UK is a dangerous place so I bought this security vest. It's skin coloured and has this massive front shield. It puts a bit of weight on but it has this water cooled system. I can drain the water right in the arm pits.
When I moved to a small village outside London I had to lower my expectations. This village is so boring, the other day a branch fell of a tree and I got an adrenalin shot. I stood there fore 20 minute to see if another one falls down but nothing. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Statistics say that 20 years ago we were all 2 inch shorter. Applies to me, too. I was a kid then.
I admit I had to join the AA. That's the Antisports Association. We go to the gym three times a week. They have a brilliant restaurant.
I prefer self service restaurants though. Sometimes I tip myself so much that I go out and buy something nice.
The other day I had an outer body experience. I was beside myself.
I'm currently looking for a new job. I thought about becoming an optician. I designed a shop sign in a blurry fond.
But shop owners are animals. So I thought about what separates us from the animals. Fences!
But then I gave up the dream of having a shop. I mean I'm not supersticious but I heard a guy fell out of the 13th floor of a building, and he died!
I felt sorry for him but I didn't go to church to pray. Churches depress me. They are all built in graveyards.